Ceremony 9

September 23, 2009


“Do something with the joy I have given you.”



This ceremony was less visual, nearly no Shipibo designs or multi-dimensional visits; although it was very significant in that Ayahuasca took this opportunity to quiet things down a bit, I believe particularly due to the very intense Sanango diet that we’ve had (As it still continues.) We also drank from the ‘tea’ that we brewed eleven days ago, which to me, being that it wasn’t kept cool, somehow lost its ’electricity’ (?)

The ceremony still worked, though in a different way: It was at times a deeply contemplative space where I was sitting in the lotus position (legs only), with my back intuitively going into a very straight posture, and my staring out into the darkness with one contemplation centered in my consciousness ~ The immensity of it all. It was as if there was a little piece of outer space inside the Ceremony House.

Yage also reminded me about apologies that I have yet to follow through with and other short comings. It was a good night to recall tying off loose psychic ends, recapping Remorse of Conscience subjects and visiting my newfound/rediscovered joy. At some point Yage said, “Do something with the joy I have given you.” This triggered a deeply profound recollection of how I have recently followed certain inclinations via my ego-patterns, i.e., being critical of another for speaking in absolutes and avoiding someone else who was being consistently pessimistic/doubtful concerning comments others would make, all aspects of an older self within me. Residue seems to float around in me, desiring to gather into a do-able rhythm by acquiring outside elements that match the reflection of itself it’s avoiding, while denying other people so to stay within a doubly trapped shadow image of Narcissus…

At one point I felt as though some sort of song was coming to me, though this morning I sense that it was simply my being deeply/intuitively moved by Luco’s icaros (Trying to connect a little through my own sounds.)

Flashbacks came to me of my visits to my Father’s, his showing me his train set and my very sobering response, his daily artifacts, and how silent Expectation is, (Like a predator hunting who is not really hungry.) how it walks around the heart spinning its web, encasing the lone drum beater in a cocoon of sloth. I expected allot of giving by giving very little myself; the ‘environment’ was in me and not due to ‘circumstances beyond our control’ only circumstances beyond our hearts and understanding, some sort of subconscious inequality or old inherited game of Father and Son battling it out in small acts that mount into a storm surge. It is interesting how we wait and when the other has trusted us enough to loan us $10,000 dollars, we give them $10 as a down payment… These reminders were just what I needed to go into the new ceremony sequence, which starts on Friday.

At one point in the ceremony I sent positive energies towards Liam who was experiencing a severe purging: this gesture was so brief, unassuming, almost automatic, as if it fell from me, or lifted off towards him, like a bird…

It was during this ceremony that I gave Luco a slip of paper with a friend’s name on it so to perform a distance healing. Later in the ceremony he began this ‘work’ (This was the first time that I’ve witnessed him doing this.) During this healing session I found myself cupping my hands in front of me and breathe-lifting my heart energy towards its bowled-void. It was as if by breath and gesture I was sponging a substance from my heart so to put ’it’ in the bowl and send it out to her… I felt that in some small way, I participated in her healing.

This morning I feel as though some sort of disdain has arisen in me, though this may just be my body talking since, with the Sanango dieta I have been pretty ’stopped up’ for nearly three days (Later in the day I would take a strong tea made from the yellow blossoms of the Retama tree, this did the ‘trick’.

This ceremony was the shortest one I’ve had though priceless in its ability to re-heart me, something that seemingly needs doing every day these days…

There was a moment in the ceremony where I envisaged and felt the intent of Ayahuasca placing a glowing red dot out in front of my forehead. It stayed there, hovering, never changing its position, faintly glowing; it was about the size of a marble.