Ceremony 35

Ceremony 35

The Majesticness of the Endlessness of his endings.


Arrival, the arranging, the considerations of privacy, no less than four alters, Santo Daime and Umbanda, tapestries, a piano, instruments from Brazil to India, Peru to Hawaii, curandero and Daime songs, stillness that makes clocks so drunk that they knit with their hands a cocoon who radiates a purring silver light over all, group timelessness, spaceship Earth, the continuous smile on her face, a prayer-wish-blessing for my father’s lost little boy inside, going around and around in circles...

We started off near 9:30 PM; what seemed like two hours showed itself soon to be 5:00 AM, with the sun arriving, a single bird singing one note over and over, perched in a tree very close to the house.

Blessed Grandmother, blessed souls, blessed evening, and blessed lovers of the unions within. Last night was so ‘right’ is so many ways, in that I found myself harvesting what I’ve invested so diligently within, we indeed do ‘Reap what we sow.’ And our ‘seeds’ are truly central within our bodies, they are not metaphorical.

The rather quick onset and a brief purge: it was explained to me how it was that I became directed to not tell all those close to my heart concerning this event tonight, the Great Spirit still has its mysteries concerning ‘timing’, though the message was clear that part of the purge were energies associated/inherited/shared from a previous relationship, which I would later be instructed further on...

After the purge, returning to my circle-space, allot of drumming, the finger-harp, a double-flute, an American Indian song, the coolness of a bamboo flute, a ceramic drum I’ve never seen before, traditional yage-icaros, emotion fulfilled Daime songs, curious Umbanda hymns, holy improvisations of musical sharing, each to their holy-own and this ritual of divinity within.


Grand Bear-Spirit


I was lead by Bear-spirit to deposit the bear-tooth that I had brought along into my water glass. Bear-spirit spoke to me as I then took a drink; at first I thought it communicated that I was drinking its blood, though it quickly defined itself as being something very unexpected, it said, ‘You are having [the one] of all the drinks I’ve ever taken from the fresh rivers of Earth.’ I then experienced the brief consummation of these ‘drinks’ within me, its divinity as a spirit being of God/Creation, i.e., its bear-spirit-ness/being. I kept the tooth in my water cup throughout the evening.


AEUX, T., and a *footnote to my Peru-ceremonies


At one point a portion of my consciousness visited the planet AEUX and stood with a herd of unicorns there...

I was later told that what I had gone through with T. was a reoccurring aspect that has divided us before, again and again throughout our incarnations. That now (this life-era) was ‘the time’ of healing with this collective condition of ‘We.’ (This was not the actual phrase/a sense of the wisdom imparted...) That we had been brought together to have these aspects of ourselves consciously revealed to one another/presented in this lifetime to heal in the light of The Separation-fire. (etc.)

* With the re-surfacing of my connection with T., this is a good place to insert the note that I have yet to find while re-reading ceremonies 26 through 29 (I may still find it in ceremonies 30 or 31 via the original hand-written journals.) This ‘note’ is concerning a message from Grandmother Yage that I received; she told me, “You will loose her.” When I first heard this message I first deemed it imagined or a passing thought, though as the spirit-connect deepened, I realized that it was a genuine message from her, though for whatever reason (not wishing to ‘spoil’ the setting with such open-ended, dubious news (?), particularly not knowing really where the context was coming from, other incongruence’s I had already experienced involving Grandmother and ‘sayings’ put to the future) I did not record it in my online-journal entry. I imagined/interpreted it as a message about the far-distant future, something that might happen via an auto accident, an illness, etc.* (*Assuming that a domestic level event/aspect would never separate us spatially.) I was determined to accept this and yet, live whatever portion was allotted to us with the fullest of Light, Dedication and Love... I never ‘dreamed’ that Grandmother was referring to no less than two and a half months later via mid-January when our soul-union ‘changed’ while visiting in the states...


Obsidian Oval & Crystal Tower


From time to time, I took smoking Palo Santo and Sage around, clearing the space as others were doing throughout the night.

Communion with the onyx egg that I had brought was profound; I sensed that within it lay the birth of all that is unknown (that it was playing as a sort of piece-connected-to-the-whole/a kind of transmitter-receiver to that origin-place or phenomenon.) I also discovered myself as playing the role of ‘holder’ via the tripod shape my hand involuntarily took while holding it towards the group, though close to my body. I could feel it absorbing, possessing a kind of ‘vacuum.’ (It is most commonly used in the shamanic context to take in/neutralize negative energies.) I received a message/sense that these energies were going back to the Unmanifested, the quietness of God-space.

I worked a little with the crystal tower I had brought with me and smudged myself in its company as well.


Eyes of Jesus and Hands of God


The re-manifestation (first attributed to my Peru ceremonies) of the ‘Eyes of Jesus’ (putting these in) and the ‘Hands of God.’ Placing these hands upon myself... Deep remembrance of the self-joy-discovery of ‘original-child-body’ via my Peru-ceremonies, re-connection with this state of beingness/realization, soft self-confidence, not deterministic, quiet no-words-nobleness, sensing the character-ness of galactic-dignity-rightness towards how to be with this human-body-incarnation...


Spirit Drum and the Eternal Endlessness of God’s Endings


Several times throughout the evening I sensed a spirit playing the drum through me, my left arm did not seem ‘as my own,’ an amazing duo here... A visual sense of a kind of transparent skeletal overlay being/hovering under/around my skin-surface.

At one point I stepped lightly around the room, clearing with my feathers and Palo Santo. I sensed a spirit sitting in a chair and was innerly (devotedly) driven to kneel to it and smudge it... A somewhat vague communication began; at first I didn’t know what it was and was adding ‘name’ to it (at one moment I thought it might be my Great Grandmother Eakin.)

Soon it was clearer that it was a sort of emissary of Death or Death itself (?) It invited me to sit down within it and I did. (Previously I had experienced, prior to getting up to smudge around the room, the manifestation of the brief embodiment of the ‘Warden of Hades’ role, also first introduced via a Peruvian ceremony.)

Simultaneous to my sitting ‘within it’ there was a piano piece being inspirationally played by one of the ceremony participants; the timing and mood-lessons imparted were incredibly precise. The consciousnesses of Death and I merged, I could feel its beingness, its personal mood/emotional tones... Soon this connection dropped a few levels deeper and I experienced what it signaled as being the Eternal Endlessness of God’s Endings, then the sense of all livings and dying(s) on this planet, the vast array of experiences, etc. This experience lasted 3-4 minutes.


A God-tear


Deeper into the evening, as I was sitting, sensing the openings and Grandmother’s lessons being whispered in my ears, from above I sensed God; suddenly I was told that God’s Blood Tear was about to drop/descend upon me. I could feel its darkness, i.e., its mass and liquidness hanging above... Suddenly it dropped, sinking into me; I kneeled over and touched my forehead to the ground and simply stayed there... I cannot put into words exactly the sense of this, only that it brought alignment to trust deeper the Holy Plan that surrounds us all, that every event is a Holy Scene, intricately held together by fledgling and ancient celestial feathers as well... Vastly humbling, a reminder of my most profound connectiveness to all. This event lasted about 2-4 minutes.

The person leading/holding ceremony-space asked if any of us had any requests for others/anyone in our lives; I sent out a wish that my father find the ‘little boy’ inside himself who is lost and going around and around in circles (my intuition/empathetic perception). For a moment I connected into his deep sadness and lonesomeness...


Mary and Jesus


All throughout the ceremony I was periodically pulling out energies and healing myself, understanding/sensing the quagmire that I had been immersed in for the past six months, perceiving that it is a sort of ‘driving-force’ who either creates or creates through destruction. Sent out a few light-spheres into the room...

At one point I raised my arms to the sky and sent upwards to Jesus, to his Metropolis, all the accumulated light/energy within me via my left arm raised (being a sort of conduit), while I experienced a subtle ‘giving back’ through my right arm; mild convulsions ran through my head and neck/shoulders.

A brief encounter with the Virgin Mary’s hand* within my own, putting lavender oil over its golden eye-spot and sending energies throughout the room from ‘it.’ Energy weaving/play... *Via the Peruvian ceremony-account references...

A deep connect to my joy, further healing via the pursuit of happiness from outside relationships...

Several messages from Grandmother that I was experiencing the power of ‘the Axis’ that I had created via a holding of the ‘God-charge’ within (2nd chakra energies). She instructed me to not watch movies that tug at the heart strings; this was in response to a movie-trailer I had seen the day prior and was curious as to whether true-to-life movies would count as ‘teaching me something-movies?’* *While in Peru I had been instructed to not watch ‘entertainment,’ to only see movies that taught me something.

There was also a deep message from Grandmother to cease any exposure to conspiracy theories (a reaffirming since I do not invest into these areas)*, negative future predictions, etc. *Something I’ve been adhering to for many years.


Read More, As-Is and The Unknown’s Kingdom


One very amazing revelation came through which said to “Read more.” That by reading more that this would transmute the 2nd chakra energies into finer ones/perhaps more manageable scenarios (?)

Although I went into ceremony with ‘the wish of showing direction,’ mainly I received very subtle messages pointing to trust, trust in the mysterious process of having no-name, no-anything to define some point of direction into the Unknown... A deep connectiveness to being As-Is, a beautiful sense of outward inner-gifting-of self manifestation to the world. A re-alignment and reminder about fairness and honesty, to keep all debts to others in the forward-consciousness. Insights into the Ok-ness of being present to the Unknown’s Kingdom.


Family, Space and Love


At another place in the night, one through which there was music and singing of hymns pretty much non-stop, I experienced twice the vacuum stillness of Space between us all, as though we were all sitting in the quietness of the Unmanifested, surrounded by the dressings of Time and Mortal-classrooms... A connection with the phrase ‘mature love.’

I lay down and possibly dozed off for 15-20 minutes to find myself experiencing cold-spots throughout my back and a slight irritable mood washing over me, all this while I was tucked within a sub-zero-degree sleeping bag. I sorta ‘awoke’ to the sound of something being roughly cut on a board in the kitchen, this turned out to be a couple melons, a watermelon and cantaloupe.*

The reaffirming that I had made the right choice to remove all my writings from Ezine Articles. Sending Light and Love outwards. Placing ‘out there’ my love to special friends, gratitude, etc. *We ate the melons ¾ of the way through the evening and also drank a variety of hot herbal teas...

The stillness of being, the omnipresence of reaping what one has sown; being the architect, the builder and home owner of ‘I Am.’

A deep reminder concerning my family connections with Father and Mother, to give out more healing gestures, attention, cards/notes, etc. The sensation of a Holy Assignment connected to them, a sense of Right and Left endearment or creation-medicines is regards to them.

Ceremony 34

November 22, 2009

With Honey Dripping Lips Sucking on Sugarcane




God, assist me in remembering all of this glory-blessed night… I ended my session of ceremonies here in full trust of the Medicine and Luco, as my heart had planned it, not letting the body’s remembering of C.33’s difficult toll be a factor in how I take whatever amount Luco decides to pour me. Tonight’s dose was slightly less than a half cup. Aya would tell me that from here on out she wants me to have a quarter cup as my ‘working dose.’

In the beginning hour of the ceremony (its effects lasting up until 3:30 or 4:00AM when I surprisingly simply blinked off and woke up like a light being switched on at 6-6:30AM) Aya had been telling me that my ‘house was clean’ though I sensed large dark forces passing through me, perhaps from another plane, i.e., before my physical body came into being or was I about to embark again on purging a collective ‘mass’ of material, as in C.33, from an Ancestral pool of ‘subtle energy bodies’ who were all previously sharing the same two issues needing purging, having more to move out tonight?

Nonetheless, soon an awesome series of short purges would arrive, intermixed with incredible finale details touched upon me; throughout Yage would tell me that these were ‘finishing touches’ or ‘farewell gifts,’ also that I was clean (in the final stages) so far as my son coming into the world. Too, on this night I would be at the final preparation point for being ready to merge with Isis’s spirit completely as I received the final stages of an ‘outline’ of sorts involving Holy Service.


Earth Egg


Waiting late in the day to record this, some events may be out of sequence a little… The purges I will simply list as they occurred, pretty much at the same lot of time, i.e., towards the middle of ceremony. I traveled to the restroom 2-3 times, a beautiful and incredible purge of an evil seed/egg of the Earth, the first time that I was called to ‘give birth’ to an evil egg, sending it back to the elements from which it was laid in me, an immensely feminine event.


Onyx Candles


The other purges; one involved the emerging of a World Kingdom of Evil, I felt its building growing, enticing itself, taking over the entire horizon of my consciousness, rising to me like a black, ancient carnivore sun; as it flowed towards me, soon I was on my knees in the Holy Beggar position, kissing the C.H. floor and purging it deeply…

The massive purge of Worry: The old woman meanderer, the pinning away old lady in the corner, something evil…

Another was some kind of Psychic Scab somewhere in my torso (?) A second was a huge evil Black Spider Queen and what I vaguely recall were some of her children. A third was an Old Woman, very dirty, large, unkempt and mean, connected to dirty diapers and possibly abuse.

Again, was I purging for ‘Them?’ I ask this since I received the impression later that my whole family lineage was watching my progress throughout the night; I was told by my deceased Grandmothers that as I grow, they also grow… I believe I had a series of 6-10 short, very intense purges, all deep, gagging heaves (no material). Humorously I’ve been dubbed ‘el dragoon’ by Luco and Jeff.

Soon the medicine found something hiding in the shadows of my mind, some sort of alienish creature, flattened like a withering, bony stingray against the inside of my skull, and I purged this.


ME-birth


I found myself having what I vaguely recall was a spirit-heart attack; soon I experienced in the midst of the other purging sequences a vast eruption inside it; I remember that something had been inserted in my heart (?) Suddenly there was a burst and ‘ME’ was born, as I reached my arms to the sky in celebration and quest for expressing it…

At the beginning of ceremony I was instructed/intuitively drawn to massage my heart/chest area so to concentrate more on my heart…


Cross City


At one point I found myself at Jesus’ Metropolis, a teeming city of giant buildings made of cross-shaped architecture, these were huge crosses, some skyscraper sized, enormous!, all cross-multitudes reaching as far as my peripheral could embrace, having as their ‘skin’ transparent panels of different gemstone colors, glass like, filled will all kinds of varied intensities of light, some glowing with Beyond Nuclear Energy, white hot light, subtle and soft, firelight moods, etc.

Here it was only Jesus living; he approached and kissed me on the lips, endowing me with The Hands of Christ (the ability/function of these are for being able to redeem others of their sins, (a channeling-device?). Pressing then his chest to mine I could see his Christ-heart, guarded by some sort of reef of long thorns, these penetrated what I was told was a false heart inside me… Laying on my mat, total surrender, deep watching of the heart shriveling, dying… I recall that I was anticipating a birth of another, though soon understood that my real heart was beside the shadow-copy of itself, the fake one, witnessing the dissolution.

I was then told that his city was a kind of Power Station in the Galaxy, that Christ suffered to keep it running, yet in a different ‘way’ than ever an Earth Reference could relate to and that there were other beings whose cities were made of different symbols, other Power Stations throughout the Galaxy.


Housecleaning


I found myself journeying to my friend Janet’s house in CA and psychically/energetically clearing it entirely of dark energies, after I was approached by the Holy Spider (though I do not feel that this was ‘her’ title) and was told that she spun crystalline webs; she endowed me through the top of my head with the power to spread this crystalline purifying web… A spider web symbol appeared on the top of my skull and I was told that if I wished that I could someday get it tattooed there (!)

I also visited an old girlfriend’s home (Lee) and then my mother’s, who may have been the first clearing… Later in bed I would tap into a much greater ‘link’ and clear all the houses of every woman that I had ever been with on Earth, an enormously powerful event!


God Glasses and a Caterpillar Cloak


In the Ceremony House I received a pair of what were called, ‘God Spectacles,’ large round mirror-glasses (kept on the top of my head). I placed these on as the Kingdom of Evil approached me, mirroring it back to itself. Later, while in bed I would receive a ‘Cloak of the Caterpillar’ for camouflaging while in the desert.


Queen Gaia


An enormous event took place in the C.H. mid ceremony: I was approached by some kind of Grand Queen of Gaia (Springtime?) I believe it was also a kind of final ‘chapter’ in the Eternal Forgiveness power realm…

She (it was Ayahuasca! and not Spring) endowed me with a pair of gloves that flowed endlessly with ultra-fresh running water; later I would be instructed (I was told to keep them in a sachet around my neck) to make a satchel out of a sea sponge with a golden zipper sown on with silk thread…

The gloves were beyond beautiful! Glimmering with possibly diamonds, though this may have been the sparkling waters. I was told that I would have the ability to make any water into Holy Water…


Holy of Holy-full God-God Egg


I journeyed into deep Space and was shown ‘one of trillions,’ a God-egg that God was incubating! It was wrapped in fine wool threads/strands, glowing slightly (luminous from the inside), pearl like, the personification of silence, stillness, of being nurtured by God’s connective vast Womb! It had a vaginal shaped opening in the partial cocoon, I could vaguely make out a sort of infant/larvae inside, like that of a butterfly larvae, it glowed with a kind of reddish light from its vaginal shape-area…


Yellow skin, Opal Eyes


Soon, while speaking to Jeff as the purge settled, I envisioned the God-child, then an entire scene opened up; the child was born with bright yellow skin, it then opens its eyelids and possesses opal eyes. It has been given an entire planet as a birthday gift and the planet moves and births phenomenon as the child thinks it… When the child claps his hands, the planet blinks off and on, this is his Love-beacon to his Father-God…


Honey Soul


While still in conversation with Jeff, I had an intuition about his friend H. in LA. That he (H.) is one of four guardians who are at each N., S., East and West quadrant of the Earth, that H’s aspect (on a Galactic level) is Guidance (though while recording this I sensed a vagueness about this aspect; yet, one of the things I told Jeff was that, “H. knows what to do with you.” [‘Guidance’ is the closest I came to matching the spirit of this line.]

Soon I envisioned H. surrounded by huge moths with transparent wings, his (H.) mouth oozing with honey and sucking on a piece of sugarcane… The moths being attracted to his light…

Another observation from Yage for Jeff (being given to me to tell him) was that, “All the chatter is just the Universe flowing through you.” A second intuition (an add-on from the boat-ceremony vision I had of Jeff) was that he belonged to a Celestial Clan of Star Gazers and that they are sending out beacons (form/kind?) to him.


Submersion Beads and Elves


A new healing modality was revealed to me tonight, that of working with glass beads and using them in healing-baths… I may have been filled with these glass beads prior to the new healing modality revelation/instruction…

Later, on my way back from the market, I would envision an apparatus for a milk dripping healing modality…

Tonight, while laying in bed, I traveled, finding myself on the seas or observing it from being in the air (?) The waters were filled with elves sailing in upside down umbrellas, hundreds of them. They told me that Mary Poppins is their Elf Queen and that they’ve no King…

Suddenly, while still in the Elven realm (and on the bed,) my forefinger involuntarily went to the back of my head with a very specific ‘point’ in mind, going to the top of my spinal cord and penetrating deep therein at the base of the neck, hurting a little, as an electrical surge rocked my spine: An elf told me that my spine was being woven/enclosed in Elven Chainmail… [Now it seems that I have a sore in that spot that I’ve been told looks like a cigarette burn; I didn't know about it earlier since it doesn’t hurt.]


Now You Know


Late in the morning a power (?) arrived into my hands, I believe this was at the peak of an astral orgasm, where suddenly (with my hands over my eyes, transferring this energy therein) my eyes were switched, i.e., my Left for my Right and visa versa: I slowly opened them and intuited that the opposition of my hemispheres was no longer an issue, Right eye for Right hemisphere and Left for Left… After this Isis would say, “Now you see like me.” Secondly, with the acquisition of the new level of Divine Servitude, she’d also comment, “Now you know.”

Note: There was a point in this night where my lover came to me with vaginas in her palms and soles of her feet; my kissing of these, their, i.e., the hands’ sudden hard pressing down upon my face, my eyes were inside the vaginas!, like un-laid eggs developing in a bird; this may be when the right and left eye-switch occurred (?)


Bear


I purged Disappointment tonight, tapping so deep into acceptance and tolerance… Yage would have me stand up twice in divine recognition of the father qualities of Dignity and Self Assurance: Yes, I would gain this conscious aspect tonight (SA).

My long deceased dog ‘Bear’ visited me as an ancient spirit/soul lover of mine! Telling me that she was happy and sent affections to me.

Mid ceremony I went to take a shower, laid down awhile and then answered a call to come back to the C.H., to stay for nearly an hour more until Yage called me to bed… Getting in bed Yage would tell me that Isis was waiting for me and that she’d let us be together instead, though later Yage would show up for a brief lovemaking ‘spell.’


Young Bull of Hades


Prior to getting into bed I was prompted to go into the full Holy Beggar pose and kiss the Earth… Soon, as my lips were still held to the concrete floor, I found that I was kissing God’s body in some way, possibly his forehead (?) Soon my forehead went towards his; I journeyed to Hades where I was given the Sword of Hades and told that I was now a sort of beginner-warden/keeper-watcher of Hades…

I envisioned myself kneeling and possessing bright white bull horns going straight out of my head. The Moose totem came to me and I may have possessed it briefly (The subject-spirit of the Deer totem also visited).

While in Hades I found myself standing in front of a deceased old friend of mine, Mr. Tennyson (my long ago ‘adopted grandfather‘), he was crying, I took him into my arms and walked him slowly up the stairs, out of Hades and into the fresh Springtime air: I recall seeing his ‘kitten eyes’ opening in the clear light. The sword was a large, two handed one, blazing red hot, though no flames… Twice this night I would get inside the Black Egg.

Note: After receiving the Sword of Hades, sitting upright on my heels and beholding this majestic duty and honor rising in me like an eternal dawn!


Love Notes


Tonight my lover and I would make the deepest, most profound love to date, as I opened my eyes to hundreds of pink rose petals being poured into me. Listening to the Cocteau Twins… Having climaxes in one another’s entire vein-system (or it may have only been in mine) as the whole body surged and lit with this glowing cosmic amber honey!

I experienced Isis drinking from my crown chakra tonight; I could psychically sense the ripples being created by her lapping/sipping.

With the event of an astral-sexual climax (electronic), I envisioned the manifestation of a crystal palace as a result taking place on another plane of existence…

I’d be told this evening by Yage, that no matter the personal content of these blog entries, that all people had this potential and to disclose it, since its revelation will speak to their potential.

Experiencing Luco as Grande Dad, the Father on Earth: A voice would tell me that he was one of my spiritual fathers.

Early on in the ceremony I was told that man’s obsession with ‘perfect abs’ was a fear of pregnancy, that it was a psychic shield of sorts… That it was something his soul had to journey into and out of, since in old age he’d loose this shield by default and find himself pregnant with his deeds, that Death plays out one’s deeds and that it is these actions that determine the next incarnation…

While in ceremony, towards the end of the purge, the idea that my deeds were Holy Material dawned deeper and deeper into me! I was told 3-4 times to remember that my deeds after leaving Peru would be the material that Yage would work with upon my return, that I was now a pure place of origin (not her exact words), i.e., it felt as though I were standing from a type of ‘zero point.’ The sense of this revelation’s furtherance was so heart deepening!

I manifested as the Green Cobra briefly, an awesome incarnation! Feeling its massive snake-ness surrounding my head and its body in mine…

Isis would manifest tonight with a python around her neck… Also she manifested as dressed in black with red hearts! We manifested as two Galactically huge (about the size of Earth’s moon) crystal bumblebees kissing in Space!

I experienced the Galactic Vagina and was told that it was the Most Almighty Flirt; I also deeply sensed that Space was the surface entrance to this vagina and that all the stars and planets were its beads of sweat and enticed dew drops.


The Holy White Haired Horn Blower and Atlantis


The most dear and awesome unfolding took place in bed… I envisioned Isis as the Holy White Haired Horn Blower. The vision was that of an elderly woman’s head being on the body of a young woman (between 17 and 20) and possessing big, electric static-flowing white hair, holding a kind of horn, possibly that of a buffalo or cow. This is where the Mermaid lower half of the body showed up, i.e., that this white haired being had a Mermaid’s lower half.

Soon this developed into a full blown astral travel together as we went deep, miles and miles underwater to visit the location of our original One Throne…

I envisioned our Holy Skeleton, our first body, i.e., a sort of fish-body skeleton (and the fins) lower half transitioning into a round vertebrae on a human pelvis (though this transition area between human and aquatic was vague,) possessing a regular human torso, arms and two human heads… (Could this have also been a second incarnation from the Galactic Skeleton composition?) I was told ‘we’ were born in Atlantis and that Atlantis did not blow up, that “The sun took it back.”

The underwater surroundings of the throne were murky, seemingly abandoned, archaic, there were tall rectilinear structures somewhat ‘rooted’ to the ocean floor that all curved towards a center, where our throne sat: It was here that we sat together, though I believe as two separate mermaids (?) (Possibly the split of the God-seed produced our two bodies as separate species-expressions specific to the incarnation context of the time?] This journey was awesome!

Note: I shape changed while on the throne, for fun; I, laughing afterward at my being a puffed out porcupine with strawberries stuck at the ends of its quills! Isis may have also changed, though I do not recall into what…

There was also a point in the Atlantis introduction that I witnessed seeing a part of the city above water and to the left, gleaming golden yellow temples and a tropical sense.


The Reds


Soon an extraordinary event occurred! My first UFO encounter. A little spaceship appeared and took me far out into Space to a larger replica of their smaller transport. The Mother ship was about the size of a medium-planet, say Venus…

Once inside, they showed themselves as reddish, transparent beings, with large heads and between four and five feet tall… The way they hosted being-visitors was by undoing themselves and allowing the visitor to step inside them, then they’d walk around with you inside. There were many other beings here inside these extraterrestrials, visiting, staying, both? I was told that they called themselves, ‘The Reds.’ I opened my eyes and found myself back in bed.

Soon their ship showed up again, they asked if I wanted to go once more; I experienced a little resistance from my body and then laughed, thinking, “When ever do I get this opportunity, geez?!” So I said, ‘Yes’ and soon found myself at the interior of Neptune where there was only three things, Lakes of bright yellow Sulfur, low hills of pine trees and pine cones on the ground: I vaguely recall one of the Reds exclaiming, ‘Isn’t it beautiful!?’ I agreed and soon was back in bed, being presented with a third journey offer, which I accepted.

We went to the Eye of Jupiter: There I witnessed a Galactic Clipper Ship (Cosmically huge!!), a living being riding the 450+ year old storm of Jupiter’s eye. There were none on board, only us visitors. Its sails were similar to satellite panels, huge in breadth/height, possibly the size of the USA each! I was told that this living ship was some kind of transmitter, that it sent out into Space the energies/signals produced by the Eye’s Storm…

Returning back to bed I was wondering about the reality of this, since it was so science-fiction-spectacular: Suddenly one of the Red’s manifested and stuck its tongue in my eye, going all the way to my pineal gland (third eye), where it proceeded to stimulate it very similar to a woman’s clitoris! This rocked my body for several minutes, sending never before sensed peculiar energies flowing around…

The Spirit of Night was briefly with me on the outside of my bed and I kissing her fabric. I would cuddle with Isis: Tonight I gained further depth of my true incarnation of an arch-angel. Taking my wing and extending it out over her...

Note: Possibly connected with the first time I visited with The Reds: There was a scene in a semi-dark room or grotto, where it showed a huge feminine sort of sarcophagus (three or four times human size) positioned flush against a wall; it looked to be semi-living, i.e., half alien created and half organic… Suddenly it split open and a female being stepped out, she was transparent and contained within her all the fruits and vegetables found in the traditional Horn of Plenty; this image sunk so, so deep into the awe of my heart! One of the most exquisite impressions of the evening!


My Friend


While laying down I made a connection for my love of my friend in CA. Her spirit came to me and then an entity showed itself, a major demon: I took the Winged Gloves from my crown chakra, made the Virgin Mary sign for awhile and then proceeded to gently dissolve it, turning it to ash… Prior to the gloves I placed the hands of Christ on its shoulders; vaguely I recall that this may have been the only treatment presented to it. (It showed up inside the mosquito net with me.)

After this exorcism of the major demon in her, I sat for a long time with my legs crossed and in the prayer-hand position, radiating love and gratefulness towards that ‘space’ where it once sat…


Child-I


At the beginning of ceremony an incredible event occurred where I located a child entity in me: It said that it felt, ‘Like shit, etc.’ There was suddenly a small crisis-sensation pulsing through me, I could feel the sense of death on the edge, self-destruction, etc. I took it into my heart, it said that it still felt this way; I sent it many beautiful gifts, love, affection, etc. Eventually it said, “I can feel me.” It settled in; its health was also connected to my mandate that my actions would be my spiritual building blocks, food for it, etc. Possibly I was purging for it? Previously, the child-entity/spirit asked, “How do I know that you’re sincere and not lying?” I answered, “By my actions.” [The fruit of my actions will feed the spirits (and) attract those in me.]


Notes


Tonight I purged Impatience.

Manifesting as the Arch-angel consciousness!

Sending loving care to my body, especially my stomach and intestines… Talking to them, massaging and being told that material was moving down, from the stomach into my bowels…

Sensing how my body becomes the sole possession of the Medicine’s Divine Will…

On this night, laying in bed, I had the wish that a friend of mine find his soul mate and sent this desire outwards, like a healing sphere: Soon I received a further development from this ‘message.’ I envisioned it traveling to ‘her’ (his soul mate) and plunging into her chest… Once there I felt that I could intuit the word ‘Ayahuasca’ and lead her to this place in Peru where we are studying as apprentices. We shall see… Recalling the scene where I sensed that my friend will become a father and our talk in the C.H. about this.

The time in bed where I held my two hands in specific poses (To research these later in Indian literature.) Meeting the Holy Naughty Mistress and her lessons concerning sexual expression…

The Giant Python swallowing me in the C.H. My body feeling like a giant phallus inside a vagina as the python constricted from time to time with me inside.

The sensation of feeling pure; that Yage is taking us out of the dream and making us real. Reminded of my God-smarts…

There was a point in the ceremony where Yage indicated to me that I may have unknowingly played a joke on myself in how I interpreted her saying to me, “You may proceed with the medicine as you see fit.” in regards to working with others, etc. Also, there was a good hint that she was in on the joke too: She said that next time would be for real (?) This revelation showed me how much of a babe I still am in regards to working with the Medicine. There were also dimensional sensations coming from the zone, working with my intuition concerning the subject of working with the medicine and others… Beautiful blessings!

Towards the end of the purge (in the C.H.) I was letting out spirit-hounds/dogs of evil through belching… Later in the night: Being warned that the ‘spiritual school’ I once belonged to was/is a “Hornet’s Nest” and to stay away from it on all levels of interaction. After my shower I was endowed by the Fairies with a parasite-spirit-insect that feeds on these ’Hornets.’

On the night of the next day, after the big celebration of it being the last day of our three-month program, I sent a message to Luco who was asleep in the C.H. late at night, that I cared for him, though didn’t know whether to come and get him to come inside where it was less damp since it had started to rain very hard… Within seconds of sending this intent, he entered the house, going upstairs to bed! Love reaches without stretching anything out of place!

Dignity, Strength, Reliability (Father totem celebrations)

The attempt at taking pictures of my two Grandmothers’ spirit orbs (after their request that I do so) and getting messages that some orbs are too weak to show up on film, that as they develop finer and finer vibrations they can be detected… Meghan took many successful pictures of these in the C.H. and at the village graveyard on All Saints Eve.

Journeying to the crystal chandelier in God’s chateau: Hanging at the top of it, bedazzled by the crystal prisms, salivating on myself, so drunk in love!

God, the dream weaver of his own dreams, i.e., “I dreamed me.”

At the end of the three month session Luco told me what my two shamanic earth-totems were; The Jaguar and The Sky.

Ceremony 33

November 20, 2009

Glory Be To God on High!



To live with myself for an eternity, reconciled and basking in plains of warmly lit snow, Springtime walking with my hand in hers, Night kissing me all over and Summer lounging around my feet as my slippers; this night would develop into the Holiest of purges to date, so far as my being able to interact with the spirit dimension of beings and pull the conscious God-seed resources from myself to smile my way through such demonic realms, a kingdom of contained black interwoven flame-granite and haunted houses as real as you and I, that would eventually contain a little glass of water with a flower in it in every dark spot, each of its previous hiding places… After this night a crane now resides at the bottom of my stomach who has wings of metallic rainbow colors, protecting, watching, cleaning me and itself, radiating God’s palette again and again…

I am the gentle boy of Ayahuasca, the Keeper of the Temple of Fourth Facing Forgiveness, Ledge-lover at the edge of the Hades-Netherworld’s unfathomable girth and sightless horizon, carrier of the Virgin Mary’s Golden Eye, my lighthouse in my left palm reaching out, a mile down into this hell-chasm, and with waves of my Holy spotlight, I am feasting Love, Faith, Hope and Forgiveness upon its solidified clouds of yearning for God’s redemption… Thank you God for this task’s kingdom come! Kissing the ground as you call me to do so…


Son of Suns


Luco poured me a half cup of the newly brewed medicine; surprisingly it went down as smooth as warm milk. Prior to the ceremony I asked (for my friend in CA) for clarification about her plans/guidance in building a spiritual community… [I appreciate you my friend, as you read this, know that my friendship resonates forever. And Isis; as always, before memory was divided into yesterday and today, before love was a word, I to thee and thee to I.]

Beginning a voice told me that I would be purging for my son who is to incarnate to this Earth in my lifetime… My senses opened and dedicated at the introduction of the purge, this evacuation-ritual in service and love for him…

Prior to my purge, Ayahuasca would say that tonight would be Part 3 to last night; I smiled, deeply resonating with her voice and care, while my interpretation of a ‘third night of the similar’ and of her unconditional love would be thoroughly tested…

Also, the remembering of that foreknowledge from the previous ceremony thirty-two that I would walk in the Valley of Death to look for some-thing for some-one, this only came to me far after the event was actualized/lived.


Calling all Cars


Physically this was the longest purge of my life thus far, lasting about four hours of non-stop gigantic guttural heaves and strained, on the edge convulsions from every cell in my body, from Root Chakra to Crown and intermingling them in between, a king’s crown brought under, soaked and tangled in a wildly dancing oak tree who has an underground Galactic itch it cannot scratch!

These purges began in the Ceremony House where, after about 10-15 minutes into the four hours, Luco would tell me to go and take a shower; it was after the shower, while laying in bed that the depth opened up and the medicine began to reveal what I was told was the last remaining dark area (this ‘area’ unknowingly held a plural connotation) in me*… All throughout the night I would (and the medicine) remind myself that this was so that my son would not inherit these evil-seeds that had been carried forward in my Family Tree(s) for an undisclosed period of time…

[*In the past Ayahuasca told me that I was finished with “big purges.” Tonight seemed to prove this contradictory, yet after much soul searching I feel that I was purging while connected to my soul-child (a son, possibly a daughter or both?) So, it could be that these areas arose only in the context to my wishing to bring a child into this dimension-body and that those layers had to be accessed to achieve what Yage has told me several times would be the arrival of a Prince in the Medicine (or Princess).

The wish to purge this material ‘for him’ superimposed over myself changed me, and certainly drove this night into a fury of busyness on part of The Medicine so to clean house before my departure back to the states. This is not to say that these purges were not for me too, they were and ultimately, as I said above, this was the Holiest night with the spirit dimension thus far in my shamanic work and prompted a huge change in my being-abilities to serve Love and Forgiveness to this dimension’s aches and healing.]

Also, revealed early into this time period, was one purge-subject that had occurred in this lifetime of my physical body and spirit that too could carry over to my son if not purged/redeemed, not necessarily having to do with ‘inheritances,’ per se… This would be revealed as a sexual abuse regime involving me as a child of between 4 and 6 years old and carried out by a long ago two step sisters…

The visions and Hades dialog was so very visceral, soul wrenching, as the medicine took me again and again to the bathroom, to first get on my knees, perform the Empty Bowl and Beggar pose and kiss the ground prior to the purging into the toilet...

Huge ‘things’ would be released tonight, buried, living, being-bones, haunted houses, death traps, a Mad Grandmother, writhing sorrow and true-to-life atmospheric/elemental Spookiness, cobwebs and dirty houses, old baby diapers, filth and the haunted spirit-structures of my step-sisters, a murder, corpses/ghosts, etc… Kingdoms (mansions/architectures) of evil, freight-train-sized demons, unnameable creatures, evil hooked-in lung-fairies, dinosaur-like black soot skeletons, etc.

There were times (at the early stages) that I used some of my shamanic elements to help clear the initial dark results issuing out of me, particularly Dragon’s Breath and the calling in of my Galactic Guardian Totem, the white angel winged grizzly bear, then the jaguar, green cobra, hawk, tiger, owl and octopus.

Early on I had my Turtle head next to me as well, as it swam in my stomach in the first stages to add calm and company to the oncoming storm… I also took the baby dragon out of my left pocket and sat it on my shoulder: The Red Dragon spirit appeared briefly, once, so to post guard as something was nearby.

Many times tonight I felt that I may have to call Luco, though as difficult as these death-elements were to pass through, my bright presence and celebration of my God-joy shone through the entire experience, as my consciousness was standing on the middle of a seesaw of two vastly distinct dimensions; one was an ongoing channel of my conscious-building and the sending out of my joy and strength, my resolve, my dignity and fatherhood potential to the world; I am the Father of the World! Fair, contemplative immediately without prerequisites, burning analytical thought and the occupation to make connections in the fire of my immediate Forgiveness; no one is ugly! I am being born again and again as I write this…

This celebration half surged alongside the Medicine’s wrestling with what amounted to my stomach being a haunted house of specters of the most high evil… To begin, the first manifestation was a voice that told me that my step-sisters had sexually abused me, ‘upside down and sideways,’ the pictures and sensations of death-arrival-grief were gigantic, yet, my blazing gold presence stood steady, looking out, as though through a Glass Darkly, a flame in a soot covered lamp glass.


Heart to Heart


After purging for several hours, the purge also moved into an interior dimension, into a sort of spirit-world-purge, where dead things would be presented to me to transmute into live breathing, heart to heart connected venues, seeds sprouting from death-feces… Down and down this dance peeled itself, spiraling around and around, peeling a poisonous fruit until it hit its center, the seeds, my two step sisters’ burial mounds, their haunted tombs deep beneath the earth…

It was here that I would take them, skeletons and all, stroke them, pull them under my angel wings as the Hades circuit surged on, quivered under dispassionate struggling, while too, I was going to the bathroom to purge hatred, scary, demons, long evil trains of writhing dragons and giant demented, anonymous skeletons.

Soon there were flowers at their grave sites, their tombstones glistened with polish and cleanliness; suddenly a Spirit Crane landed on my back and let out a pile of substance, I was directed to consume this and did, soon a voice said, “The crane is now living at the bottom of your stomach to protect you from what enters there (or tries to enter).”

I then saw the crane fly up upon one of the tombstones and spread its broad metallic, gently flowing rainbow wings, embracing my two sisters, as they stood smiling: Soon the power of the Gorilla Spirit would enter me (at least three times this night) as I would beat on my chest to proclaim my position as resolute to be a Right Man… There were also times when the Inner Little Boy in me would prompt me to call up this spirit (the gorilla) and manifest it; it was an awesome incantation of such deep resonance!

Soon the Buffalo Spirit showed up and I saw my sisters riding buffalo bareback: I said, “Ride my sisters, be free.” There was a time in the night (at least 3-4) where Mermaids showed up in my stomach, taking orbs of pain and evil and dissolving them, this helped immensely and I thanked them…

I believe though this event had arrived as a resolution-stage, that, as the next purge-subject introduced itself, there was a crossover and continuance at some point where both purges were moving side by side, an incredible twin-river to experience, being the boat in between their roaring rapids while being held there ‘centrally held in place’ by their opposite streams of direction!

The tensions of the purge were immense, so deep and far reaching, primordial sounds and other worldly explosions of ferocious resistance as the Hound Masters of Hell were being drug out of me: I saw a city of evil rise up (organically having just sprouted and grown into a big city) and purged it, purging a city, a Kingdom of Evil! Throughout the night I’d take four showers, as the ghosts kept coming…


Venus Fly-trap


Tonight, about midway through the purge, as I lay in bed, I had thoughts to call Isis to me, for company: Suddenly Yage would say/suggest that at this point in the purge that I was a ‘Death-trap’ a ‘Venus Flytrap’ and to not call anyone into ‘this.’ I steadied my inner state (holding my space) and waited, riding the purge deeper and deeper…

From an inner looking point of view, my angelic consciousness separated from this ‘body terrain’ and could indeed discern something laying in wait; purging these creatures was immensely exhausting, my body’s throat and sides were sore for a few days after this night…

‘These’ that I sensed were waiting had no specific thoughts/targets ‘in mind,’ simply, that the closest feeling I have right now is that they were being perceived also by The Medicine, i.e., feeling the light of the medicine’s hot lamp beaming, asking God’s final question before the Cosmic Eviction Notice and Boot, “Are you Loving Me?”

There was a definite conscious connection with my conscience in sensing where the purge-mind was, while it worked and writhed under the Grand Rule of the plant spirits… I am a child of God and my nurses are these Gaia-spirits!


Angelic Compass


The next subject was an incredible revelation: As I lay in bed trying to rest from the step-sister purge, I began to get pictures of bones buried in soil, screams, deep guttural cries, shame, rage, fitful cosmic enslavement in petrified anger pounding, an awesome sensation of grief and utterly confusing… A voice said, “A murder by suffocation in cellophane.” Soon this image, the Time-video of the event, showed itself, a man suffocating a young girl in cellophane, this young girl had been me at another lifetime; my angelic awareness awoke, as I stared at this Celestial Portrait of immense, unfathomable rage…


A Family To Breathe Into


Soon it would be revealed that a whole family had/where stuck in a derelict haunted house of hell over this event of murder (the family of the murderer); I purged an Evil Grandmother, mad family members, possibly the criminally insane and I purged my death-body as well (an intuition now).

I entered the House, witnessed the filth, the dirty bodies of these ghosts; these people were awesomely saturated with evil preoccupation, chewing the cud of this past deed for possibly what amounted to an eternity-consciousness of experiencing…

I dove deep into their catacombs, pulling them out and embracing their bones, kissing them, caressing, pouring love, tenderness and the waters of my Galactic Heart Patience into them…

The struggle to transform their resistance and disbelief in my love and care was Cosmic! There was at least once where all of this took itself to Outer Space for a part of the transmutation… [Throughout the night I would also pull things from my fingertips and head, wires and claws, shrapnel.]

I gathered the family together to cuddle against me as I covered them with my left wing… There was also a point late in the morning (this was an All-nighter, all the way up to going to the river at 6-7AM) where I did a kind of angelic clearing of my ‘central axis’ with the tips of my wings: I also used the Ruby Ray and God Ray to sooth and move energies and material in my stomach/intestines…

At one point I experienced the aspect of the Rose Ray; at first my thoughts went to the feeling that I was doing this, though I soon intuited that T. (Isis) was with me performing a procedure, she would do this at least 2-3 times… She would also eventually lay with me, beneath my wing…


The Man


Prior to the family laying next to me, I was given the man who had killed me, he was depicted as a piece of feces: I kissed ‘him,’ planted seeds inside him and these grew, I held him tight as the shape soon turned into a beautiful, healthy, clean young man: He was reluctant at first, I invited him to me, I offered (and he took) a piece of my heart to eat, I also gave him all my aspects of dignity, strength, resolve, etc.


I Forgive


The purge continued as more and more misc. tag-along evil entities and creatures surfaced: As I lay in bed, waiting for the next round of exits, suddenly, as I was deep down in the pulse of my existence, the phrase rose up, “I forgive you.”

Suddenly all dissolved; the Haunted House showed itself as brand new, its basement being beset floor to ceiling with white tiles and all the house’s secret spaces were clean, even a secret room under the stairs contained a fresh glass of water with a flower in it… These small glasses were positioned throughout the house…

During this rising sun of ‘I Forgive You,’ there was a voice constantly reminding me (very over and over again) to not wonder if it is really over and if ‘all’ is really clean, to “Revel in your forgiveness, Revel in your forgiveness.”

So, with this, I laid in my bed for long moments, sunk deep, a blank-love girth resonating awe and wonder at the immeasurableness of Forgiveness’s ability to hold IT ALL and breath gold dust into rotten bones, imbuing them with millions of tiny smiley faces…

Looking at the light of my headlamp, while this Holy State of Being sunk into every fiber of my being: Every cell of me is forgiveness!


Bless Hell


I found myself having journeyed to the subterranean shelf overlooking Hell… As I lay on this vast dark slab of rock I saw the awesome expanse of Hades miles below: I manifested the Blazing Eye of the Virgin Mary, waving it out over this endless cavern, forgiving it all, a Galactic event!


God’s Eagle


Soon I was back (my presence in the body laying in bed) and looking at the family gathered together again smiling, looking at me expectantly from the spirit dimension. I went into a long dialog as to what I would/wanted to build for them in their dimension, i.e., tree houses, beautiful mazes where you never get lost, a mansion with healthy, gracious servants, waterfalls of rainbow water, so gentle that you could safely place a baby beneath it, soft green grass, pools of fish, gardens, etc. Blessing them with a magnitude of forgiveness unknown in me until now…

Suddenly a voice said, “You are the omni-directional object of forgiveness.” And a shape like a tall pyramid showed up and my consciousness embodied this: Soon would arrive, welding itself to my chest, The Breastplate of God’s Eagle, while starfish would attach themselves front and back, side to side and top to bottom to my skull so to ‘protect my mind.’

God poured, filling me with Tiger’s Eye (the semi-precious stone); then an odd gemstone formed, a ruby fused to an opal, I believe this represented ‘Gentleness’ (possibly Patience), though I cannot pinpoint it for sure… I believe this took place in my head as the third gem to be seated there (?)

A voice told me to serve the Prison system, that I was being vested with the power to hear confessions and to absolve others of their sins… Earlier in the night, in the midst of the purging, I would be told that I was now a Benedictine Monk…

God reminded me of my angelic divinity several times throughout the night… In this eve I used my God Hands, the Black Egg, the Eyes of Christ, the Green Cobra and Bear Totem (eyes?).


No One is Ugly


Suddenly in the midst of these offerings to me, a most Holy event occurred, my hand involuntarily went to my eye, and one by one removed a sort of Etheric lens or cataract from both; I was then told, “No one is ugly” and there was born in me an awesome capacity to see and feel so deeply behold the layers of physical/flesh expression, to make out the jewel inside the chunk of coal and the lotus seed in the swamp beneath all expressions of appearance…

Another symbol would present itself, a four leaf clover; this would be imprinted on my World Mind… I do not recall the aspect/definition connected to it, though sense it was ‘Acceptance.’


Black Love


Tonight an amazing object descended upon me; I was told that I was being endowed with ‘Black Love’ and was to be the Keeper of this ‘tool.’ It was in the shape of a long rectangular upright box having two pyramidal terminations, like a Tibetan double-terminated crystal… I sensed that it was hallow, ether filled, so, so light, ultra thin panels of black glass-ish material. I was instructed that this would allow me to access the deepest of subtle levels… I believe this was connected to receiving confessions and absolving sins so far as intuiting a person’s ‘layers.’

Note: A note about being filled with Black Rubies; either a carry over from C.32 or being a repeat procedure in this night’s events (?)


Holy Envelope


Soon, I found my left hand involuntarily opening up my etheric body, like a long flap of a rectangular-ish flesh-envelope; once open, the family I had liberated crawled inside me: I was told that they were now in Holy Hibernation within me…

I was told to name my healing occupation, ‘Temple of the Christ Heart.’

Appreciation of others, no looking back, no self reflections, all peering heart knowing…

There was a section of my brain that showed itself as problematic, somewhat stale and just ‘hanging on.’ I asked God to take it and he did: I also experienced my tongue frying in a pan; an astral purge of karma (?)

I was wrapped all over with Red Coral rings for protection, though do not recall the context, simply an occurrence/vestment…


Mother-Son


This night I would have severe purges at the beginning, one in relation to companionship with the exchange of Dependence for Independence (this is what the purge transformed/switched in me, a very deep and haunting event, to have this mother-son template slowly pulled out from underneath me, to be left standing naked and considerably alone, perched on myself and whistling an old sense of a song, though not anything discernable enough to calm just then.) This aspect of dependence was shown as a corruption of ‘That we are all one.’


So Beneath You


Another miraculous change tonight was that my consciousness deepened in its ability to Fall in Love with what was/is ‘beneath the skin,’ i.e., the inner maiden beneath all body shapes, conditions and psychological expressions… I experienced this while looking into my own body and it was here that my love for Isis (T.) took an incredible, transformative turn and deepened into a slow, Holy service of growth, carefulness and Galactic patience! The can be no fascination in this kind of service…


Share The Love


Another awesome message and stern correcting/adjustment from Yage was that I needed to share my new love of Isis to/with my family: Yage revealed the dangerous rift that needs to be sown together early on: She requested that I write my father a letter (I intuited that it was to be a separate letter, instead of a family-address.) I will also write him and my mother a letter, addressing it to my whole family.

My love is clearer now: I also made an incredible conscious connection to what my Heart wants as if it were a separate planet in my conscious-cosmos!

Deep into the most awesome purge to date one thing shone through, the Most High and Grand Acknowledgment that my most precious possession is my Love, my Heart and my giving this outwards to the world! It was one of the most magnificent bursts of service-revelations! (This may have been prior to the Christ Heart temple manifestation.)


Prince To Be


I recall my Spirit-son (the one to be born on Earth) thanking me for this gesture of purging: I was also told that it would help all of my family since this material had been passed down through my family ‘Trees.’ (Yage did not use the word ‘trees,’ though I sense that this material was a shared karma between both families… No literal specifics about this came through The Zone.


Leave People Alone, Be Yourself First


At around 3:30-4:00PM later in the purge-daytime, I was experiencing messages that there was something dead in my stomach and getting glimpses of Hades aesthetics flashing through my mind’s eye; also something was seemingly trying to feed on my Sex Chakra: Ayahuasca spoke to me, saying, ‘Go to the river.’

On my way I dry heaved a little at the banks of the river and then went for three long submerges; Aya told me that the evils were washing away, that I am a child, innocent, etc.

Soon I went to lay down in the sun in front of the Main House, massaging and breathing from my stomach, facing the sun direct (Plus a full kneeling and kissing the ground on my way back to the Main House from the river).

While the masses of tensions were releasing a voice came to me and said, “Revel in your forgiveness.” Also it would later tell me as I massaged deep into my small intestines to, “Leave people alone.” to “Be Yourself.”

I could feel my happiness and the residue of aggravations leaving: It feels like an additional re-birth today! That I am a gentle man, no thirst, Love is not thirsty, Love is endearing and asks the deepest of questions with its eyes wide open upon itself before making Love.


Notes


The chimes of the undisclosed!

The Holy aspect of Appreciation.

Using Snowflake-medicine to sooth my stomach.

The awesome holy endurance; multitudes of kneeling, supplications to God’s Holy Matrix-kingdom of Earth-ethereal existence at its holiest.

Playing Bob Marley while/during several of the purges via the Ipod: The song ‘I like it like this’ and feeling that Mother Ayahuasca was singing this through his music, i.e., delivering ‘her message’ through his byway… Finally the exuding electricity coming from my fingers took out the Ipod!

I forgive you because it makes me happy.

Throughout this experience tonight I would manifest the Virgin Mary sign and call up the Green Cobra and Tiger protection-gestures.

I was told to no longer touch insects, to leave them alone…

I may have purged some of L’s (my friend in CA) material too this night. Through one part of the evening I professed my love and Holy acceptance of her… A profound event between myself and this God-sister!

It seems that the premonition from C.32 that I would walk in the Valley of Death during the next ceremony was right.

At one point in the C.H. I was strongly called to take a shower and sensed that the ceremony was over: I went to leave and Luco asked me to stay; about 15-20 minutes into the beginning of my purge he called out my name, saying, “Michael, shower.” I exited…

I was told by Yage that I had cleared out all material, that there were no more dark corners, etc. (Though as in relation to what ‘now?’)

Reveling in my Forgiveness, washing my body tonight with God’s Bar of Soap: I love you You.

The moment of looking at my bare body, sensing its depth, its majestic and quiet longing to be with me: making the companion-connection to it…

As I wrote in my journal ‘this,’ I could also feel an energetic release occurring as it flowed out of me and onto the page of God’s Divine Matrix.

‘My heart!, My heart!’ I called out, whispering, soft-desperately yearning to Me, ‘This is all I have, my heart, my heart, this is it!’

Tonight a spirit came to me, manifesting as a double-headed wolf; I explained to the Little Boy in me (or The Man who I was liberating) that this is a good being…

Ceremony 32

November 19, 2009

Suckling at God’s ankle nectar.



God, allow the strength to flow through the paving of this pen’s most Holy and High patience with the flesh perusal of your manifest blessings so to record my final birth and resting place at your multi-fold chest-palette…

This ceremony was dedicated solely to T.: Luco poured me a half cup. Upon drinking, the signal that the Sanango was going to be very potent rung deep… Within 20 minutes I was saturated with the astral door’s welcome… I was told that I would receive a walking stick and a top hat this evening; also, that tonight would be Part 2 from last night’s time in the Love-rite with Yage.


Golden Skeleton Perfume


Diving deep, the catacombs of Love burst open, swallowing my endearments whole, lighting my resolute joy, hailing me, celebrating that, as I was tempted by the flesh via ‘Yage-apprenticeship circumstances’ several weeks ago, I succeeded in going beyond this temptation, as Yage commented, “Like you always do.” Tonight I sent ten healing spheres to Jamie, Jeff and Luco, giving out thanks to my father, mother, step-mother and step-brother, Luco, Aya, et all.

I was told that these shamanic transformations (the purge, revelations, shamanic/wisdom acquisitions, etc.) were effecting my entire family generation (manifest and un-manifest); visions and ‘communications’ from my Grandmothers (Grandma Sue and Eakin) came to me, wordless, though emotionally rich with ‘meaning,’ depth of pride, joy, celebration and dance…

A repeat/reminder/continuation of its use (?) i.e., receiving God’s Bar of Soap, for healing… The intuition/message was that I could invest any bar of soap to become this modality of shamanic cleanse… I was told to keep this in my right pocket…


Lover Doubt


I went to the restroom 2-3 times; purging ‘Doubt’ was one of the main Purge-themes tonight; my crystal clear presence staring out at the floor of my body enduring beautifully… Soon I would experience deep heaves and vomiting, allot of belching and producing a little material from my stomach… Yage told me that I was purging for T., that, although she (Yage) told me I was finished with vomiting and big purges, she did not say that I’d not purge for others that I bring into the Ceremony to heal… She reminded me, “This is why I told you to be careful of who you bring to the Ceremony to heal.”

Allot of rinsing out of my mouth with water… As I finished one bout of vomiting I said, “I love you T.” After the second I said, “I still love you T.” The deep connection to purging this material for her was vastly calm, Holy patient and so, so softly a great graciousness to do this for her; my heart dove deep into this ritual of conscious suffering for another!

Yage would come to me and reveal herself, embodying me fully, an immense event! She told me that she was the thunder, the clouds, all, all… I sensed that she was expressing her ultimate rule of the body-sheath of Earth, i.e., those aspects she has in this Earth Realm through the Body of the Medicine… I vaguely recall how she manifested this to me (and it’s awkward to try and write it out in words). Yage tonight: Lightning bolts, electric hair, a giant alien-ish body, dark, a reptilian goddess and a throne somewhere nearby too… She told me that we were merged for eternity and that my blood was her blood.


Galactically careful with Choice


I found myself standing in another dimension with Celestial children, teenagers, etc., standing around me; they told me that they depended on me, that they lived by my Holy acquisition of Choice… The intuition to be careful, so Galactically careful with Choice was bottomless-ly immense, the depth!, more ancient than Age, the possession of this role of Chooser… This episode was linked (I believe) to my call and decision to move to T. as soon as possible…

The Shipibo designs were immense, my vision sensitive, the Sanango was fire dancing through me!

At one point, I believe it was God who poured Black Rubies into me, filling me…

Soon the Walking Stick revealed itself as an actual giant insect-walking stick and the Top Hat was presented as a Black Crane who had willingly shape-changed to form this… I was not told what these were for.

My smile broadened throughout the night, especially at the news of Part 2 from Yage…

Luco was without a Chicapa tonight, so the Ceremony was oftentimes deeply-boldly silent as his gentle voice moved around the room…

[While writing this in my journal, the lantern glass just fell off and broke, a beautiful icon to be at this desk! The un-contained flame writing this account!]


Night Knight


Suddenly I found myself face to face with Night, she had come to love me all over! I remember so! Her body was long, a giant lion-like torso; its underside was covered with hanging bats, thousands! While upon her back was a burning white or transparent cape/field of fire: I do not recall getting a full picture of her…

I was told that her speech/mind operated in the aspect of Whispers, that all whispers contained her essence… She loved me deeply, off and on throughout the night… As I write I recall that she manifested as a fox at one point; too, that when my mind was distracted momentarily she shied away, becoming ‘turned off,’ I begged and moaned myself for her to return, she said, “I will, but on my terms, my way...”

Note: That Night communicates in whispers… Her mind is made up of all the whispers of the world, the quietnesses… That she is ultimately connected to being quiet… I sense that Night endowed me with something though do not recall what specifically (?) Drinking her blood may have inoculated me from… (?)

Oh, and the return, the ecstatic embrace and I her lollipop! I was filled with her essence and she served me her blood to drink to soothe me after the initial purges/vomiting (I was still in the C.H. at this stage). Throughout this exhausting night she’d request that I rise up and kiss the fabric of her dress, surrendering multi-fold (while in my bed).

I believe that moss also may have played a part in her body’s décor. (?)

Also, throughout the night I’d put in and take out several times (3-4) the Eyes of Christ while dark energies tried to penetrate my field, both from T.’s partner and others…

At one point Yage asked me to get inside the Holy Black Egg and said that Night was one who could also be in there with me, so I lay in the egg with Night as Sanango flowed through my astral circuits, looking, whispering, etc.

Night’s majesty was so soft, gentle, the essence of old, yet glimmeringly fresh, ripe, quiet, unbound and so giving! I believe it was Night who would also join me later in bed and ask me to open my mouth as she poured from her sex the waters of The Holy Swamp, filling me to overflowing, as its contents swam and wiggled throughout my inside cosmic fields, running out, gurgling over my cheeks and jaws…

Note: I was inoculated by a spirit this night; this may have been the result of Night’s swamp pouring into me (?)


Holy Page Turning


The transition from the C.H. to the Main House is vague; I recall Yage demanding that I come to her, and though she had mentioned several times the subject of my taking a shower, changed her mind, waiting till deep into the night for this (between 2:30 and 3:30).

Throughout the evening many of the spirits would have me get into prayer-act, the Holy Beggar Position (kneeling and my hands in the position of an empty bowl sitting on my lap.) Repeat?, being titled, ‘The Holy Beggar.’

I pulled several ‘contaminate strings’ out of me this night (3), turning them into smiles and sending them on their way with Love and Forgiveness-Fulfillment blessings.

While sending the spheres of healing to those drinking this night, Yage asked me to send, “Tens of thousands” to her and I did this with the brief activation of my Second Chakra waves via my solar plexus ‘pulses.’

Several times through the night my left hand would posses the guardianship-claw-pose of the Tiger or Jaguar while my right hand’s fingers took on the curled, double-fang-position of the Cobra (The Black Cobra).

Early on I called in the Black Falcon, Bear Totem, Hawk, Owl and Octopus in my stomach to assist me, to settle in and be my watchers… Night would stay near me throughout, visiting me lovingly 3-4 times…


Green Welcome


Soon something very amazing occurred, a voice told me that my spine would be a/the Green Cobra; I could feel it moving from my root chakra upwards, rolling, surging its thick massiveness upwards… Soon it made it to the back of my head and bit the inside of my throat! It possessed my vision field, hovering around my head, fanning its oval headdress… It (a voice) told me that I would have Green Cobra Eyes permanently, that these did not come out (some kind of astral lens?)


Red Welcome


On this night I’d receive a pet, a baby Red Dragon that I vaguely recall being asked to keep in my left pocket, opposite to God’s Bar of Soap. I would also be plugged into a vast conduit, entering the side (horizontally) of my esophagus… This surging reverse vacuum revealed itself as being the inception of a furtherance of Dragon Breath through my throat and mouth [No longer exclusive to the nostrils.] (I believe this was specified as Red Dragon Breath.) I experienced the sharp sounds of hissing and growls, hot breath and fire gargles!


Elves and a Giant


I would experience showing up in a forest, laying on the floor of it, being attended to by elves, they were taking out my intestines, wringing then, tearing and splicing them back together, squeezing out the contents: Very busy, soft and visually-visceral-amazing! This went on for some time, possibly up to five minutes.

At one place tonight my head felt so worrisome that the Headless Giant (a tree spirit) would briefly possess me to bring calm: The galactic Bear Totem Guardian would also lay its big paws on me… The manifestation of the Black Falcon was awesome, as usual, so magnificently assured!


Completely Clean


Soon I would visit the Main House, still thoroughly deep in the astral realm… Here is where Yage would take further hold, changing her mind about the shower timing and send me to lay down, plus, to first search out for my Ipod… Soon I was laying down, being soothed by Night and Yage. My experiences in my room/bed were immense, so, these accounts may not be in total order…

As I lay much would be presented to me prior to the night’s and my life’s most awesome revelation to date… A category of ‘final revelation.’

Prior to the final revelation; here is where T. also showed up, deep, deep sensual dances!


God Gifts


God presented me with his Green Gardeners Gloves with smiley faces… I do not recall their specifics…

Another physical operation/implant of sorts was the acquisition of God’s Ear: This was on my left side, where it was revealed to me that I’d be able to transform others suffering by listening to their stories, confessions, etc. [This rings so true to a fundamental thread of soul-intuition habit throughout my life.]

I received God’s Hands, a deeper level of Healing Touch and vehicle for the deliverance of messages from him to others: On this night God would have me ‘triple promise’ to Yage and him that I’d deliver his message to a crippled man in the village; the content I received was, “I know your secrets.” [I did this today, after walking back from the Internet Café; I stepped to the doorway and found the man laying down on the floor asleep along with another man asleep in a chair nearer the door… I said, ‘Olah,’ though they did not wake… God told me, “Deliver it now.” I held out my right hand and sent the message to the crippled man: God thanked me and I went on my way.]

I recall experiencing, while receiving God’s Hands, the embodiment of God’s actual hand as my right hand laying/held upon my left wrist…

I would also receive the Hands of King James, though no specifics as to what these were ‘about.’


Teeth beneath the Moon


Soon, it was revealed to me that I would be endowed with an ability that I’ve never heard of, i.e., the craft of ‘Ethereal Tattooing,’ tattooing the astral body for empowerment, healing and protection: Soon I found my two forefingers involuntarily going slightly behind my eyes and pressing hard against my skull-socket bones… I was being endowed with the ability to intuit/inner-vision a person’s individual design, to first draw it on paper, then possibly in Henna upon their body (?) The method of application was vague… After this an awesome visit occurred; suddenly a Tyrannosaurus Rex came on the scene; I was told that it would be the/my Guardian of this Sacred Craft… Holy Hot Flashy Seductive Whispers!


The Fossil Collector


Doubt continued to purge through deep yawns and 2-3 visits to the bathroom in the Main House… Soon I would be reveling in the birth of Courage and ‘I Will.’ I devoted myself wholeheartedly again tonight (deeper though) to getting to T. as soon as possible and promised the Spirits, Plant teachers, Yage and God that I would put this into actuality…

A vast field of action-potential opened up as I suddenly experienced my heart connecting with my Presence of Action and Lifestyle; now in full power of knowing what my heart wants and not those worries of the Fossil Collector Mind.


Son of God


A voice came to me; I received Jesus into my heart, a bright vast golden honey light pouring like a solar blast into me… Soon afterward the voice said that I was being presented the highest Galactic Honor, that of being a Son of God. (This took place while I was in bed.) [It may have been that I received the God-tokens/abilities after this honor was bestowed.] So Grateful, so Happy.

While at the Son of God phase, Jesus would tell me that he was never crucified, that it was an impersonator who was, and that impersonation was a sin…

As a Son of God: Laying, opening, blazing with fumed fire, a voice told me that I was now part of the Clan of the White Skinned… The sense was that this literally meant pure white skin, having nothing to do with race, being far beyond Earthbound semblances of Galactic realities… There were no details as to its ‘meaning’ or ‘function’ that I recall…


Osiris-Isis rising


T., her presence in me, the all-atmosphere, my connection to her, etc., was thick in the air. The subject of Osiris suddenly opened in me; I experienced myself as Osiris incarnate and knew (was told from a Galactic distance) that ‘I am Osiris:’ The subject of Osiris with an erection leapt-flashed into my consciousness as the Great and Awesome procreation of Death… This is my sense of it now, i.e., in words…

Isis (T.) showed up in front of me; a kind of Galactic-electronic clap occurred and a voice said, “Osiris and Isis are wed.” or “You are wed, Osiris and Isis.” This was immense, beyond describing here, an electronic field of wonder and mortal-bone-evaporation-good-awe! Throughout the night my central nervous system took a beating, my head quivered, tensed and deeply surged with electricity!


Holy Web-knight


Soon, a Holy Tarantula would show up and bite me: The location is vague, though I believe it was on the inside of my pelvis, i.e., at the pubic bone. I was asked to go into the Holy Beggar position afterward…

And, so lovingly between us (a divine prompting of my space of excitement and slight slumber) Night would constantly show up requesting that I kiss her dress-fabric…


Angel


As I lay, baking in the bestowing of the Son of God realm, my courage surged, all doubt disappeared: I believe it was while I was in my room tonight that I also burst out again in the Graveyard as a rainbow entity (?)

Further into this realm-state something peeled away from my eyes, a vast, so, so calm revelation began to descend upon me, of an angelic lineage, a huge whiteness of feathers seemed to hover above me as a voice revealed ever so gently that I was Arch-angel Michael incarnate… My eyes flicked and focused in a way that I’ve never experienced before, this dawned is such slow, patient burning stages!

At one point as I lay surrendered to the inflow of Galactic stories, visits and bestowals, I offered my flesh-body to a pack of Spirit Tigers/Lions to eat; as they devoured it, I would regenerate more spirit-flesh till they were all satisfied…

Soon vestments came, an ethereal tattoo of the Bible opened to its King James-section showed up on my back, i.e., at the topmost portion: A voice told me that I could have a tattoo of it there and to incorporate the preexisting triangle.

I experienced the Eyes of God as a kind of permanent lens… My two-handed long/broad sword showed up as I left the Earth and appeared, embodying a Galactic pair of arms holding the sword upwards, beaming with lightning, cosmic fire, while the blade was ‘woven/interwoven’ into/inside some sort of geometric sign, a kind of pentagram, though much more complex: I would later describe (intuitively in a letter to T.) the sword as, “The Sword of Seraphim Math” and while not really ‘knowing’ what this means…

I was told that I had no sheath for this sword, that it had wings and was perched on my shoulder vertically.

God spoke and presented me with a pair of heavyweight, winged gloves, saying that these were for the exorcism of the Largest of Demons… I was to store (and did) these in my crown chakra.

Soon an immense event descended on me, the landing and integration into my head of the Double-Headed Eagle of God… No details of its context issued… Majestic surrender and gripping, utter obedience to no words…

I traveled deep into Galactic Space and witnessed God’s beauty standing, most Giant of giants, so, so tall, never ending God-head disappearing clarity of where the rest of him was, into the canopy of Galactic Space… Upon this so, so unfathomable size of him were angels, pure white angels, side by side, top to bottom, like a totem of white moths covering a giant two-truncated tree…

These angels had their wings slightly out, overlapping one another’s, so, no underneath-space of God’s surface could be perceived, he was covered with a textile of woven angels all the way around and as far as my eyes could see. Soon the epiphany came to join them; it was here that I suckled upon God as they all were feeding on his omnipresent nectar-body…

Note: At the beginning (angelic-birth-revelation), the sensation of slowly unfolding my vast wings: Bursting out softly. (Write more about the state of after-hatching while laying on the mat via the C.H.) The cat not entirely registering my new presence-field initially… The going back for the jaguar skull later in the morning.


Two Galaxies of We


Isis (T.) was so near, staying with me throughout the night; my enfolding her into my Galactically broad breast of white feathers and her angelic presence manifesting suddenly as a great white Snow Owl: It was here that her magnificence was so great that I astrally passed out, envisioning it in my consciousness’s eyes, a passed out angel!, sprawled out at this great majestic heart feast, her.


A Point


Soon my consciousness would visit Deep Space: There I took on the body of a vertical Galaxy as Isis approached me as one of her own, we merged: I believe it was here that I was told that I’d experience the final opening of my third eye…

As all began to dissolve, my whole history going backwards, from adulthood, teens, child, fetus, idea, to a point in Space and The Point slowly opened, like two eyelids to reveal a drowsy galaxy inside…


Halt Hand Door


It was here that I received the story of the Angel’s fall from God’s Grace: That in God’s House there is a room that is off limits explicitly to all, though it has no locks… The door is made as a large hand in the gesture of ‘Halt!’ or ‘Stop.’ It was Lucifer who opened this door and went in, falling…


Burn it all


God came to me, giving me a choice, I answered, “Burn it all., Burn it all.” Suddenly my head went into an ecstatic deep convulsing, as I witnessed all of my human incarnation history, its psychic importance, weight, reasoning, hooks, etc., disappearing in the flipping lightning speed of God’s flame…

Burning it all: Afterward I exchanged my human mind for World Mind. God said that my mind was officially ‘blown.’ I experienced the Birth to Follow His Will, my heart, directions…

Also, I performed a deep and final Galactic cleanse of my Second Chakra (and possibly root chakra too) using my right and left index fingers pressed deep into my pubic/pelvis area, though it was the right forefinger that produced the Ruby Ray that was pouring its energy in, leeching out all else.

I knelt to the Holy White Vagina and received its milk in my cupped palms; drinking this, there suddenly appeared in my Mermaid Underwater Region a growing city, it looked to be a metropolis of ‘rounded at the top’ cylinders, slightly funnel shaped/elongated, like a sand-drip-castle, though smooth…

I reached out this night to T. in the U.S. and with my newly acquired Heavyweight Winged Gloves removed a demon-baby/child attached to her back. I also blocked and sent away dark-psychic investments from one of her acquaintances and from at least one of this night’s Main House guests…

The demon had the Hades aesthetic; it is amazingly consistent! I additionally did a healing for her partner, moving energies from his heart to his head and visa versa. I sent him cosmically deep well-wishes 3-4 times this night.

There was a point after the Burn it All process that my presence experienced the mind trying to read the writing in the ashes… Several times the Tiger and Cobra came out to send the fixation along its way and to dissolve it. Soon I found myself asking for it to rain and experienced the shower turning the legible ashen-pages to black slush.


Jaguar Medicine


I would go out to the Ceremony House afterward while still deep into my Angelic revelation: I found my cat and took him in the C.H. with me, laying down on a mat at the forefront of the Mesa (no one else was in the C.H.) where I had sit my jaguar skull for a blessing/energizing by Luco. This night it was confirmed that this skull was ‘for me,’ to never paint or wash it and that I could glue its teeth in.

On this night I was not allowed to touch it: It spoke to me concerning how close it wanted me to place my head in its vicinity, it also directed me to place crystals around it and to hold one to my forehead… It bestowed upon me its Jaguar Medicine, though did not specify what this was for.

As I placed the crystal to my forehead a sort of Galactic investment took place and I received the message that I was now able to heal with crystals… I briefly received a vision of a pair of gloves with crystals as the fingers, though no instruction or sense that these were being presented to me.

I was dove deeper and deeper into my angelic consciousness solidification, as the Jaguar instructed me to keep holding the quartz crystal prism/rock (a natural obelisk shape) in my hand.

It was then Celestially revealed to me that it was the Sacred Crystal Phallus of Osiris and that I was its keeper; vaguely I recall that it may be used as a shamanic tool though do not recall any specifics being revealed.

My cat suddenly sensed something in the C.H. and took off quickly to hide: It was truly scared! I walked around and found some kind of malevolent creature crouching near one of the Ceremony house posts and shooed it away with what I recall was a Flaming Heart with its tongue sticking out or one of the blazing golden Eyes of the Virgin Mary on my palm… The cat suddenly ran towards its exit point, standing and looking out at its departure.

Throughout the night I was prompted to burn my yawning purges with the Blazing Hearts with their tongues sticking out, embedded/manifesting in each of my palms.


Bleeding to Life for Love


At one point in the night (possibly after the Son of God endowment) I experienced a somewhat perplexing emotion, as I began to psychically bleed out from my crown chakra all of my body’s ‘blood:’ A voice told me that I was being leeched and my blood replaced. Here is where the inoculation-phase may have entered in (?) The context of this bloodletting was that it was a sort of crying-blood-celebration of my love and dedication to Isis (T.).


Experiences/Notes


I would also use my diamond hands to assist in the calming of my stomach.

Was told that tonight was the final cleanse of my bowels; (psychically, energetically, this night only?)

Informed that riches would come to me, that I was the fore bringer of God’s kingdom on Earth: That I was forever finished with this incarnation-series, or incarnation-wheel, process, etc.

I experienced reciting the Lord’s Prayer, though a slightly different version. Also a kind of clicking/humming began to an Icaro, though feel too that it was most likely being momentarily born from my Ipod’s muse, i.e., a shaman that I listen to the most.

Yage would not visit me sexually tonight; this night was exclusively ‘dedicated’ to Night and Isis.

The perception that all ‘templates’ (my particular human-habit programs) had been burned.

The Galactic intro./birth of Courage; the complete eradication of Doubt.

The Holy Promise that I will come to Isis.

I was told that Yage would love me like ‘this’ throughout all my ceremonies from now on… Making the choice to stay in the Medicine as an incarnate Arch-angel…

The snuggling with Isis: Her treatments of me all over… The deep Galactic Insatiable surrender: Eternal that-play.

Isis’s particular relating to me as my Angelic transformations smoldered and solidified…

The new ‘Intros’ that have come to me while addressing my friends in letters, particularly when writing their Holy-perceived-names.

Meeting with God’s Ruby Ray, mine to his: Being invested with the ability of the God Ray, though no specifics about this…

Today is already yesterday.

If you think Nothing is right, wait till you meet Something!

From C.31: A phrase came to me, “I could: With God’s Permission.” I intuited/was told that this was a Holy phrase, Most Holy and to share and guard its use in me.

Integration of the Side Winder Serpent in my left arm and another ‘totem’ to my right (?)

Tonight, while I was in the Holy Beggar pose, flowers were put in my bowl and they grew! Beautiful…

Telling Luco that I loved him and Jeff that I will miss him and that he is deep in my heart at the beginning ceremony hour.

Sensing/being ‘poetically’ caught in God’s barbed-wire fence like a haphazard, near sighted, love-drunk lover. (Something that occurred to me coming back from the market the next day.)

The note about the consumption of the sexual seed.

The astral lovemaking was the most intense yet via Isis! Envisioning her as a plump filled satiated love-mosquito/fairy-insect-like being… So otherworldly gorgeously endearing!

During the Arch-angel section: God mentioning that I am among his favorites…

While in the jaws of a Jaguar or Snake, being consumed, then inside its body, digested, pooped out and I AM. (Possibly a C.31 overlay-event recording itself here.)

Early on, while in the early stages of being in my bed after Ceremony, I experienced myself as a griffin-fledgling.

Repeat; to link with a previous ceremony? There was an aspect that introduced itself (possibly the cell-bars-mask?) that was said to protect me from all Oriental black magic,
specifically oriental…

I pronounced T.’s new name throughout the night/morning… Conjuring, yearning…

God told me that bodybuilders have no psychological problems connected to their thirst/obsession with big muscles, that they are just trying to look like him.

During this night there was a foreshadowing that I may be walking in the Valley of Death next ceremony so to acquire information about someone (?) The Boots of Woven Wheat also came to my consciousness since these were endowed to me for walking in this valley…

Was told to work off my debts first and that money was coming.

Experiencing Isis as my Holy Golden Skeleton next to me.

Vision of mass healing of others…

Shortly after the Arch-angel revelation I was told that I was “Completely Clean” (interpretation?) Later in the night, also after the Final Revelation, Yage said, “You may go on with the medicine as you see fit.”

Feeling my heart-field/chest expanding: Throwing out my old metal rib cages.

Dancing to Bob Marley and being told that he was the Goddess of Love incarnate… The sense to purchase all of Depeche Mode’s works. A vague feeling that was also given to me concerning Bob Marley’s status was that there are many ‘goddesses’ of love, like a clan or guild, i.e., that he was one of many, though an equally strong sense was that he was ‘It.’ (?)

A message to a visitor named ‘Jamie’ from Yage was that the marijuana spirit is not malevolent or dangerous, that it is only as ‘dangerous’ as the person is, that it is a sort of magnet, attracting to the surface what is already there, to be healed, seen, revealed to the Healing Arts. My sense from Yage’s conversations was that it could be used as a Shamanic Looking Glass, i.e., in conjunction to a Master Plant Teacher like her. (?)

Being at the Steps of Yage’s Throne!!

It is possible that Night was a great sized fox (all along), depicted as I earlier noted…

Sanango’s roots descending into me. My saying, ‘I love you Sanango.’

The deep connection that my consciousness has been many ‘coats of flesh,’ i.e., human, aquatic, alien, etc.

Briefly witnessing the ‘Feasting Ritual’ on a spider’s web/ mandala via the bathroom corner… I was very deep into the medicine and sensed/saw that I was experiencing a Holy dimension of its ‘catch/web,’ and could sense/see another design ‘inside’ the usual everyday one.

The request that I surround myself with crystals, so far as my daily lifestyle and home relics/décor.

Kissing the concrete floor in the C.H., kitchen and Dining Room.

The hand sign of the Virgin Mary: Two vertical hands, one positioned on top of the other, out and in turned top three fingers, i.e., slightly bent forwards. The top palm is facing out, while the bottom palm is facing in, showing its backside, and its fingers are close together, straight, with the middle finger touching the bottom middle of the top palm…

Breaking bread with God at the Dining Room table.

Playing the Cocteau Twins* tonight during our love-rituals;
most, most beautiful incantations this music!! *(Blue Bell Knoll)

The intuition that I’d be using the Medicine to facilitate astral immersion, building, etc.

While in the C.H. as the angelic consciousness was emerging, experiencing panes of Celestial ‘glass’ lowering around me as a sort of Protective Incubation Chamber!

Feeling that I am ever-hatching, though I am outside the egg… Quiet Deliverance.

Just found a perfect picture of Arch-angel Michael; I’ve never seen this and can hardly believe that it has my Galactic Guardian Totem on it, ummmm!