Ceremony 8

September 13, 2009


Heart Field


It was during this ceremony that a very famous head shaman at a nearby Ayahuasca Retreat named Alberto, Luco’s teacher. To have them both singing, whistling and performing with the leaf fans was wordless and filled with such immense togetherness. Luco’s son also participated
and sang. What I recall most was Alberto’s awesome whistling, like a spirit train through the snow packed tracks of the heart.

The Sanango was again, very strong with me, allot of electrical surges, quivering and what felt like a kind of cleaning or bolstering up of my nervous center(s).

There was a point where I was laying down, experiencing brief visions of dark images and energies trying to enter into my consciousness; I began to clear these away by making gestures with my hands and arms, then something unusual occurred, that I envisioned laying over me first a blanket of abstract red hearts and secondly a 20’ x 20’ foot field or dome of red beating hearts… Many of the gestures I was making on this night reminded me of Indian dance gestures.

At some point early on in the ceremony I witnessed bluish crystal traveling from a central place in the heavens, falling into me; eventually this evolved into seeing them growing in me, protruding from the inner fleshes of me (amethyst and rose colored crystals.)

In another stage a voice came to me and said that I was now a servant of god. I described this as ‘being initiated and called.’

I massaging of my heart.
The sending of positive energies towards my parents.

A young woman in the group named Taylor was having a very difficult night, I sent healing energies towards her, envisioning a packet of armor and weaponry for her ‘cause/struggle.’

The Shipibo designs were prevalent in this ceremony too, a patterned mesh/canvas that covered all that I saw.

A message came to me, saying “We are going to teach you, but on our terms.”

The sense of humility and surrender as a child and not a project-oriented-adult. The existing outside the dualistic nature.

Sensing my joy-presence as my centering/being point throughout the process of Yage. Lots of long yawns, i.e., elimination through yawns. Experienced a few dry heave expulsions too. Massaging my body. Cold upper body. Sanango working into the night, deep and extensive. I felt a resonance with this plant-spirit.

Many, many long smiles.

A thought arrived that there was a time that we recognized (re-acquiring of innocence) the world as ’firsts’, awe, etc. As [we-entered-nesses].

The application of maintained-joy towards shades-of-the-past. The breaking of the Sanango-light (Dieta #1) today.

Towards the end of the ceremony journey-time there’s a ‘space’ where you can remain ’in the yage zone’ while being conscious of this ordinary reality as well, this normally last 2-3 hours, during which time incredible conversations took place between myself and a young man named Howie; we’d lay in the hammocks in the main dining room and share life stories.

That early morning was the first of two or three conversations where I was taught a whole new way of listening to others.

The aspect of admiring another and what they have to say without my add-ons.

To listen to another without inner or outer commentary (to suspend belief in my reactive thoughts) and truly take it in as a holy Gift of Company.

I recall saying to Howie, after speaking about the possible publication of my book by a professor in North America, that my father was “my man” and “the man” in my life, I felt a deep resonance with the idea of serving his being-ness as a priority and how I have subconsciously served surrogate fathers throughout my life…

In the dawn I went to the river, along the way I smelled an incredible fragrance and stopped to spy its source: I was met by a tree with blossoms growing directly on its main branches (not the smaller tips). They were seemingly communicating to me… A quiet electrical pausing and impart. I felt as if I had the ‘right’ receptor, I would have heard clearly what it had to say.

Later in the day we visited the river and there were many children playing there; sitting in the river I felt a behind-the-scenes force moving about, as if I were being re-initiated into the Clan of Childhood via their looks, smiles, openness and my cleaned out inner spaces.

I got to hold my first parrot of the Amazon today during a volleyball game, later I’d hand it over to Liam as a gesture of connection and brotherhood/unconditional sharing. The look on his face when he said “I can hold it?” was priceless, truly beyond any foreseeable reward…

Today was also to first real moves towards buying 1/3 of a plot of land here that has an existing structure(s) on it that I will partially tear down, renovate and redesign for future visits.

A note: Taylor showed me a picture of her father; I covered one half of the picture with a business card, sharing the revealing of visual/emotional information that’s collected in the horizontal halves of the face, a quiet awe and beautiful sharing.

Very intense existence in the Yage-zone/field this time.