Ceremony 35
The Majesticness of the Endlessness of his endings.
Arrival, the arranging, the considerations of privacy, no less than four alters, Santo Daime and Umbanda, tapestries, a piano, instruments from Brazil to India, Peru to Hawaii, curandero and Daime songs, stillness that makes clocks so drunk that they knit with their hands a cocoon who radiates a purring silver light over all, group timelessness, spaceship Earth, the continuous smile on her face, a prayer-wish-blessing for my father’s lost little boy inside, going around and around in circles...
We started off near 9:30 PM; what seemed like two hours showed itself soon to be 5:00 AM, with the sun arriving, a single bird singing one note over and over, perched in a tree very close to the house.
Blessed Grandmother, blessed souls, blessed evening, and blessed lovers of the unions within. Last night was so ‘right’ is so many ways, in that I found myself harvesting what I’ve invested so diligently within, we indeed do ‘Reap what we sow.’ And our ‘seeds’ are truly central within our bodies, they are not metaphorical.
The rather quick onset and a brief purge: it was explained to me how it was that I became directed to not tell all those close to my heart concerning this event tonight, the Great Spirit still has its mysteries concerning ‘timing’, though the message was clear that part of the purge were energies associated/inherited/shared from a previous relationship, which I would later be instructed further on...
After the purge, returning to my circle-space, allot of drumming, the finger-harp, a double-flute, an American Indian song, the coolness of a bamboo flute, a ceramic drum I’ve never seen before, traditional yage-icaros, emotion fulfilled Daime songs, curious Umbanda hymns, holy improvisations of musical sharing, each to their holy-own and this ritual of divinity within.
Grand Bear-Spirit
I was lead by Bear-spirit to deposit the bear-tooth that I had brought along into my water glass. Bear-spirit spoke to me as I then took a drink; at first I thought it communicated that I was drinking its blood, though it quickly defined itself as being something very unexpected, it said, ‘You are having [the one] of all the drinks I’ve ever taken from the fresh rivers of Earth.’ I then experienced the brief consummation of these ‘drinks’ within me, its divinity as a spirit being of God/Creation, i.e., its bear-spirit-ness/being. I kept the tooth in my water cup throughout the evening.
AEUX, T., and a *footnote to my Peru-ceremonies
At one point a portion of my consciousness visited the planet AEUX and stood with a herd of unicorns there...
I was later told that what I had gone through with T. was a reoccurring aspect that has divided us before, again and again throughout our incarnations. That now (this life-era) was ‘the time’ of healing with this collective condition of ‘We.’ (This was not the actual phrase/a sense of the wisdom imparted...) That we had been brought together to have these aspects of ourselves consciously revealed to one another/presented in this lifetime to heal in the light of The Separation-fire. (etc.)
* With the re-surfacing of my connection with T., this is a good place to insert the note that I have yet to find while re-reading ceremonies 26 through 29 (I may still find it in ceremonies 30 or 31 via the original hand-written journals.) This ‘note’ is concerning a message from Grandmother Yage that I received; she told me, “You will loose her.” When I first heard this message I first deemed it imagined or a passing thought, though as the spirit-connect deepened, I realized that it was a genuine message from her, though for whatever reason (not wishing to ‘spoil’ the setting with such open-ended, dubious news (?), particularly not knowing really where the context was coming from, other incongruence’s I had already experienced involving Grandmother and ‘sayings’ put to the future) I did not record it in my online-journal entry. I imagined/interpreted it as a message about the far-distant future, something that might happen via an auto accident, an illness, etc.* (*Assuming that a domestic level event/aspect would never separate us spatially.) I was determined to accept this and yet, live whatever portion was allotted to us with the fullest of Light, Dedication and Love... I never ‘dreamed’ that Grandmother was referring to no less than two and a half months later via mid-January when our soul-union ‘changed’ while visiting in the states...
Obsidian Oval & Crystal Tower
From time to time, I took smoking Palo Santo and Sage around, clearing the space as others were doing throughout the night.
Communion with the onyx egg that I had brought was profound; I sensed that within it lay the birth of all that is unknown (that it was playing as a sort of piece-connected-to-the-whole/a kind of transmitter-receiver to that origin-place or phenomenon.) I also discovered myself as playing the role of ‘holder’ via the tripod shape my hand involuntarily took while holding it towards the group, though close to my body. I could feel it absorbing, possessing a kind of ‘vacuum.’ (It is most commonly used in the shamanic context to take in/neutralize negative energies.) I received a message/sense that these energies were going back to the Unmanifested, the quietness of God-space.
I worked a little with the crystal tower I had brought with me and smudged myself in its company as well.
Eyes of Jesus and Hands of God
The re-manifestation (first attributed to my Peru ceremonies) of the ‘Eyes of Jesus’ (putting these in) and the ‘Hands of God.’ Placing these hands upon myself... Deep remembrance of the self-joy-discovery of ‘original-child-body’ via my Peru-ceremonies, re-connection with this state of beingness/realization, soft self-confidence, not deterministic, quiet no-words-nobleness, sensing the character-ness of galactic-dignity-rightness towards how to be with this human-body-incarnation...
Spirit Drum and the Eternal Endlessness of God’s Endings
Several times throughout the evening I sensed a spirit playing the drum through me, my left arm did not seem ‘as my own,’ an amazing duo here... A visual sense of a kind of transparent skeletal overlay being/hovering under/around my skin-surface.
At one point I stepped lightly around the room, clearing with my feathers and Palo Santo. I sensed a spirit sitting in a chair and was innerly (devotedly) driven to kneel to it and smudge it... A somewhat vague communication began; at first I didn’t know what it was and was adding ‘name’ to it (at one moment I thought it might be my Great Grandmother Eakin.)
Soon it was clearer that it was a sort of emissary of Death or Death itself (?) It invited me to sit down within it and I did. (Previously I had experienced, prior to getting up to smudge around the room, the manifestation of the brief embodiment of the ‘Warden of Hades’ role, also first introduced via a Peruvian ceremony.)
Simultaneous to my sitting ‘within it’ there was a piano piece being inspirationally played by one of the ceremony participants; the timing and mood-lessons imparted were incredibly precise. The consciousnesses of Death and I merged, I could feel its beingness, its personal mood/emotional tones... Soon this connection dropped a few levels deeper and I experienced what it signaled as being the Eternal Endlessness of God’s Endings, then the sense of all livings and dying(s) on this planet, the vast array of experiences, etc. This experience lasted 3-4 minutes.
A God-tear
Deeper into the evening, as I was sitting, sensing the openings and Grandmother’s lessons being whispered in my ears, from above I sensed God; suddenly I was told that God’s Blood Tear was about to drop/descend upon me. I could feel its darkness, i.e., its mass and liquidness hanging above... Suddenly it dropped, sinking into me; I kneeled over and touched my forehead to the ground and simply stayed there... I cannot put into words exactly the sense of this, only that it brought alignment to trust deeper the Holy Plan that surrounds us all, that every event is a Holy Scene, intricately held together by fledgling and ancient celestial feathers as well... Vastly humbling, a reminder of my most profound connectiveness to all. This event lasted about 2-4 minutes.
The person leading/holding ceremony-space asked if any of us had any requests for others/anyone in our lives; I sent out a wish that my father find the ‘little boy’ inside himself who is lost and going around and around in circles (my intuition/empathetic perception). For a moment I connected into his deep sadness and lonesomeness...
Mary and Jesus
All throughout the ceremony I was periodically pulling out energies and healing myself, understanding/sensing the quagmire that I had been immersed in for the past six months, perceiving that it is a sort of ‘driving-force’ who either creates or creates through destruction. Sent out a few light-spheres into the room...
At one point I raised my arms to the sky and sent upwards to Jesus, to his Metropolis, all the accumulated light/energy within me via my left arm raised (being a sort of conduit), while I experienced a subtle ‘giving back’ through my right arm; mild convulsions ran through my head and neck/shoulders.
A brief encounter with the Virgin Mary’s hand* within my own, putting lavender oil over its golden eye-spot and sending energies throughout the room from ‘it.’ Energy weaving/play... *Via the Peruvian ceremony-account references...
A deep connect to my joy, further healing via the pursuit of happiness from outside relationships...
Several messages from Grandmother that I was experiencing the power of ‘the Axis’ that I had created via a holding of the ‘God-charge’ within (2nd chakra energies). She instructed me to not watch movies that tug at the heart strings; this was in response to a movie-trailer I had seen the day prior and was curious as to whether true-to-life movies would count as ‘teaching me something-movies?’* *While in Peru I had been instructed to not watch ‘entertainment,’ to only see movies that taught me something.
There was also a deep message from Grandmother to cease any exposure to conspiracy theories (a reaffirming since I do not invest into these areas)*, negative future predictions, etc. *Something I’ve been adhering to for many years.
Read More, As-Is and The Unknown’s Kingdom
One very amazing revelation came through which said to “Read more.” That by reading more that this would transmute the 2nd chakra energies into finer ones/perhaps more manageable scenarios (?)
Although I went into ceremony with ‘the wish of showing direction,’ mainly I received very subtle messages pointing to trust, trust in the mysterious process of having no-name, no-anything to define some point of direction into the Unknown... A deep connectiveness to being As-Is, a beautiful sense of outward inner-gifting-of self manifestation to the world. A re-alignment and reminder about fairness and honesty, to keep all debts to others in the forward-consciousness. Insights into the Ok-ness of being present to the Unknown’s Kingdom.
Family, Space and Love
At another place in the night, one through which there was music and singing of hymns pretty much non-stop, I experienced twice the vacuum stillness of Space between us all, as though we were all sitting in the quietness of the Unmanifested, surrounded by the dressings of Time and Mortal-classrooms... A connection with the phrase ‘mature love.’
I lay down and possibly dozed off for 15-20 minutes to find myself experiencing cold-spots throughout my back and a slight irritable mood washing over me, all this while I was tucked within a sub-zero-degree sleeping bag. I sorta ‘awoke’ to the sound of something being roughly cut on a board in the kitchen, this turned out to be a couple melons, a watermelon and cantaloupe.*
The reaffirming that I had made the right choice to remove all my writings from Ezine Articles. Sending Light and Love outwards. Placing ‘out there’ my love to special friends, gratitude, etc. *We ate the melons ¾ of the way through the evening and also drank a variety of hot herbal teas...
The stillness of being, the omnipresence of reaping what one has sown; being the architect, the builder and home owner of ‘I Am.’
A deep reminder concerning my family connections with Father and Mother, to give out more healing gestures, attention, cards/notes, etc. The sensation of a Holy Assignment connected to them, a sense of Right and Left endearment or creation-medicines is regards to them.
