Ceremony 31

November 17, 2009

Two suns French kissing



God, give me the strength and integrity to remember and record this visitor Bliss.


Unrooted Seeds


The evening started with a very focused aim to heal T.’s son A. and additionally (if it was permitted) her daughter; both who are having family difficulties… Luco poured me a half cup and within 5-10 minutes I felt the astral door fall open (No hinges tonight!) I soon moved to my mat: Yage instructed me to put in the Bear Totem Emerald Eyes… I do not recall hailing any other totems this night.

Yage told me at this beginning that tonight would consummate the final healing of my Second Chakra (sex chakra). I was also told that I’d meet the Dwarfs!

Soon I would find myself deep in Yage’s arms, so close! The breezes coming through the C.H. (ceremony house) screens were her breath… She would give me this night a garment called, “Mail of Eyes”, i.e., a kind of chainmail, though presumably with eyes instead of hollow, metallic links: I vaguely recall seeing it… I do remember its tiny details, the close ‘weaving’ of the links, that they were very small eyes, about the size of a human eye’s pupil…

She told me that there was no where to store it since I would have it on me forever; she continued to tell me that tonight consummated our union forever/eternally… The lushness and grace of her generosity and passion for me was sinking so deeply, softly molten beams of warm light showing through a now semi-transparent leaf, me…

At the early part of ceremony I sent healing spheres to Jamie, a visitor drinking the medicine with us; I also recall sending them to T.’s children, A. specifically: Yage would soon have me taking numerous trips to the restroom (3-4). On the third trip I was told that I was purging an evil seed that had been planted in her son and that I’d feel hundreds times better once this was out; the fourth trip was the final where a second seed, either from the son or the daughter was purged…

Throughout this experience I would be closely guarded by Yage to either ‘rinse my mouth out’ or ‘only swallow a sip…’ Tonight, it, the way I took in water, seemed slightly more crucial than usual…

Add-note to The Chainmail of Eyes: Yage would also tell me early on that I am protected forever by the ‘Chainmail of Eyes’ and her status inside me… Several times in the throes of the oncoming saturation of/by the Entity of Love, Yage would advise me to, ‘Hold my Space, center, breath, etc.’ While in ceremony there may have been a further unpacking of the gem-construction materials, throwing me into a series of inner-head convulsions and body contortions!


A granite-kiss-steaming Rainbow Lover


Yage also ran me through several promises that I had not fulfilled yet, one was a few messages to Taylor (that I delivered today, along with this ceremony’s notes for her too.) While the second was the agreement to go to the graveyard here in the village (Jenaro Herrera) and place a kiss on each tombstone…

Suddenly she (Yage) said emphatically, “You do not have to wait till tomorrow, you can go there now!” This perplexed a section of my physical proximity consciousness for a brief second, then I found myself bursting forth in the graveyard as an ultra-bright Love Rainbow radiating throughout this realm…

The contrast was awesome, the dark browns and somber earth-tones, the stillness/ruminating energies in and around this spontaneous rainbow consciousness birth in the graveyard of my I AM: For a brief time my ecstasy expressed its limitless love and desire, as I perceived making love to skeletons! The inner bliss and divinity of this ritual was other worldly, not belonging to any category of human thought/expression, it was as if I were some kind of tuning fork of God being rung out in this graveyard needing Love unabashed, unhinged and licking its prison door like a disappearing lollipop!

I also gave thanks to Ayahuasca, Luco, Meghan and all my friends and forgave those who have hurt me, several times throughout Ceremony and in the M.H. Yage had me triple-promise to go back through all of my Ceremony Records via the Blog-postings and to “Remember your gifts.” I made this three kiss promise-pact…

Notes: I am the web the Spider of Love has weaved with its silk!

The Blazing Heart of Love medicine was said to be stored in my fingertips: I experienced these upon all ten.

I had the metaphor-experience of myself as the Worm of Love in Adam and Eve’s apple.


Angel of angels


Suddenly I sensed the presence of something ‘too awesome’ arriving; taking the Black Egg out of my left eyebrow, I lay inside it as this beingness landed on the Ceremony House roof, a great Prehistoric/Alien flying being who seemed to possess geometric qualities as well (crystalline and flesh?), the/an Angel of angels, so wrought with other world mystery that Yage seemed to intuit to me to find psychic/soul shelter!

Clinging to the C.H. roof, it was looking around for something and I sensed that it was not finding it; I radiated towards it vast waves of Love and surrender… Soon it left (Certainly on its own time schedule, and not a flinch of an indication that it noticed me). As I write, its image reminds me most of a dragon, yet many worlds above the mythical fire breathing reptile I am accustom to; this was a sort of being who might sit on nests of new planet-eggs! [Too, I have never read any ancient literature concerning the inner being of traditional dragons either.]


The Mother of Mary’s milk


After it (the Angel of angels) left (I do not recall the transition ‘space’) I lay resonating with the healing wishes towards T.’s children; I believe it was shortly after the purging of the two evil seeds (which were ‘Teasing’ and possibly ‘Yelling’) that an immense event unfolded, so immense that I would be delivered upon its wave for the next six hours!

Suddenly Yage began pouring streams and streams of her milk onto me; the bliss of this bath is/was beyond words… I lay surrounded, soaked, bathing, being lapped up by the milk! Love poured and poured, beyond human bliss!

A cosmic-level of sensation opened up, all limits fell away, no barriers, no mind, only the consciousness upside down umbrella-I collecting her love rain; she would set a time later, after ceremony, saying that this night we would make love as never before (something to this magnitude)…


A Pile of Gold Teeth


The ceremony rolled and rolled… I visited a Galactic Knowledge Guild or Center where they showed me their flag-icon, which was a pile of gold teeth; I was told that this symbol came about since knowledge belongs to no one, that it is all from God, that we experience it, though it is not permanent, nor ever finished, that here Nothing is all, no more words, no more arguments, debates and competition:
The gold pile of teeth symbolizing the human’s surrender and vast Holy service to the celebration of God’s unspeakable origin, from whence Knowledge derives (My sense of it in my words here, now.)


Love’s clear patina


Soon the tempo of Love stepped up from Yage’s love and effervescent milk to an ascent and full blown embodiment of Love itself; Yage spoke to me so directly, very close-to-the-ear, saying, “You are the final landing place of Love.” She said this several times as Love literally landed on me, an invisible etheric being, although later I would experience making vast love with the Goddess of Love, the originator of my Headdress of the Goddess of Love!


More than clarity


I went to the water station to fill my bottle prior to going inside the Main House and was told that it was the Blood of the Virgin Mary; the voice also instructed me that I could tell others about this ‘transformed liquid’ though did not have to: I scanned the area and sensed it was not the appropriate time…

I drew the Reiki sign (the same from C.30) 3-4 times tonight in the air: At one point I experienced its submersion into my sex/pelvis and neutral/silent integration…


Voodoo


Towards the end of my stay in the C.H. my astral body lifted out, turned backwards and ran into a collective mass of Voodoo, which was hovering around behind me; an awesome astral surprise to say the least. As it hovered near me, my body took on an involuntary stance of Holy Communion, while some other spirit shone through my eyes, some-thing that I sensed was a being radiating the Most Holy Feminine, possibly the Virgin Mary or a Saint (?) My left hand took on the posture of holding the index and middle finger up, side by side, while the other three were brought together to form a sort of tripod-pinch, while my right hand held up its palm as if to indicate a halt or Stop-sign… I stayed in this pose for 1-2 minutes as this haunting presence passed away.


Dr. Love,
‘Come to me, I am ready.’


On this night I heard Luco singing at least one Icaro that I’ve never heard before; I sensed that there may have been the birth of another icaro (new) this night (?)

Yage mentioned that a shower after ceremony was in order; soon I found myself deeply intoxicated as The Final Landing Place of Love, walking through the Main House’s hallway, my head wobbling like a giant heart faintly attached onto my shoulders… (The image of an automobile weeble-wobble came to my mind.)

While in ceremony I experienced having access to a refrigerator full of beating hearts! Also the proclamation that, “Tonight, tonight I am Dr. Love.” Yage’s milk flow lasted at least 30-60 minutes in the C.H., thoroughly drowning me, immersing me fully in the white oxygenated Love-milk womb; I was ripe, so ripe for her picking…

As I entered the house I was ablaze with wet drunken love-nectar dripping, rolling me around in its mouth and sex, the height of bliss that reigned upon my body as if I were a phallic throne was limitless! It burned and burned all night, keeping me on an Astral Chakra Climax Peak, a roller coaster stalled on the tallest dive point for 4-5 hours!

Three quarters of this night’s experience would happen in the Main House, between my lengthy stay in my bed and the Dining Room…

As I lay in the C.H., I heard Yage say, “Come to me, I am ready.” I rose up, put on my shoes, located my headlamp and went to take a shower… I vaguely recall the psychic residue draining off of me from the healing performed on the children of T. and washed myself with the soap T. had gifted me, prior to her last days in Peru…

Note: I was ripe, so ripe this night, envisioning myself as a pharaoh-nic potential to turn this small village into a teeming Metropolis of fertility rites and children of God’s eternal bathing! This was far beyond the Greeks!

The Love was so immense that at one point Yage asked me to kiss the porcelain’s coaster and I did: I had entered such ecstasy, that not even Death and Decay stood a chance at not fostering children by me!


The Holy Pelvis


After the shower, experiencing myself covered in Shipibo, crystalline see-through-ish matrixes/designs, I found myself standing at the entrance to my mosquito net covered bed… As I stripped down, I experienced myself as the Holy Sacrament, an offering to an Angel or Deity, the original Fountain of Youth… As I entered, I took along my headlamp and Ipod, being asked to ‘tune it’ to Ravi Shankar…

As I lay down, huge waves of erotic milks, hot running honeys, blazing showers of Love fell through me, like some kind of Cosmic Wind; I have never experienced such depths of bliss and ecstasy in my life… Not all my/the sexual experiences combined could consummate this; it was taking place in an Astral Bed with a Being so seductive and gregariously able to share that my mind utterly disappeared in the vast liquid wetness of this slippery visceral garden, pulsing with a host of lovers soon to visit me, and the Holy Pelvis open to the symphony of Blazing tongued Hearts!

Once I lay down… The sequence of these events is near impossible to order 100% exact, yet the ‘food’ is here to eat! As I lay, Yage descended upon me, asking me to open my mouth, that she was going to pour into me her milk; I did this as my body shimmered, stepping higher and higher into a refinement of ecstasy and crescendo which kept the blackboard of my mind erased as the soft rubbing of the eraser drowned me in its meaning’s dust!

On and on she made love to me, asking me to open my mouth so that she could orgasm therein… Liquid, prehistoric quantities of sexual manna surging through my Astral body, lighting all, limits dissolving the already dissolved, doubling back on itself, licking caressing, diving into my wide eyed smile of sexy-hotnesses! [The Human Body references had disappeared, I was something else, an entity driven to the edge of a Galactic climax and kept there to reveal what lay beneath enduring such Godly-foreplay!]

Suddenly a Tree-spirit showed up and descended upon my sex, making deep, ultra-self absorbed love to me and making it a point to not disclose its identity… (?)

One amazing aspect of this 3-4 hour experience in bed is that while this lovemaking was constant I was also leaving my body and traveling to heal my family and friends!


Smile operation


Laying there I performed (these procedures also intuitively flowing through me) several psychic/energetic operations on myself… One was a nervous-system adjustment in my right arm, another was during a very hot and erotic session with one of the four seasons, I believe it was ‘Summer,’ where as my wet finger probed and rolled around in my unabashed love-mouth, my forefinger went, like a small blunt spear to each end of my lower mandible, i.e., where it is hinged to the skull and pressed hard there, releasing some very old blockages; soon it would move to the back of my neck/base of skull and ‘psychically’ seal up an old physical wound, where as a child I had hit the back of my head on a piano-point/corner. I was told that I had always (since that event) had an energetic leak there, effecting my ability to smile… Soon into the night, I would experience the Birth of my Galactic Smile!


A Hollow Crystal Taxi


At one point I got into a sort of Egyptian mummy pose and could feel a crystalline structure (having edges, like a glass, see-through coffin, though shaped more like a crystal) surrounding me… Suddenly (I had previously willed this travel along with possibly some interpretation by Yage.(?)) I found myself traveling to Ohio, where I eventually got out in a rural area. The exact reason for my presence there would be vague, I recall simply ‘being there’ as a presence in the dark. Soon I was back in bed, though I sensed a part of myself was still there (Ohio) as if my consciousness was connected to my astral footprints and fingerprints!


Blossoming Crossroad
The cotton monsoon


Suddenly I found myself face to face with the Spirit of Winter, she was coming to kiss me seductively; nearing me I could feel the coolness of her breath, her vast hibernating belly of quietness, her ever-virginity pulsating, rubbing over me, plunging into my electric field: I believe it was with her that I experienced such a surge of electronic ecstasy that my body went into a spontaneous back bend as whatever was taking place in my head quivered and shook on the verge of a nuclear blinking out of ‘I.’

Winter asked me to be her poet, to write of her essence, favor, etc. I dedicated myself to her… Throughout these visits there were also immense foreplay bouts, far beyond anything the usual flesh could ever handle, this was an astral love making ritual of a sort I could never have dreamed!

During Winter’s visit, I recall activating my snowflake hands/medicine, showering snow upwards, zoning it outwards, total surrender to her mastery over me and my conscious possession of the male logos, the Galactic pulse, staff of wonder and celebration of the propagation of the Eternal Worship of the Holy Feminine, the Galactic Vagina, God’s girl friends…


Hot Oil Filled Body of Balloons


The next season to visit was Summer, so hot, a desert of focusing on the fact that the only ‘water’ available was ‘on’ and all about the sexual portals; vast, far reaching solar winds passing through me… Soon I’d start looking for my bottle of water, i.e., the Blood of the Virgin Mary; Yage laughed to herself, saying that I was in it now… I laughed at the irony of forgetting my water while entering a molten fire pit of raining a thousand sweet-spot hurricane eyes! I did not leave the bed’s enclosure, the link was finite, drawn ‘As-is’ on the contract of the One and Only moment!

My breathing changed, inhaling desert heat, passing hot air mostly through my mouth and then the nostrils later, as my body was a virtual vat of shimmering sexual stew, steaming; I sensed a sort of astral mist being produced by her vicinity to me, by me, through my sexual center/organ (I could discern this astral mist leaving me, i.e., wafting above my pelvis.) The immense foreplay going on inside my mouth and the waterfalls from her pelvis, showering, filling me… Each rite-session with a season lasted about 20-30 minutes.


There was one point in the evening when I experienced my pelvis as a lagoon, a basin where fairies were diving into and bathing, swimming, chatting, etc.


Mouthfuls of Sprouting Wet Bulbs


Soon Spring would arrive, laying her vastly voluptuous body upon me, sending the ecstasy deeper as her erotic-juice weight bared into me (I was her Forever-couch!), I, an astral-tactile, my body disappeared so far as human reference points. All sexual definition collapsed, the left brain sizzling away in the pan of love, evaporation, condensing, lubricating the gears of an utterly Galactic Rite…

I could sense Spring’s immense presence of birth-giving, her Eternal basket of eggs, her belly swollen with expectant birth, never ceasing an eternal temple of pregnancy! She pressed into me; I arrived at envisioning the Cosmic Vagina above me, as my body became a sort of slippery whole phallus for its play… Cosmic saliva, fields of wetness, yet no yearning, all was satisfaction, yet the Roller Coaster stayed in place, the climax held, as Yage would intervene from time to time to tell me that I was about to climax, though held this news’s reconciliation at bay throughout the entire time, until…


Eternal Christmas


There was a vision (via an astral travel-arrival) of the surface of another planet (Not sure, though I believe this was before the birth of Aeux…) I was told something like, “Your love has created these towers of molten glass.” I saw 50-80 story (possibly vastly taller and broader than Earth-buildings since I could not entirely relate to the scale because I was perceiving it from a distance) cylinders towering, below were tiny cell-like beings working, extracting the glass and blowing Christmas Balls so to decorate what seemed to be a constant land of Christmas (The sense here was that these were indeed, dwarfs and not elves.) I was told that they were ‘my dwarfs,’ very similar to the birth of the Mermaid legion in my ‘head’ via a previous ceremony… I could see their village nestled in snow covered rolling hills with the decorated Christmas trees growing near the towers.

All along, the lovemaking and flow of the Cosmic Feminine was non-stop; I’d arrive back in my body as the scene simply wept with glittery sauces of love!


Steps to Love standing, Flying Still


I found myself connected to my Stepmother and performed two procedures on her using my own body as a ‘container’ for her astral spirit: the first was a head procedure, it was related to her history of head-aches, though I do not recall the context/theme… I do know that there were connections, like large electrical wires dangling, being reconnected and fused… In the second healing I took my right hand and held it over her heart; suddenly a vacuum occurred and I could sense that it was sucking out a vast quantity of skeletons and debris… This ceased and I returned to being in bed.


White Luminous One!


A great White Moth descended upon me, its wings were at least 12-14 feet across and its voluptuous white torso-body being 4-5 times larger than my own… Its feminine sex-entrance hovering over my pelvis, a shinny advertisement of ease with ecstasy-perusals, foreplay, pollinating… There is a sense that the sexual mist issuing out astral-ly from my Second Chakra may have provided some of my lovers with a kind of fertility-status (?)

Smiling miles of strewn out Love-surrender! There was a moment when Yage told me, “Here it comes.” Speaking of the relief of this 3-4 hour peak in my astral sex… Though she still held me longer and longer, as my body wrestled with pure hot air!

There was a place towards the end of this session that T. showed up; we flirted cosmically, though there was no actual sexual act… The immensity of this visit was Galactic! And in its potency of potential as well...


Twin Crucifixions and The Smiling Christ


Suddenly I was transported to another dimension where I saw myself nailed to a cross and T. to its other side, i.e., one cross and two fronts… I was told that the original symbol of the crucifixion was A Smiling Christ on the Cross, that it was a symbol of Divine Union…

Soon this cross began spinning at an enormous rate and then, a nuclear bomb of bomb’s force exploded into a Galactic spray/a huge, ever reaching, thinner than thin flat plane of rainbowed light/energy… Its look was that of Saturn’s rings, though in vivid rainbow colors…

After this, I returned to my body in bed; T. would crawl over me in astral form, dropping pink rose petals into me; I was initiated into the Priestesshood of the Pink Rose… Soon a Flaming White Lotus appeared in my large/small intestines and the sense that there could be a tattoo there came to me; there may have also been a pink lotus as well involved here (?) Additionally, there may have been a guild/hood associated with the lotus (?) The merging with T. was beyond Galactic, her smile radiating through me like a billion trillion caret diamond! Soothingly we rocked in a sort of airy lucrative foreplay, pink rose petals drifting down into me from everywhere! Whispers of promises so deep! I recall sensing that all of my being was simply a collection of Holy Promises to come true! Fields, flowers, trees, animals, beyond, far surpassing the Garden of Eden… The cross may have been the consummate-session/scene of our foreplay to union (?)


One Cage and One Doll


I found myself visiting T. in the manifestation of the Flaming Tongued Hearts surrounding me; she was pictured in a tall metal cage, i.e., the damaged masculine’s ‘Bird in a Cage.’ I held up my hands of flaming hearts and sent waves of having found her as my Twin Flame, my Creation-body Twin, saying, “Be free, walk my Love.” As I held my hands in place and focused with Love and Offering the cage began to dissolve…

Coming back to the bed, I envisioned another friend of mine (V.M.) and asked Yage if she was a God-sister, she replied ‘Yes,’ though this felt a little vague until the tempo picked up and Anne was added to the list; then a voice said (although the first friend and I never had a sexual union), “All of the women you’ve ever made love to are your God-sisters.” A vision of them all grouped around me in another dimension lit up in my consciousness…

It was in this period of time that I visited Taylor (an apprentice here) sitting in another astral dimension ‘meditating’ (a first kind of visit with an apprentice.) I was there to deliver the message that she was not alone... I also received messages concerning her mother and father being her sister and brother, her mother’s birthing of her (Taylor’s) cosmic children as an honoring to Taylor (these cosmic children which are her brothers and sisters in the third dimension on this Earth). And that Taylor was Venus and to focus on her chest, her motherhood energies, health in that area, etc.

I soon found myself with L. (my friend in CA), expressing my love for her: I was looking through her body and saw a broken doll… I said to her, “I will fix your broken doll.” I was given the message that she had been making love so much to her ‘broken doll,’ some sort of trying to subconsciously-medicate its broken status (?)

I also received visions of multiple lovers taking place in this physical, third dimension, though later a sensation of propriety and conscious timing held this far out as an appropriate flesh-manifestation, yet the sense may have been an astral one, having no context of body-expression in the third dimension (?)


AEUX
You are the planets you’re wondering about.


Returning to the non-stop love-crescendo, I lay and lay in a field of no exhaustion, my astral breath, a cloud of ever-ready masculine prowling… Deep, deep ripeness was in the air, as I smiled, my whole body smiled, my pelvis a virtual blank galaxy swirling with architectural plans for love without separation!

The moment was upon me as my thighs squeezed and my body went into various frozen contortions… Soon the eruption to take place, the pathway to it, opened up in Galactic Space where suddenly I saw an ocean wrapping around a planet, I, sensing all the teeming life on it: I was given the cosmic confirmation that I had given birth to a planet, i.e., [facilitated it with Ayahuasca and all the other lovers?] The planet’s name came out of my consciousness sounding like ‘Axis’, though spelled ’AEUX.’ Note: Throughout these events never did my physical body respond with a climax in the physical world…


Father of My Father


I suddenly found myself in Hell; surrounding me was a three dimensional field of Flaming Hearts with their tongues sticking out, contouring the shape of my body… My initial impulse (prior to this journey) may have been to heal my father, though right now I resonate closer to that I had him in my consciousness; I consciously connected to his field of sadness, his immense missing of his father (who died when my father was 18.)

In Hell I witnessed my Father’s Father rooted to the dry ground as a tree crying streams of tears: I said to him, as I placed my hands straight out in front of me, each having a Blazing Heart with a tongue sticking out, “I am here to liberate you.”

With a sort of magnetic energy, I emanated this pulsing field towards ‘him’ and as the tree lifted from the Basin of Hell, I soared it (the tree) out into Space…

Soon I could see it approaching my planet… Once in its atmosphere, I set it down in the ocean as a sort of first ‘island.’ The tree’s canopy leafed out into a great vastness (300-400 yards across) and this would be my planet’s Tree of Life!


Rigid Milk


(I believe this took place while I was in bed.) The sudden transport/vision of sitting down at a table (Yage’s presence was near) in another dimension; its chairs were tall, very upright black cats (somewhat cartoonish/animated looking… In their center-midst was a bowl of frozen milk (or semen). The cats began lapping this up and it began to flow inside my pelvis (astrally). I sensed this was the final stage of my Second Chakra healing/birth… (Realistic black kittens (and not those of the chairs,) ‘teenage’ sized, were the ones taking part in the defrosting.) Note: Also the chairs may have transformed into the kittens (?)


Galactic Sexy Tigress


Afterward I had the sudden and so-immediate sense that I could go and have a drink of water and to find my cat to cuddle, to take a shower, get dressed and spend time with all this. It was near 3AM as I stepped out of the mosquito net and into this ‘other world.’

I went to the shower and experienced myself as the Galactic Sexy Tigress, something that I also experienced in the shower prior the entrance to the Yage-love-rite… I could sense the feline energy teasing through me, the subtle witness of her emanations behind the shadows of my body’s cells, all walking to the gesture of her swaying tail!

Quotes from the Galactic Sexy Tigress embodiment came to me: “A flea’s ejaculation is cosmically vast.” “Your eyes are God’s gonads.” So much fun with her sauciness and wry smiles!

Manifesting as the tigress while lovemaking… Being sexually approached by the Gemstone Spirit: Brownish gold, similar to tiger’s eye, though not, rhinestone?


Sunshine


After the shower I went and dressed, going outside to look for my cat, I was astounded to find that he, similar to T.’s being in a cage, had been trapped inside the tool shed…

Freeing him, I took to cleaning his bowls, pouring him fresh water and giving him food… As I exited the Main House several times tonight I experienced being surrounded by the field of Flaming Hearts with tongues sticking out… I was still deep in the Medicine of Love’s landing!

I took to the hammock and lay with my cat; soon to be transferring some of the energies flowing through me into him. His body arched, his purring went volumes higher and he began vigorously taking care of himself, then being distracted by large waves of positive energy flowing through his spine and limbs, his chest pouring out vibrations of exotic body/spirit ecstasy, his hair standing up along the distance of his spine, etc. I witnessed his spiritual birth/awakening! And his name (I’ve nicknamed him ‘Chubs’ up until tonight) came to me, it is ‘Sunshine.’


Two Suns French Kissing


Soon, while in the hammock (and possibly when I went to bed later) I experienced the embodiment of two suns Galactically French Kissing; the heat of this loving scoured me, my breath changed, similar to being made love to by Summer, though deeper, more vertically passionate flowing through the middle division line of me. I suddenly experienced the birth of my central nervous system upon my Titanium skeleton from these Suns’ union!


Notes


My embodiment of being Love’s meteorite.

I was given the message that I am to work with healing prostitutes: This may have also been a repeat message/reminder or a stray line from a previous ceremony (?)

While in the C.H., touching the Earth/floor with bare hands and sending love pulses into the Earth.

That miracles would occur through me.

It was during this ceremony that I acquired/was given the Eyes of Christ and told that they were to be stored between my eyes.

My experiencing of Holy Abandonment as a sort of Galactic consciousness sliding…

Tonight I received a pair of long (white with red hearts) gloves: A voice told me that these were for assisting in difficult births, seemingly both in the third dimension and astral; these were the contexts shown/sensed.

The sudden deep, deep connection with my Step-brother; my sensing him as my Cosmic Brother… The vast feeling of appreciating him and wishing to honor his constitution and position in this Holy Matrix… Vowing to ask him to be my best friend (I have done this). Connecting with him through the present-image of my right arm, touching it, sending him my deep resonance with this revelation’s landing… (While in the hammock.)

The extraordinary love invested in ‘Sunshine’ while in the hammock. The Ipod perception, its cord being the orgasm ‘material,’ the plug a phallus and its ear buds were the gonads!

It was in the hammock that I felt so deeply masculine-ripe to transform the village into a teaming metropolis: It is also here where I left my body and visited all the females of the village as a symbol-reminder of their duty to serve the Cosmic Feminine, God’s immortality, etc.

I was a honey-well for the Holy Kingdom of Spirit!

Being reminded several times throughout the evening as I drank from my water bottle that I filled via the Ceremony Room, that I was drinking the Blood of the Virgin Mary…

Apologizing to the chicken under the sink…

The evil ‘seeds’ were planted by a father/masculine figure…

Step-brother connection: Best Friend.

I vaguely recall being poured into with vast quantities of diamonds.

God came to me and said that certain forms of sexuality on Earth were Holy Abandonment gone wrong: that mankind was created to tend to the Cosmic Feminine, to acknowledge and propagate her manifestation on Earth… And that all other forms of sexual expression had the potential to be in the service of hailing ‘Her’ other than its opposite…

At one point I recall Yage asking me to ball up in a ball, a kind of fetal position, though do not recall the context (?)
[I may have entered her womb (this resonates today).]

Listening to L.’s Ipod music at the end of the night as I drifted off to sleep: I also brought T.’s emerald and diamond into the bed with me.

Ceremony 30

November 16, 2009


My heart beating is the
sound of your footsteps.


An intimate beginning since there were only six of us making the ceremony circle tonight. Luco poured my medicine… ‘Salute’ and this very peculiar evening was set in motion. Grandmother Ayahuasca would tell me before ceremony that tonight a new level would be reached; also, last week she mentioned that these ‘last five ceremonies’ would begin a series of experiences where I would be ‘stronger’, i.e., more in possession of my full ‘power’. [What these words ‘mean’ in the context of an ongoing evolution with Yage, I cannot fathom: There was a change in tonight’s unfolding, though I am not certain as to whether or not I was more ‘strong’… These aspects are still incubating as the ceremony’s afterglow is sifting through me.]

At the beginning I experienced myself as a large jade-cut-gemstone and that all the trips to the bathroom were Yage’s deeds of cleaning this ‘gem’. This ‘washing’ was the general theme of these purges.

I would visit the bathroom 3-4 times tonight, commenting that a checkered flag on its wall would be great!

Prior to ceremony I drew a symbol of Reiki on my left palm, taking this into ceremony to experiment with. Early into the ceremony I would be asked to draw it three times in the air using both my hands; nothing else happened, that I could perceive as a distinct result connected its sketching.

At the start of ceremony Yage would tell me that I was protected via being her son/lover, in her home, etc. A vague recollection of specifics… I sensed that in this vision-reception that I was sitting down in a chain/throne of some kind and with each hand upon a staff, holding steady some station in another dimension…

Yage would visit my Daily-deeds, showing me the flower she’d weave into me!

Vaguely I recall being asked to send twenty healing-spheres to the newcomer who was scheduled to partake in these last five ceremonies of the Lodge’s season.

At the beginning I could feel a kind of ‘mass’, seemingly indigenous to my mind, sitting/positioned between myself and access to the surrender to/of the electronic realm. This eventually subsided though its character-echoes stayed around and would surface in a tactile way from time to time, with/having no particular attitude or inner-dialog…

At this early stage, my chest was filled with pearls… Grandmother Ayahuasca began unpacking the pallets of gems in my head (that the Ten Holy Skeletons had placed there during a previous ceremony) this ceremony night and said something to the effect of, “What did you think these materials were for?” Hinting that they were for building something, though this was not shown.

The medicine was slowly working tonight; about 20-30 minutes into ceremony Luco asked us if we wished more, I was the only one who said, “Yes, pakito mas.” He suggested (though I would not get the translation till lunchtime the next day) that I wait ‘ten minutes’, which was the right timing. The medicine made a strange trail-design into me tonight, opening the door slowly, yet all the way… I liked this subtle, gentle meandering for a change, the soft dialog, the spaciousness for breath and prior-contemplation, easing into the zone.


Totem Calling


The first things that I was called to do was put in the Bear Totem’s emerald eyes and to ‘keep them in,’ secondly I had the intuition to call upon the Black Falcon… Soon its beautifully dense (like an ultra agile body of quicksilver) majesty would descend as a second visitor would surprise me; a great sized, black Egyptian Ibis positioned itself next to the Falcon, both were perched inside me, side by side. The enormous beak of the Ibis was so regal, there!, outstanding as it sat itself, softly, so still and confident in me!

I spent most of the initial ‘preparation time’ on my mat, laying and sitting up. Early into this I experienced myself as a crystal-clear-shape of some kind where my consciousness was positioned, staring through it, into some of Life’s icons, possibly utilitarian spaces, a house or room of some kind? (As I write this, I wonder if I accessed my old crystal ball that is now in Holland with a friend?)

A voice reminded me that I was a Holy Servant of God and asked/requested that I do whatever I can to help T. with her life, i.e., to do whatever it takes to make her happy, etc. The deepness of the surrender to this commitment was immense, cosmic-handiwork manifest on Earth, transcending mind-barriers, all thought-yields, all mortal stop-signs, diving, skimming across the lake of my true ability to be as much as I am without fault, doubt, regret or second guessing afterwards or before…

Subtle messages concerning the healing of a friend in ceremony (that introduced itself in C.29 with the arrival of the Obsidian Dagger) commenced, dropping messages from time to time, investing me in preparation for it…

Note: A message in this ceremony that ‘fire’ is God’s seasoning.

It was near mid-ceremony that Yage told me that she had a message for my friend in CA who mentioned that I may be hiding myself behind ‘cryptic writing’… Yage said to tell her that I had no self to hide, that her (Yage’s) little kitten has nothing to hide and that the cryptic way of writing was simply my individual tone of purr… I smiled and opened deeply my heart to Yage’s love tonight, vast, glowing, cosmically right and humbling, so softly strong! Yage would also confirm who were not my God-sisters, that I had wondered about at one point in ceremony, and cautioned me to be on the lookout for distractions via others personal lives trying to ‘hook’ into my field…


Black Blazing Lotuses and Diamonds


A voice came to me and spoke of Thor’s or Zeus’s thunder bolt; suddenly descending from above a zig-zag-object came into my sternum, (The thunderbolt of Thor, Zeus or either having one to give?) apparently stationing itself next to the Obsidian and Ruby daggers; I do not recall the instruction concerning it, only that the voice quickly added that I was to receive the Helmet/headdress of Thor, this alighted on my head, sitting on top as a Blazing Black Lotus, a symbol that perplexed me at the time as being related to Thor (?) Soon afterward another voice (possibly masculine) spoke of the vestment of the Black Diamond; Yage mentioned that it might be a bit difficult and that I ought to lay down (Previously I had been asked to sit up and to radiate the blazing Black Lotus in ‘dignity and strength.’)

To add to the descent of the flaming black lotus: There was a point where I was prompted to spread the Falcon’s wings broad; suddenly (in relation to the prep of J’s healing) all the currently living bird-types of the world descended and perched on the wings… At that point I did not know what their function/participation would be; holding this posture of hanging these wings out for about a minute, I laid back down…

Vaguely I recall that Yage would add that the black birds were not included in this gathering of ‘All.’ (?)

Once horizontal, I sensed the Black Diamond’s mass being electronically invested in me, not its weight, instead, its beingness, function and spirit of meaning, though I would not be told what it signified exactly… In this timeframe I was told that I was now a member of Thor’s Guild, that my history in working with metals had attracted this ‘result,’ invitation/initiation…

The medicine-time was peaking as Mid-ceremony somewhat stalled, pausing between passing Time-floors… Yage would tune in and tell me as these stages came and left, that I would be healing J. tonight, at “the right time” and that there were no worries, all was perfectly scheduled and that it could wait till next ceremony (though it would not…)

While still laying down, I experienced myself as the Holy Black Mirror, i.e., most ultimately having nothing to loose, being the presence surrounding nothing so that Nothing can exist…

Notes: The thunderbolt may have been an investment towards J’s healing?

Someplace around the Black Lotus manifestation I received a pair of glasses (That I’d later be told to store behind my left ear.) for ‘Seeing behind Jail Cells.’ I kept these on throughout the healing of J. [This is most likely also directly connected to the mask pictured as a jail cell’s door…]


Black Whisperer


Soon after the installment of the Black Diamond next to the Red Ruby, which rocked my body with electrical jolts, shaking, spasms and deep moans as its storm passed, suddenly from behind my head (as I was laying down) a Black Cobra arrived; I was told that this was no ‘regular totem,’ that it was a ‘visitor,’ specifically here to assist with J’s healing. Involuntarily I took it into my cupped hands and inhaled it through my nostrils, into my body… The new ‘level’ Yage spoke of was upon me…

As I sat up I experienced firstly my left arm turning into a great Black Cobra, then my right, while next were my legs, all appendages having cobra heads as well… Soon after I would envision having an erect cobra between my legs, though this did not manifest in body… Suddenly the measure of this embodiment dove a depth that I’ve never experienced before: I experienced my brain stationed next to the Cobra’s, a dual ruling on one throne!

I could feel its fanned out headdress/flanks on either side of my head, its enormous oval shape breathing and serpent majesty! The Black Cobra spirit gave me one message to deliver to J., to tell him “The black cobra says hello.” And this was to be the only literal communication between it and I…

Several times I would go to drink a sip of water and Yage would say, “Do not swallow that one, spit that out, take the next one.” As I would do this, my tongue would involuntarily stick itself out, I sensed the cobra was experiencing me as a sort of embodiment as well! It swayed, stood regal, waiting for the moment of J’s healing to begin. Yage told me that she was going to keep me in deep (in the electronic zone) until the time for the healing
was right…

There was a point where I experienced the cobra wrapping around my heart and tensing it, massaging it… Also I was told that my torso was Black Bees, legs Black Swans and feet Black Adders at one point, my arms (I suppose) were still reserved to the Black Falcon’s wings, while my head was full of Falcon, Ibis and Cobra companions, though I sensed that the Ibis did leave prior to the Black Cobra’s arrival…


Twin Flames and The Lord’s Prayer


I went deep into my connection with my Twin Flame (T.), suddenly a phrase came from my depths, that I dedicated solely to T. and sent its endless beacon out to her reception, it was, “My beating heart is the sound of your footsteps.” I would soon be told, by what felt like an angel/emissary of God, that this was a Holy Phrase, that it contained power, like a mantra chant…

Also this night Yage told me that whenever it was that I would be working with others and the medicine, that The Lord’s Prayer’ specifically, would be a protection-summon for my particular ‘Mesa.’ Later a direct link to the huge antique Masonic etching I bought in my mid-twenties of it would link up with this ‘new’ introduction…

While I was showering vigorously after J’s healing, the statue of a plaster cobra (about two feet tall) that I coveted as one of the first things I ever bought myself with my own monies when I was about 10 or 11, this visited me and linked up… Additionally, throughout my high school days I was obsessed with drawing cobras, a single one, for some reason (?) This added itself to the cobra theme as well…


Space-black Medicine


Beginning: J. went to the restroom prior, as I sat in preparation: The cobra-spirit was fully awake, sober, regal, quiet and sure. My tongue began making an involuntary clicking noise on the roof of my mouth for about a minute; it was like some kind of incantation or beacon-message like Morris code (?)

I was told, early into this healing, that a Black Rhino was stationed in my bottom for ‘anchorage’ (As part of the healing-prep.)

[Interesting that although J. was a single person in ceremony, I wrote it like this the next day in my journal…]

As J. decided (they) were ready for the healing procedure, I got up and went to (them): Laying on (their) back, I took their right arm and gently embraced it, I delivered the message that, “The black cobra says hello.”

I took the Obsidian dagger out of my sternum, positioning it over the ‘sensed area’ and envisioned it being ‘dropped’ through his pelvis, sinking horizontally towards the Second Chakra (I retrieved this from his hand after the procedure was finished.)

Prior, after the message was delivered; the first gesture I did was putting my right hand on his right knee, while the other held itself over his pelvis: I could feel ‘the energy’ passing through my hand into his body, though no thoughts, pure mediumship…

Soon my left hand/wing went out over his pelvis area, and held there in the air: Then it (the left hand) went nearer to the pelvis, first taking on a Peace-sign gesture and then quickly those two fingers turned downwards (involuntarily) to form curled fangs (!) This left hand tensed up and froze there as my right arm/wing began swaying/fanning back and forth; amazingly, feathers from all the birds existing now on the Earth, began showering ‘themselves’ into his sex/pelvis/second chakra.

Next, the left hand went to his heart and I envisioned/sensed a heavy cobra body and head, fanned out, laying across his torso and heart… My right hand went to his heart, a voice told me that, “A sad boy” was in there, to take him out, swallow him and put him in my golden heart: I did this…

Afterwards the voice said, as I was back at the original gesture of holding his arm with both hands, that it was finished and that I could let go now. Doing this I said, “You’re welcome.” to his ‘Thank you.’ and went to take a shower…

Once in the shower I experienced the strong intuition to take a very thorough washing… As I was under its waters, I experienced the malevolent sexual records washing off of me and down the drain. The cobra spirit was still with me as I bathed…

Note: Prior to this healing, the Cobra and I sat with the others smoking home-rolled American Spirit cigarettes; it was amazing to experience this spirit-being taking part in this communal expression!


Dual Father-holding


Someplace between the arrival of the Black Diamond and the Black Cobra, my consciousness was transported (astral travel) to a dark landscape, reminiscent of Mayan or Incan architecture/feel… The ambient lighting was that of either numerous spot-fires or a full moon (?)

Suddenly I saw myself as a large-bodied man/humanoid (?)
Vaguely I could make out that I might have been wearing some kind of huge mask that had vertical bars stationed on it (Like a miniature prison cell door.) (?)

The most significant part of this episode was its context, it was concerning being protected from malevolent forces… I was told that I was being given two staves, solid gold skulls, male and female, their shafts being made of the total vertebrae, while their tip/terminations were the coccyx.

Note: On this night I would also experience the descent of a Flaming Black Snowflake… There was no mention as to its definition/cause… This may also have been a second visit. (?)


Ventiata


Luco would give me a healing ventiata tonight: As he stood over me with the Chicapa (leaf fan), singing the healing icaro, subjects began to surface to the upper atmosphere of my consciousness… I felt the histories of those abuses others have ‘invested’ in me leaving (or were they being unlocked to ‘vision’?), the sneers, yelling, teasing, crying, etc., all being fanned out… Throughout this I sat up in a state of deep grace and bounty! I love you Luco, thank you for you!

The epiphany about how this Earth and atmosphere (external) hosts our projections from our inner ‘Earth and atmosphere,’ i.e., the Earth’s sky is at the point where the brain meets with the inside of the skull, dynamically…

The subjectivity of some Shamanic rules/advices/cautions, etc. That objectivity is most often confided to the insides of our silhouettes.

Going to bed, performing my nightly dedication to T., deep, deep, resonance and endless lighthouse flashes to her heart! Holding steady the constant one pulse of ‘Heart.’

Ceremony 29

November 11, 2009

The exodus inside the compass point




This was a special ceremony where Luco offered to have it upstairs in the Main House with Jeff, Taylor and myself. The beginnings of this ceremony’s outline began as we were traveling back on the boat from Iquitos to Jenaro Herrera; a voice told me that I would receive a smock, a mask and surgeon’s gloves tonight… On my way along the river I sent out messages to my Twin Flame (using waterways as a phone line). I also set an aim to help heal her and my God-sister in the U.S.

The weather outside looked stormy though only a mild rain began just as we were about to drink the medicine. In this ceremony, going with my standard of not specifying a dosage from Luco and the fact that it was so dark, I did not really see (for the first time) exactly how much I was getting, I guessed it at nearly a half cup, i.e., ‘a fat quarter’. The incredible beauty that I sense from this is that Luco has seemingly ‘plugged’ into my change of heart and simply pours what he feels is right and hands it to me, saying nothing before or after!

After drinking I could feel my inner circuits glowing within 5-10 minutes… For awhile I sat on the mat and swayed to the icaros, humming and opening myself to their vibration- currents… It was about 20-30 minutes into the ceremony that I laid down completely (We had only the mats upstairs tonight).

Going deep into the electronic realm, far down, opening my eyes, sensing Yage’s presence, hearing her voice… [The body/spirit effects of this ceremony lasted up to 2PM of the next day while recording in my journal.]


Ayahuasca petals


I believe this event took place prior to the root cellar visit (?) At the early part of the ceremony upstairs, Yage would briefly have a sexual encounter with me. Later, downstairs, Ia Umaa visited a second time for another love-dance.


Beautiful basement


Early into the experience I found myself laying on the floor of Yage’s ‘root cellar’, a beautiful place, though dark; I could not discern what was here. Yage would tell me there was nothing bad about this place and that it was a sacred space where she stored her goods (?)


All bubbles


I also recall psychically seeing and sensing the Prayer Spheres and Healing Spheres issuing out of me and away into Space: I was told that all actions send forth these ‘spheres’ and ‘orbs’. Some were round, others elongated, like the giant soap bubbles from dipping rings in bubble solution and pulling it along in the air…


Obsidian with love


Soon, a voice told me that I was getting another ‘dagger’, an obsidian one for sexual healing operations… Once again my right hand involuntarily made a rigid spear point pose and took its place vertically at my sternum, pressing hard into it while my body convulsed and my mind went blank for a minute or two. (It was placed alongside the Ruby Dagger.)

It was after receiving this dagger that Yage spoke of an apprentice who I may help, if they wished, with a ‘sexual healing.’ Yage left it to me to intuit whether or not to ask; this did not occur, though I will let them know of this…


Phoenixes and dragons


Following this was a smock made of playing cards, a surgeon’s mask of layered phoenix feathers and gloves made from the stomach of a dragon, though the type was not specified…

Another shamanic aspect was added to the ‘storage’ space of my face: A voice told me that I would have Red Dragon in my nostrils (!) It was demonstrated to me through mildly snorting outwards, that this was the activation ‘key’ for the Red Dragon Medicine. (It was not specified what this was for.)


A visitor after the river


Possibly for a second time (?) a glowing quartz jaguar skull showed up in my throat chakra, no other details arrived as to its purpose. (And I did not feel that it was emanating totem ‘specifics.’)

I found myself laying down next to Yage by/on a riverbank: She congratulated me on my keeping of my promise so far as no kissing or sexual activity while ‘connections’ still flowed… She requested that I snuggle next to her and rest, be at ease with her, etc.

I believe that it was at this scene that Tobie showed up in my experience and did a procedure on my upper body near my collarbones, reinstating that I no longer needed ‘this’ (? ~ I did not see what ‘this’ was.) In her healing procedure she was pouring into me rose crystal or was working with ‘rose energy’ to facilitate.

It was the first time that I’ve experienced another ‘being/spirit’ connected to a living human being enter my experience-zone in the electronic form: (Although the wind effects of Luco’s leaf fan did enter my Hades experience in C.5)

I had the revelation that she had been working through this dimensional modality for some time… I do not recall that she specifically said anything else, only that her heart’s intensions and technical procedures towards me were clearly communicated in inner-meaning-dialog.


Turtle token


Mid-ceremony note: The vision of the turtle head as living, i.e., a living part, a part as a whole) as my shamanic ‘pet’. I was told that it was not specifically a ‘tool’ for sexual healing… That its medicine-application would unfold later, that its aspect is ‘Indestructibility.’ (The voice also explained the salesman’s odd behavior in giving his sales pitch by throwing it on the ground and standing on top of it to show me that it was ‘well worth it’, as I was haggling over a 10 sole drop in the price (that I got); the voice explained that this ‘show’ was a communication from the shamanic realm.

Yage said that she’d permit me to have a tattoo of the turtle head on my chest “right where it was” (in that physical moment) as I lay in bed with it on my sternum: there was an additional detail saying that the turtle was associated with Mermaid Medicine… There was a point where I felt its etheric body exude itself outwards from the skull…


God nap


Tonight (something I’ve never experienced before) I had a distinct sense that God was asleep! Maybe Thursday is his truer ‘Sunday’?)


Goddess of Ruin


Near mid-ceremony I experienced myself laying inside the Goddess of Ruin; I could feel her silhouette/galactic consciousness embracing all abandoned buildings, uninhabitable regions of mankind disasters, graveyards, etc.
The distinct sensation of a vast application of fertility emanated from this embrace…


Ten Holy Skeletons and
Mermaid Medicine: Their ocean is you.


Towards the point in the ceremony when yage told me that the peak of the experience was nearly upon me, suddenly ‘the’ Ten Holy Skeletons (this title was given to my consciousness-knowing) showed up near my head.

These were 8-10 inches tall; a voice told me to submit to whatever would occur, I relaxed deeply as my core-joy emanated like a heartbeat…

I sensed that the top of my skull was taken off, as they began to busy themselves with shoveling out residue of my past, details, emotions, opinions, i.e., echo-materials: I could sense and partially envision them with shovels, throwing out sludge, rubbage, sweeping material, etc. Others were going through filing cabinets, some were sowing/stitching, cutting, operating, etc.

[Later, as I went downstairs to shower and sit in my bed/mosquito net, I would surprisingly sense them still riding on top of my head doing their labors!]

As they cleared out the debris they began moving in pallets of bundled gemstones, packing my head with these…

Soon, the plant spirit Ia Umaa (who I vaguely recall as being outfitted with large fairy wings, having an indistinct body, and the color green having some connection to its structure) showed up in the context of this project, she made love to me…

Suddenly a voice spoke simultaneous to the vision/experience of my head filling with ocean water, as baby sharks, dolphins, etc., were spotted appearing therein…

The voice explained that this space was being filled with the means to support Mermaid Medicine, that the baby mermaids were the children of Ia Umaa and I… There was a subtle implication that my inner thoughts and how I dealt with them via a conscious link to my conscience would be part of these babies ‘food’, raising, etc.

Soon the voice told me to go take a shower and that an alphabet was on its way to me… I said “goodnight” to Taylor and Luco, briefly experiencing seeing rainbows sprouting from her; I told Taylor about this vision and said that she was their mother.

Going downstairs I was still very deep in the medicinal zone of Aya and my body unusually, deeply hot: I went into the shower as The Ten Holy Skeletons continued to do their work. The sensation of the cold shower was different for the first time since I’ve been here, whereas I felt that it was cooling off my skin, though ‘I’ was not in it…

I went to my bed, carrying with me the newly acquired turtle head, my mojo-bag, journal/pen, Ipod, water bottle and headlamp… A voice told me that this would be the first time that I’d be setting up a Mesa of sorts… I did this and began to draw out (A-Z) a mermaid alphabet: soon would follow two different talisman drawings for female and male sexual healing (specifically).

Also, after being shown how light and gemstones can assist in healing chakras, a list of 7 gemstones/stones came to me, each specifically for individual chakra application. [This transmission was a little ‘bumpy’ and I will try to reinvest in it again, to further clarify its precision(s)]

A note: The alphabet phenomenon were as a small spider crossed my lap in bed I had the distinct message to squash it; in doing this it immediately transferred (in image-essence) to part of an alphabet character!


Battlefield snowflakes


It was near this place in the ceremony that I was shown how Tobie and I had crawled/traveled across the battlefield of Earth to find one another! The sensation was that we started at opposite ends of this ‘field’ and met in the stillness of its reconciled ‘middle’: An awesome sensation of vision.


Holy Reservoirs and purges


Tonight I was shown and told by a voice, once again, about the liquid crystal that Tobie and I would produce for the crystal orphanage palaces… And that the plant spirits would ‘Move Heaven and Earth’ to bring us together, that we’d grow old in our service… There was another revision of our son being a ‘Prince in the medicine’, specifying that this would occur at an early age… Aya further taught me details concerning Holy Sexual Expression, etc.

An event occurred after the reintroduction of the liquid crystal subject: I became ‘A Holy Reservoir’, a container for this crystalline substance… Envisioning myself* as a large dispenser, available to Celestial Beings, angels, etc.
*There was a subtle thread of a message that Tobie shared this ‘title’ as well.

There were three purges tonight; two of these were from misc. energies sent to me via a person in the U.S., another from the healing I had done on Tobie… Tonight was also a first in that my planned healing of Tobie occurred ‘behind the scenes’ as her arrival and healing me was seemingly a precedent…


Notes


While riding back on the boat, taking Tobie’s advice, I asked my fingernails what they needed to grow stronger: The word I received was ‘Magnesium’.

Yage told me not to worry about a friend of mine who is having a difficult time in the U.S., that Yage was working with her, etc.

The subject/occurrence of Face-entities came to me this night, though they did not manifest visually (?) I do not recall what they were associated with.

Putting in the Grizzly Bear eyes: laughing to myself after wondering why my vision was so strange, i.e., that I had forgotten they were in…

I was prompted several times to lay within the Black Egg though did not.

The vision of a jewel-instrument for the applying of the ‘light method’ to heal chakras. The idea came to me to construct a diamond-emerald ring with my friend’s gifts to me, instead of putting them into the turtle skull…

Repeat? ~ I received a message during a past ceremony that there are chakras in the knees (?)

I believe it was Yage who instructed that I could teach art in Peru, here in the village and possibly get a grant (?) The grant idea may have been an afterthought of mine.

Yage telling me that my mother is a manifestation of her.

Sending Love/healing energies, thankfulness, etc. to those in the room, my parents, step-mother and brother, Grandmothers, forgiving those who have hurt me, etc.

I believe it was the next morning while I was still experiencing the ‘effects’ of the medicine that I had the epiphany that the Egyptians ‘Arts/Crafts of Death’ (decorating, elaborate tombs, etc.) may have been the ‘mirror image’ of a living tomb in another dimension, that they were celebrating (being in) Death’s vestment of a deeper living and bountiful astral lifestyle via under the tutorage of a similar teacher as Yage, (“To die before you die.”) Their handling of the Death-tomb also reminded me of the Titanium skeleton vestments of recent, that their golden tombs depicted the portraits of their newly acquired immortal Galactic bodies, entombed in an eternal cocoon of endless expression and flight…

Real love flirts with itself.

Ceremony 28

November 8, 2009

Holy Open Heart Surgery



This particular ceremony’s content is ordered differently due to a time constraint when I recorded it: I wrote it in event-segments so as to not loose the vital cores of the lessons and changes that took place inside me… The segment-sequence isn’t exact, though is true to event… As usual I let Luco choose my dose and soon double awoke in the Ayahuasca zone… A deep, powerful ceremony; clearly flowing and adding from those events of C.27!


Holy Love Service


I soon took to the mat stationed behind my rocking chair; once there Ayahuasca presented herself as my lover and mentioned that she was going to have an orgasm in my heart. I felt this ‘substance’ flow into my heart as my body convulsed and an odd electronic wave shuttered through my etheric spirit and subtly my flesh…

Following this (and throughout the ceremony) Yage would give lessons concerning sex, i.e., that my sex is pure, that mere acts are not sinful, it is the context of emotion invested in ‘the form’ of sex that brings about the corruption. That the Earth has lost the sacred practice of Holy Love Service (making love to give to the electronic field of the planet as a sacrament, etc.) Scenes and senses of this craft/discipline journeyed to me…


Boots and Gauntlets


I received earlier at the river (prior to ceremony) the message that I’d be getting ‘boots and gauntlets’ during this ceremony.

Early into the ceremony, as I lay on the mat, these items presented themselves to me like a fairytale being woven into the reality of my breathing living! The boots were delivered as being made of woven wheat: A voice told me that these were for walking in the Valley of Death. The sensation of them going on was soft, humble, assured…

The gauntlets; each had a different sensation as they were being built onto my hands and not prior… The left was empowered by the Astrological Forces of the Horizontal Plane of Earth (having also a distinct connection/relationship to those living Earth-representations of these astrological forces) and has the jaguar totem picture on it, while the right was/is empowered with all the Planetary Aspects of our Solar System, having the buffalo pictured on it. (I felt these physically erupting into manifestation upon my hands.)


Ruby Dagger


It was at this stage (near it) that my right hand did a strange involuntary gesture, it went into a rigid spear point gesture and turned to meet my mid-sternum area… Once there a force pressed my quivering tense fingertips into me, this hurt a little as a voice told me that I was receiving The Ruby Dagger, to be sheathed in my sternum. (The sheathing position felt to be horizontal to my eventual standing up posture, i.e., not running parallel to my body line.)

When receiving this Ruby Dagger a voice told me that I was now a Holy Surgeon of the Order of Red Cross: Briefly some sort of huge shrine to the crucifixion arrived in the Ceremony House…

A voice said something about a crucifixion taking place inside me (I anticipated this, though a different ‘form/expression of this event’ happened that I could/can not apply my mind to, an event perhaps ‘behind the scenes’)… The voice also said something concerning paying homage to the crucifixion subject/event…

As this Ruby Dagger scene faded, I was told that I’d be performing a Holy Open Heart Surgery on Tobie.


World Purge


Either prior to the reception of the dagger or simultaneous, I received the message that I would be having the hugest, biggest purge to date, etc. Soon the voice said, “You are about to experience a World-purge; this occurred through my heart, scattering my mind to the void for several minutes, (The shaking, and the heart, head, sex chakra energy exchange… A voice saying that, “This is Diamond Mind.”


Holy Sacred Caution


Soon afterwards I was told that I now had an octopus living in my stomach with tentacles facing up. The octopus told me that she wears my erection as a diadem; I felt this imply a Holy Sacred Caution and discretion in this area.


Ruby Stomach


It was after the octopus manifestation that I was told that I was also being given a Ruby Stomach, I sensed that this had something to do with transforming substances that I’d receive while healing others, i.e., ‘Having to stomach…’ (This would soon prove to be right.) I briefly experienced the Ruby Stomach’s solidification inside me, briefly turning the octopus into a ruby coated being too, or permanent, since I did sense that I now had a ‘ruby octopus’, though this feeling was semi-rooted (?)


Calling to send


Throughout the ceremony Yage would ask me to send large numbers of Healing Spheres to Tobie (40-50 in all). Yage would also express incredible joy and celebration upon me concerning my keeping of my promise via C.27 about showing certain forms of affection towards someone still ‘connected’ to another.


The Mask of Sorrow


I believe it was nearing mid-ceremony when I voice told me that The Mask of Sorrow was descending upon me, to invest into it as much Love and Forgiveness that I could muster, so to dissolve it, etc. I did this; I experienced a brief merging with dark forces, though my joy remained rooted in my consciousness as a witness and dissolver of pain, confusion, resentment, etc.

Afterwards Yage would reveal that it belonged to Tobie, that this was delivered to me due to my desire to help her heal ‘echoes’ of past sufferings.


Perches


There were two instances when I called up various totems (not all of them) that are associated to me… When they arrived, I experienced for the first time them settling into their ‘regular places’…

The dove nested in my heart, the falcon on my head, while the owl and hawk were each perched on either sides of my shoulders; the eagle inhabited my winged brain and the tiger was walking around behind my chest.


Crystals, Future and Diamond Mind


As I lay on the mat a voice asked me to open my mouth, as I did this, the pouring of a cascade of rose crystals down my throat took place; the voice continued to say that this was for foretelling the future.

A second pouring occurred, this involved a bit more gem-material and I sensed that it filled larger cavities in me (?)
I do not recall the exact gemstone, I believe it to be either blue sapphires or green emeralds (?) The voice told me that this would lead me now to the acquisition of the ability to predict illness.


The Black Egg


During mid-ceremony dense energies were circulating; suddenly I found myself presented with a black egg… I was told that this ‘egg’ was both a transportation device (that I’d be instructed in later) and a protection chamber…

I covered myself with my blanket and envisioned the vertical depiction of a huge Black Egg and later saw the horizontal version while laying on a mat; both visions showed me inside it.

I’d later be instructed to produce a shamanic fabric with long black gloves (and possibly some sort of writing), i.e., a cloak of sorts that I could place over me entirely and with long-sleeved gloves, enabling me to work on others while inside the orb.

Afterward I found myself involuntarily storing it in my left eyebrow. I felt that the cloak would be for very ‘once in a blue moon’ (very rare) applications.


God Thee


God told me tonight that, “Enya is an angel in disguise.”, while I was listening to one of her songs that Paul was sharing with me during the after-ceremony-time (We were both listening to the song at the same time with one ear bud each).

Yage told me that God has no wife, only Lovers and that she was one of them.

God saying that Yage does not know/rule over the Angels, that he does (the Angels, Arch-Angels, Seraphim, etc.) and that she is the Queen of the Plant Kingdom, his garden on Earth…

God saying to me, “You’d better be grateful!” (I do not recall the context here…)

God showed me how his eyes are covered by a lens made up of all the eyes of the world and that my frustration is his frustration… There was also a small glance revealed as to his level of suffering; this felt that it would nearly annihilate my ability to be present to its witnessing!

A voice told me that, “Your (Tobie & I) lovemaking will produce quartz crystal palaces, places (foster homes) where orphan angels will live.” To take great care of her, that she is a jewel in God’s crown…


Beg into blossoming


Kneeling on the CH floor twice; once was for the gifts (?)* and the second was for gratefulness towards the Bear Totem for its presence in the healing of Tobie… The Bear telling me that my thanks was accepted. *I believe the first kneeling occurred after the World Purge through my heart.

As I knelt with my hands cupped as a bowl, my consciousness was suddenly taken to a cosmic scenery/sensation of presence where there were beings in naked human form suspended in Galactic Space holding empty bowls… A voice told me that they held the Galaxy together.


I will do the rest


Note: Towards the beginning of the ceremony Meghan told the apprentices that they could help others if the demand called for it… I waited for the right time to approach Tobie about my call to do the Holy Open Heart Surgery on her…

I went to her; asking if I could enter her space, she replied “Yes” and I sat down. I told her about the request of the Medicine that I perform this service [or possibly it came from the same voice who told me about the significance of the Ruby Dagger (?)]

She placed her right hand affectionately right where the end of the dagger ‘was’ (This was an incredible coincidence! There are none really.) I told her about this and asked if she’d pull it out, she did and I took it and placed it on her heart…

With my inner vision I saw her heart anatomy briefly and could sense that the dagger began to slowly sink through her chest and into her heart. Yage then said, “I will do the rest.”

At the beginning of this healing I called in all my totems, one by one, saying their titles innerly.

There was a point early on where the Headdress of the Goddess of Love manifested and stayed for 5-10 minutes…

I found myself putting into each of my eyes, one by one, the emeralds of the Bear Totem… Immediately the Bear Totem embodiment occurred and ‘I’ (we) placed its right paw over her heart and the left paw on the side of her head…

I experienced intense tensing up of the hand over her heart and the sense that the bear was sensing something deep and stubborn that needed extra attention to come to the surface and exit; I could sense its long, etheric claws reaching into her astral body, near the heart-field!

There were also transferences of energy through the left and right hands/arms from my solar plexus to her heart and head and back again, initiating a flow…

As the Bear Totem held steady its quivering, tense paw, I envisioned her heart solidifying into pure quartz crystal…

Concerning her heart, I/we pulled out a dart/sliver, sending it on its way with love. I then made a scooping gesture with both hands over the top of her heart area, taking this contents into my mouth and swallowing ‘a portion’ to be transformed in my heart.

Her deep responsive breathing, convulsions, little growls and hisses…

Towards the end of the heart work, I called up the manifestation of the Gloves of Love (the exorcism gloves) and held one above her heart; I experienced a sort of imprinting occur via the crystal heart phenomenon and sensed that a protective film/bandage had been administered.

I retrieved the dagger from my right hand and placed it back into my sternum (horizontally).

I then moved to her head for the second part of the healing.
I placed the huge Bear Totem paws laterally across her face with the ends of the paws facing opposite directions…
The Bear Totem called her several times to bring it up through her throat and purge, it also worked on her throat chakra during this request…

It was also speaking to something inside her, telling it to leave or it would reach in and pull it out by itself…

It did not respond and this is when the Bear Totem said, “Then I will pull you out.” Gently reaching inside her mouth, I envisioned the Bear Totem’s claws being used as a sort of great sized pair of tweezers; these grabbed hold of some etheric ‘edge’ (a wing tip) and began to slowly pull something from her mouth…

Once outside, in my vision field, I experienced it as some sort of flapping bat-like-entity (‘Bat-like’ though no body, seemingly all flapping wings.)

It flapped furiously while being held in ‘my’ very tensed index/thumb-hold on it: Flitting it off towards the Path of Love, we sent it on its way…

She would purge 10-15 minutes later after I went to sit down, as I watched over her progress/process while embodying the Bear Totem. I took her purge bucket, replacing it with a clean one and delivered its contents to the Earth outside and gave it a final rinse in the sink.


Notes


Towards the end of ceremony, the manifestation of Alligator Medicine towards a fellow deaf-attendee of the Ayahuasca ceremony.

Purging through taking a couple trips to the bathroom.

To be a bright blue shadow.
I want to be God’s pocket watch so I will always be the right time.

Seeing the huge upside down Pentagram over the bathrooms; and being told that it is an ancient symbol for the Evacuation Exit Temple of the Purge, that it is a corruption that it is considered an evil symbol.

A voice told me that the Earth was the Fallen Angel… (The transformation of each human-coat-cell.) (Angel-cell?) Leading to the redemption of the fallen one (?)

Yage sent a message through me to tell Jeff that, “You are beautiful.” Also a suggestion to Tobie to change her name.

Throughout the ceremony tonight I put in the bear totem-eyes several times.

Several fairy-type entities came to me and presented themselves. Bat-like and possibly integrated with architectural designs… No specific theme or function that I can recall (?)

The revelation that my friend in CA is also a God-sister of mine: Tobie is also and is additionally my Twin Flame… Experiencing the deep, deep realization of my eternal commitment to her as my sister from my Father-God origins.

Yage instructed me concerning my friendship with my ‘sister’ in CA: Asking me to cancel the trip to the coast ASAP and to write a thoughtful letter explaining the transformations, changes, etc. and that she is a God-sister of mine.

Strongly sensing the eagle wings of my brain throughout the day after ceremony.
To be careful with my diet: No junk food (Cookies, salty chips, etc.)
That Yage would reconsider the tattoo ideas and possibly provide the designs and locations.
Learning discretion, vicinity timing and to not get into the ventiata field of another (per this night’s events).

Sensing a need to build a shrine to my Grandmothers. Yage calling me a ‘young shaman’. Experiencing the beingness-sense of my Earth given name in the shamanic realm while I was sitting in the rocking chair.

The next day after ceremony; the sensation that there is molten static behind my forehead…

The huge shift to not spread bad news and speculative news.

The titanium material revelation that came to me the next day while wondering about the skeleton’s composition: That the Galactic skeleton was represented in this material since titanium is one of the only metals (possibly ‘the only’ so far) that the body ‘reads’ as bone, i.e., grafting onto it ‘naturally’, no rejections, etc. [To verify]

The deep sense of starting new as a god-galactic skeleton beginning… The sensation of quiet, subtle carefulness concerning the building of my Eternal body/spirit…

Thanking the bear/or experiencing my aspects of Dignity…

Sending energies to misc. people throughout the night: Distance orbs of healing intent/energy-charge…

Grandmother Yage said that all of her cooking utensils were made of solid gold. I caught myself wondering if the water she used was ‘exotic’ (?) She soberly replied with a precise answer, saying, “It’s just regular water.”

I went to use the right gauntlet to perform a self healing this night and Yage stopped me halfway and said, “No, the other one.” I used the jaguar/astrology-gauntlet glove to pull a large string (rigid cord-like) from my left leg/calf: Prior I experienced a throbbing sensation there; it disappeared after I pulled the ‘blockage’ out.

I spread the Black Falcon medicine around the CH room; sitting in its deep, secretive meditation of royalty… The sense-perception as the witness to its presence that it was keeping ‘spirit-rodents’ at bay… An incredible embodiment of its watch-tower dedication! I believe it was here that the Headdress of the Goddess of Love also manifested awhile, a second spreading of its energy-intent took place.

The vision/Galactic-wisdom-receiving concerning the ‘Round Vertebrae’ via the state prior to the God-seed’s division into two separate sexes…

Ceremony 27

November 6, 2009


Your choices and actions will
be your organs and muscles.



This ceremony will mark the beginning, the true birth rise of my god childhood… Tonight was the second time that I’ve left it to Luco to pour me his choice of dose: Soon into the ceremony I would see the revelation delivered concerning the ‘field of choice’ that he sets up for those to decide how much they want, i.e., that this is solely related to my sense of being given the choice of dose.

The revelation showed me (after many other backdrop contexts occurring) that total surrender to his cosmic position as a master servant is the final breakthrough, to pass through the ‘right of choice’ and ‘changing of mind’ and enter holy communion with Trust and Surrender…

After having my dose I sat back in the rocker, covering myself up with my traditional blanket… Soon the medicine opened the electronic dimension, moonlight slowly ebbed through the CH, I sank deep, so deep into the medicine’s disclosures: Far, far down… Yage told me that it may be better for me to lay on the mat; prior to this I went to the restroom a couple times…

Laying down, Yage told me to cover myself up, to concentrate on the cape, (I recall that I was told that I would be receiving a cape at the beginning of this ceremony, during C.26 or outside of that ceremony at the river.) that I was safe, to relax, breath, etc.

As I relaxed a message came to me that the cape was about to be weaved; my neck began having quivering convulsions, I was told simultaneously that this cape was made of the wings of all those creatures/living beings of the Earth, all the way back to the Pterodactyl. I could sense the cape scrolling out of the back of my neck…

With the cape half way finished, my lessons would shift… Soon my experiential field would broaden to include the experiences of others; this was subtle, not intense and the mantra to ‘hold my space’ would not be so consistent this night… I sense that it has integrated as a sort of intuition via the zone-state of field-living in the electronic realm…

Several events occurred at this stage: I do not recall the exact sequence, though the timeframe is correct so far as its being at the start of the journey. As I lay on the mat I could hear that many were experiencing difficult journeys; several times dark energies were passing above me, Ayahuasca instructed me to ‘build my protection’…

Down deep I felt that I was somewhat let go for awhile to produce my own heart energies to send out to dissolve or give signature to my light-point in this ceremony space… I saw several screaming alien-ish creatures approach me: Throughout this period of witnessing these, my joy and state of innocent presence did not wane.


An empty basket


Suddenly my soul consciousness was transported to a temple complex; standing as a witness I saw a demon approach this place, I intuitively knew that this was my temple in another dimension… The demon was carrying a basket, he was visiting to pickup ‘supplies’ or ‘ingredients.’

When ‘he’ made it to my cabinets/shelves a light showed that there was nothing there for him to cook with… Soon my consciousness would return to my body in ceremony as I clutched myself in a field of incredible emotional response to this living affirmation and lay in deep, deep smiles of love for this work in the medicine, for my own integrity, etc.

There were several times when Yage asked me to rinse my mouth out (To definitely not swallow any water; Ayahuasca regulates this in such an incredible way, one’s body becomes her plant in a ceremony-pot.) She would also instruct me to close my eyes at certain times when there were ‘certain presences’ passing through the CH.


Diamond calcium


At one point, as my eyes were closed and I had covered myself up with my blanket (as instructed by Yage), I felt a presence enter the CH; my inner eye could perceive the being, though not the nature of its ‘business.’ (Later I would sense that it was a messenger.)

The image I witnessed was that of a 7-8 foot diamond skeleton… It was walking around in the central part of the CH, where there are no mats… I felt that this being was some sort of holy emissary.

I lay, while its visit subsided within 1-2 minutes; I then rose from time to time to send out love and forgiveness energies to those in the CH; I could feel the Sanango going deep, my skin was heating up and my mouth was consistently dry…


Fairies riding


There was a time when a group of fairies riding large, gangly smiling spiders showed up on my periphery; I smiled and beamed love to them, blowing them kisses and beckoning them to come to me (I believe they were already on route, only stationed waiting for my invitation.)

Suddenly there were many more; they covered my body quickly, something seemed to pass over ‘us.’ Once this was gone, they quickly dispersed; it seems that their sole purpose tonight was to protect me from something, acting as a sort of blanket. (Were these the same fairies connected to the act of my promise not to kill mosquitoes in C.26?)

I went to the restroom/at least two more trips while deeply immersed in the astral connection… Yage would call me her son several times and at a couple places in the night she’d coax me to stretch out, relax and ‘purr’ because I was her kitten, “lion/tiger cub.” The immense affection and endearment!


The rest


At some moment, early on, the cape finished; the same physical convulsions occurring, etc. After its completion I was told that this cape would be used to return spirits/souls/soul shards back to the Path of Love; there was also an indication that more details concerning its qualities were to come… (I did not receive a visual of this garment.)

I embraced my father, step mother and step brother several times at this ‘beginning’, sending out healing energies, etc.

At the stage where dark energies were moving through my field of experience, I was doing several hand gestures, making the smile line-pictures with astral string and sending them outwards, drawing hearts, pouring out as much heart energy as possible (At one point Aya told me that my capacity to send this aspect [Love and Forgiveness] was endless…


Moon light


At this stage I also sent many spheres imbedded with the intents of love, gratefulness, thanks, etc. to my parents, Luco, Meghan, my apprentice friends, etc. Several times I created blankets of hearts and panels, spreading these around me, laying, relaxing deeply as my joy resonated, peering through the moonlit interior, working deeply to hold my heart outwards, to pour rivers of love and affection into the CH space… Breezes would pass over from time to time; I would sense these as nearly ‘shamanic elements’ from Nature, assisting to clear the CH space…

The medicine dove deep; tensions would arrive in my muscles, then making a conscious decision, I would relax and surrender; Yage found something in my stomach/large intestines… An event occurred here that I’ve never experienced, several spheres were removed, though it felt as though they had no particular meaning, that they may have even been ‘gifts’ now not needed (expired) and being transferred to another (?) I felt these leave peacefully…

Another removal phenomenon not experienced before was a sudden need to pull from my fingertips some sort of orbs. Amazingly my fingertips were throbbing physically whenever one of these orbs would surface/migrate to their ends… I pressed out several of these (8-10) and gently tossed them onto the Pathway to Love, consciously looking towards that direction ahead of me and making a definite will-message that they go with my peace accompanying them…

Additionally something else that I’d do to balance and maintain my joy-space, to keep its electronic structure together, was a sort of back and forth gesture with my hands, to cup and take energies from my sex chakra to my crown and then from above back down again, a sort of see-saw effect…


Kiss-promises


There were several one, two and three kiss-promises (A new method of ‘sealing’ an agreement between Yage and I) that I made in the early parts of the ceremony to Ayahuasca: Several times I was instructed to kiss her by kissing my own arm/wrist or hand… Her presence tonight was so intimate... There was a promise concerning my commitment to support the family I have as my sacred ‘unit.’ The second involved a method of showing affection, i.e., to give no kisses on the lips of any who have present-commitments or ‘connections’ (This was a double promise), and the triple-kiss-promise was to only write love poetry…


Galactic Guardian Totem


As I dove deeper I suddenly found myself in Space: A voice came to me saying that my Galactic Guardian Totem was about to greet me: From above I saw a great sized Grizzly Bear dressed in some sort of ornaments/garb (?) It possessed enormous white angel-wings…

It descended upon me and instructed that I take its emerald eyes and swallow them; I did so and found myself sitting in my ceremony-rocking chair, while the bear-spirit being manifested in me… I could sense its paws superimposed over the tops of my hands, its broad body radiating through the parameters of mine and its head surrounding mine. Sensing that this was too intense for my beingness to sustain, I took the emeralds out of my mouth and stored them once again in my right eyebrow…

The quiet grandeur of this being!

Tonight I do not recall that the totem said anything else, other than the request to swallow its emerald eyes. To add: Peering through the emerald eyes, i.e., with the grizzly-spirit presence cloaked over me, saturating, I saw multiple transparent layers of Shipibo designs! (A first) I could feel my eyes quivering with electricity…


Glowing god-toys


Near mid-ceremony I found myself in some sort of semi-dark grove/a clearing near a forest… Vaguely I remember that the cape may have been connected to this new introduction/scene (?)

A voice came and told me that I would/was being initiated/given the gift to heal/work with Chakras…

Suddenly this dark clearing lit up with a most incredible group! There were giant, bright, rainbow hued chakra entities; it was as if these were the mothers/fathers of our body chakras (?) They floated about, semi-mingling with one another… Standing there I was so overwhelmed by their beauty that (even in astral form!) I turned away. The voice continued to tell me to read/study about chakras… [There were several places in this ceremony where voices (incognito seemingly) would narrate such scenes…]

(I recall that these mother/father hovering chakras had complex bodies filled with geometric designs/structures; as I write this they remind me a little of something between exotic cactus and orchid blossoms and complex jellyfish combined and semi-transparent.)

I believe there was at least once tonight that I called up all my totems to ‘equip me’ with themselves to assist with the immensities felt; and these arrived, though in subtle ways.

A sudden revelation came to me, it said, “All churches on Earth are spaceships doing divine work for the soul’s evolution, no matter the surface drama judged by the mind; that this context was on the scale of Eternity.”

[We see/judge phenomenon through the filters of human-body-mortality years, i.e., a predisposed lifespan/mind expectation/opinion of Time and expression; the ‘conspiracy theory’ is the unrecognized theorizer within.]


Filth surrounding lotus roots


I quickly entered an incredible emotional spaciousness; here I fell in love with those efforts that my Mother and Father made to bring me into the world. I also connected celestially to the body of the Earth, all of my friends, my own body, etc. Here the ecstatic tempo dropped so deep that my physical body-mind could not take it, i.e., produce enough expression to stay aligned with the enormous ecstasy depth occurring, demanding its birth and expression…

The aspect of gratefulness/thankfulness erupted in me, while my cries of the immense acceptance of my utter dependence on God and all creation drove my soul out of my body…

It was also at this stage that I began to perceive the Holy love vibration within me for ‘the filth of the world’. The process of falling in love with ‘the filth’ took place here as I knelt down and kissed the grainy CH floor…

I found myself in Space, looking down at what I sensed was the dark half of the Earth; a voice told me, “You are done with the mortal coil.” (There may have been an additional sentence here.)

There was a distinct implication that I was obliged not to ever turn my back (Period!) on anything involving God’s Holy Mandala, i.e., this Earth-space (The life coating of living Earth).


God’s field of eggs


Suddenly my body began to shake, immense streams of energy were shooting through me, I felt that there were fusions taking place between my second chakra and third eye: Soon these torrents of convulsions and fusions were so numerous I relinquished, and gave way to experiencing my body’s reaction to it on Earth…

I was returned to Space where a Galactic Birth took place; it felt as if there was a rift, i.e., a sort of vaginal opening in the fabric of Space, then a bursting, dual fanning out of white hot light; a voice sounded inside me, saying, “You have arrived, you are as you have always been, a god!”

My presence emerged from some sort of God-field of eggs (?) The moment is indescribable…


Cradle-watch


Soon I found my Galactic-beingness witnessing the origin-story about the birth of human beings! I could intuit the meanings, hearing them, though not audibly, it was as if the story spoke to my pure knowing, though not through sound waves… [I had entered through some kind of Galactic information pane.]

It explained that the God-seed split; one half became man and the other woman, that their union (procreation) was the sprout, the vehicle of God’s immortality, i.e., a division of the soul-god-seed, union, birth, division, union, birth and so on, God’s cells dividing eternally!


Twin flames


It was here that an immense revelation took place: In the context of this story of the birth of humans, the wisdom field dove somewhat sideways; I heard a voice tell me that my current friend Tobie, here in Peru, was my “Original Best Friend”, that she was ‘that other’ who was produced at the time of ‘that’ God-seed’s division which produced me… I, incarnated in the role of its male half and she in its female half… The sensation was that we had not met since this event, possibly for eons.

The immense emotion of finding her, my original best friend: The vision of her dancing jubilation as a young girl coming towards me, smiling, laughing, full of the Positive-Eternal! And an extraordinary celebration of innocence, our sharing of company, to just know another, to be blessed by company!! The aspect of knowing someone different than my ‘I AM.’ A whole new vision of others was born here.


Fulcrum love


This process continued; I saw myself in Space, deep Galactic-space, beyond context and specific expressing… In one hand I was holding extreme poverty, in another I grasped wealth and abundance: I experienced myself as stationed there, an eternally fused linkage of love, as a kind of permanent position, as a sort of fulcrum point…


God speaks


This scene changed and I experienced myself back on Earth, sitting near the Ceremony House’s screened wall, yet my consciousness was somewhere else, at a sort of duplicate ‘fascia’… I saw/experienced myself kneeling down at a fence line and voice said, “Welcome to my kingdom’s gates.” This was God’s voice…

I saw myself as a solid titanium skeleton that was covered in all kinds of runes, some kind of celestial language riddled over my entire skeletal body like hieroglyphs on an Egyptian temple…

God said, “Your choices and actions will become your organs and muscles.”

I knelt as the titanium skeleton and kissed the dirt and debris outside God’s kingdom’s walls: It was also here that I experienced the crying of a kitten that I’ve recently found here in Peru and experienced it in this God-dimension as being on the inside of the fence line…

I lived in this moment as a brand new Galactic god-birth, a baby of god as a god with the body of a hieroglyphic titanium smiling skeleton. Additionally God revealed to me that the only organ/muscle that I would possess in its fullness was a red beating heart, stationed/hanging suspended inside this skeleton…


Second hero birth


I returned to the CH; in my human body-shell I experienced a major surge of energy and a kind of second manifestation of a birth, the Birth of the Hero (though not the affirmative Hero-mythic, a reality) and while now continuing to hear the kitten crying outside the CH, I also experienced two dimensions at the same time; in this galactic consciousness, peering out, sensing my new body within the human coat, I looked towards where I sensed the cat was and whispered to him that he’d be ok/alright… I also sent him a Sphere of Care, Warmth, etc. Simultaneously I experienced my consciousness in Space looking out to the stars with the same care and will-wishes, as if they too were my ‘kittens’.
[It was also here that a quickening of the aspect of dignity took place.]

The hero-stage was a brief scene (I believe that it was connected to the image/being of myself in Space as the fulcrum, a hero-balance of poverty and prosperity.)


Ruby roots


While coming out of the Hero-birth/manifestation, I suddenly heard God’s voice say, “And to you I give the red ruby.” In a flash my head and neck/upper back began convulsing deeply; I saw the ruby as a huge elongated oval or rectangle dangling in my skull, towards its forefront, fusing, electric, so, so intense! I do not recall any purpose/meaning being disclosed about it (?) Possibly this was connected to Dignity or prior to the Hero-birth (?)


God’s emerald forest


Coming ‘out’ of the Galactic birth, while laying on my mat, I suddenly found myself standing in a deep, dark, massive forest: God’s voice said, “Welcome to my emerald forest.”

I faintly saw huge, dark gem clusters, similar to stalactites, hanging down like Spanish moss from the tree canopies (Trees that I could not discern in detail). The immensity was similar to the ‘Chakra Garden’ (Too much to behold and hold steady with). I quickly found myself back in my body on the mat…


God-child


Another incredible surge of boundless energy washed over me: I recall Yage saying, “Now you have the strength and dignity to get up.” I tried this several times, partially rising up from my mat, taking water to wet my mouth and spitting it out in my bucket…

My consciousness was radiating inside this new body, a sense of myself as a Galactic-god-child was/is the most immense event/feeling I have ever experienced so far in my life…

My human consciousness was gone, pure cosmic beholding took front and back row seats, while my human ‘connections’ were being ‘taught’ by my newborn Galactic-sense(s) somewhere in the middle…


I am welcome in Life


I noticed that I had run out of water and looked to Paul, who was sitting to my left; a shyness to ask happened inside me and then a pause occurred within the omni-presence of my consciousness, as if it were a sort of meteor or single asteroid-echo suspended in Space…

A new sort of dignity rose up in me, a kind of fearlessness and trust that I am welcome in Life… I asked him if I could have a drink of his water and he said, “Sure.” Kneeling down, he picked it up and said, “Actually, you can have it all.”

Deeply immersed, bound inside the resonance of this titanium body-skeleton I looked to him and graciously thanked him for his generosity and willingness to share…
I ‘entered’ the inside of the CH as if I (my consciousness) was radiating out, pulsating through my human-shell…

I got up and went to sit on the rocking chair, which was directly in front of my mat… When sitting down I could discern my body with my inner-eyes. (Before getting up to sit down, it is here that Yage told me that I could drink a little sip of water.)


Neptune filled


As I sat there, my consciousness embodied in the resonating field of the titanium skeleton’s presence, my presence left and went to a sort of in between space (?) [Between Time, Physical and Outer Space (?)]

It is vague at this one scene how I reached from the Ceremony House to Outer Space… Nonetheless, I took hold of the planet Neptune and while holding it in my left hand, I leaned over and taking my cup of water, put Neptune in my mouth like a pill and swallowed it: I could feel it suddenly expand inside me to a much larger size…

The voice of God came to me and said, “The planets are my candies and Pluto is my favorite chocolate.”


Holy Choice


When sitting in the chair as the god-skeleton, I found myself making sweeping vertical loop to loop gestures with my arms and hands in full orchestrations straight down my torso, balancing, moving rhythmically to the icaros…

It is here that I sensed the holy division line down my center, a possible ‘birthmark’ from the division and the opening of the Galactic-rift birth-portal (?)

A sensation of Holy Choice = Holy Creation, etc. That all I do from this point forwards will manifest in the actual Galactic-space-living-field…


The Holy Empty Church


Mid-ceremony, possibly towards the end, witnessing myself as the Holy Empty Church. Experiencing the slight introduction to conscious-creation and sending out to a vision of a temple in the CH various ‘personal’ touches, etc.


God’s Holy Mandala Part 2


While I was still seated, a voice asked me to kneel down on the floor; there were other subtle implications of expressing thankfulness, etc., here… I got up and knelt down, my hands took on the gesture of an empty bowl resting in my lap and I stayed there in full mercy.

Soon the revelation came that all the filth, poverty and suffering of this world was/is a Holy Mandala (A field where god-plants roamed and propagated, to someday reconcile the recorded suffering of the original separation and be born as Galactic-beings. (?) )

I kissed the ground again and re-fell in love with the depravity-film of the Earth aspect (a second time). It was here that I committed myself to serve this Holy Mandala of Suffering…

Yage would come to me and ask if I was ready to commit entirely to being here in Peru and to serve Luco unconditionally… I agreed to this and she told me to make him an offer of my services…

As I stood up I experienced myself as several feet taller than my physical human form and sensed that I was standing up for the first time (Or at least a sense that I had not done this for eons.)

At this point I entered that ‘in between realm’ again and while standing, took on the visual likeness and spontaneous pose of an Egyptian statue stepping forwards with one foot forward. My body was shown as a glowing white form radiating in the darkness…


Mary’s golden eye


From this pose, I turned around and sat down; while seated and looking out there suddenly entered my body a vast presence: My/an inner voice introduced it as the Virgin Mary…

Suddenly my left hand involuntarily went out, a blazing golden eye opened up in it and I began slowly fanning this back and forth (with my hand held straight up/at a right angle), blanketing all those attending with Virgin Mary Medicine: This was an incredible event!

This presence in me was living and cosmically breathing, embodying itself inside my titanium skeleton… As I moved my hand slowly to the left and right I could discern small hearts, the sensation of kisses and gentle caresses going out in wave upon wave-forms, saturating all, like ripples in a pond… This lasted for 5-10 minutes.

It was at this point that I looked over and saw a shadow on the wall that I sensed depicted a friend’s suffering pose, a massive collection of sexual dark energies; I began sending all my healing energies/intentions to ‘it’. Within several minutes the shadow had slightly changed and I sensed that the tormented feminine had been healed to a degree that it was now reclining not through burden, rather in the ease of breathing with the personal power of an inner maiden-doctor/nurse…


Notes


We are the medicine boiling in the pot.

Note: Today, November 7; it is difficult to process myself through my mind: Experiencing my brain with wings…

In relation to my original best friend;
‘I was in love with you before Love was a word.’
Envisioning us walking on lotuses.
My being a column of fire holding the hands of a river (her).

Possible repeat? ~ The issue with my step-brother, to support him; making a commitment to do this…

Thank you God, thank you for my friends.

The deaf person singing Luco’s icaros, i.e., humming its tune. The threshold revelation (?)

The aspect of trusting Meghan; a beautiful birth of connection, surrender and annihilation of the aspect, Demonstration-drama-devices.

The Medicine’s effects and the integration of this Galactic-birth-state lasts still into this morning of November 8, though I feel more balanced, my sense of self does not work!

While still deeply in the zone and sharing with Paul and Jeff after the main part of the ceremony was over, I experienced Paul as the talking young Buddha. Embracing Jeff and welcoming one another home. The light Paul and I saw in the trees while sitting in the CH.