Ceremony 27

November 6, 2009


Your choices and actions will
be your organs and muscles.



This ceremony will mark the beginning, the true birth rise of my god childhood… Tonight was the second time that I’ve left it to Luco to pour me his choice of dose: Soon into the ceremony I would see the revelation delivered concerning the ‘field of choice’ that he sets up for those to decide how much they want, i.e., that this is solely related to my sense of being given the choice of dose.

The revelation showed me (after many other backdrop contexts occurring) that total surrender to his cosmic position as a master servant is the final breakthrough, to pass through the ‘right of choice’ and ‘changing of mind’ and enter holy communion with Trust and Surrender…

After having my dose I sat back in the rocker, covering myself up with my traditional blanket… Soon the medicine opened the electronic dimension, moonlight slowly ebbed through the CH, I sank deep, so deep into the medicine’s disclosures: Far, far down… Yage told me that it may be better for me to lay on the mat; prior to this I went to the restroom a couple times…

Laying down, Yage told me to cover myself up, to concentrate on the cape, (I recall that I was told that I would be receiving a cape at the beginning of this ceremony, during C.26 or outside of that ceremony at the river.) that I was safe, to relax, breath, etc.

As I relaxed a message came to me that the cape was about to be weaved; my neck began having quivering convulsions, I was told simultaneously that this cape was made of the wings of all those creatures/living beings of the Earth, all the way back to the Pterodactyl. I could sense the cape scrolling out of the back of my neck…

With the cape half way finished, my lessons would shift… Soon my experiential field would broaden to include the experiences of others; this was subtle, not intense and the mantra to ‘hold my space’ would not be so consistent this night… I sense that it has integrated as a sort of intuition via the zone-state of field-living in the electronic realm…

Several events occurred at this stage: I do not recall the exact sequence, though the timeframe is correct so far as its being at the start of the journey. As I lay on the mat I could hear that many were experiencing difficult journeys; several times dark energies were passing above me, Ayahuasca instructed me to ‘build my protection’…

Down deep I felt that I was somewhat let go for awhile to produce my own heart energies to send out to dissolve or give signature to my light-point in this ceremony space… I saw several screaming alien-ish creatures approach me: Throughout this period of witnessing these, my joy and state of innocent presence did not wane.


An empty basket


Suddenly my soul consciousness was transported to a temple complex; standing as a witness I saw a demon approach this place, I intuitively knew that this was my temple in another dimension… The demon was carrying a basket, he was visiting to pickup ‘supplies’ or ‘ingredients.’

When ‘he’ made it to my cabinets/shelves a light showed that there was nothing there for him to cook with… Soon my consciousness would return to my body in ceremony as I clutched myself in a field of incredible emotional response to this living affirmation and lay in deep, deep smiles of love for this work in the medicine, for my own integrity, etc.

There were several times when Yage asked me to rinse my mouth out (To definitely not swallow any water; Ayahuasca regulates this in such an incredible way, one’s body becomes her plant in a ceremony-pot.) She would also instruct me to close my eyes at certain times when there were ‘certain presences’ passing through the CH.


Diamond calcium


At one point, as my eyes were closed and I had covered myself up with my blanket (as instructed by Yage), I felt a presence enter the CH; my inner eye could perceive the being, though not the nature of its ‘business.’ (Later I would sense that it was a messenger.)

The image I witnessed was that of a 7-8 foot diamond skeleton… It was walking around in the central part of the CH, where there are no mats… I felt that this being was some sort of holy emissary.

I lay, while its visit subsided within 1-2 minutes; I then rose from time to time to send out love and forgiveness energies to those in the CH; I could feel the Sanango going deep, my skin was heating up and my mouth was consistently dry…


Fairies riding


There was a time when a group of fairies riding large, gangly smiling spiders showed up on my periphery; I smiled and beamed love to them, blowing them kisses and beckoning them to come to me (I believe they were already on route, only stationed waiting for my invitation.)

Suddenly there were many more; they covered my body quickly, something seemed to pass over ‘us.’ Once this was gone, they quickly dispersed; it seems that their sole purpose tonight was to protect me from something, acting as a sort of blanket. (Were these the same fairies connected to the act of my promise not to kill mosquitoes in C.26?)

I went to the restroom/at least two more trips while deeply immersed in the astral connection… Yage would call me her son several times and at a couple places in the night she’d coax me to stretch out, relax and ‘purr’ because I was her kitten, “lion/tiger cub.” The immense affection and endearment!


The rest


At some moment, early on, the cape finished; the same physical convulsions occurring, etc. After its completion I was told that this cape would be used to return spirits/souls/soul shards back to the Path of Love; there was also an indication that more details concerning its qualities were to come… (I did not receive a visual of this garment.)

I embraced my father, step mother and step brother several times at this ‘beginning’, sending out healing energies, etc.

At the stage where dark energies were moving through my field of experience, I was doing several hand gestures, making the smile line-pictures with astral string and sending them outwards, drawing hearts, pouring out as much heart energy as possible (At one point Aya told me that my capacity to send this aspect [Love and Forgiveness] was endless…


Moon light


At this stage I also sent many spheres imbedded with the intents of love, gratefulness, thanks, etc. to my parents, Luco, Meghan, my apprentice friends, etc. Several times I created blankets of hearts and panels, spreading these around me, laying, relaxing deeply as my joy resonated, peering through the moonlit interior, working deeply to hold my heart outwards, to pour rivers of love and affection into the CH space… Breezes would pass over from time to time; I would sense these as nearly ‘shamanic elements’ from Nature, assisting to clear the CH space…

The medicine dove deep; tensions would arrive in my muscles, then making a conscious decision, I would relax and surrender; Yage found something in my stomach/large intestines… An event occurred here that I’ve never experienced, several spheres were removed, though it felt as though they had no particular meaning, that they may have even been ‘gifts’ now not needed (expired) and being transferred to another (?) I felt these leave peacefully…

Another removal phenomenon not experienced before was a sudden need to pull from my fingertips some sort of orbs. Amazingly my fingertips were throbbing physically whenever one of these orbs would surface/migrate to their ends… I pressed out several of these (8-10) and gently tossed them onto the Pathway to Love, consciously looking towards that direction ahead of me and making a definite will-message that they go with my peace accompanying them…

Additionally something else that I’d do to balance and maintain my joy-space, to keep its electronic structure together, was a sort of back and forth gesture with my hands, to cup and take energies from my sex chakra to my crown and then from above back down again, a sort of see-saw effect…


Kiss-promises


There were several one, two and three kiss-promises (A new method of ‘sealing’ an agreement between Yage and I) that I made in the early parts of the ceremony to Ayahuasca: Several times I was instructed to kiss her by kissing my own arm/wrist or hand… Her presence tonight was so intimate... There was a promise concerning my commitment to support the family I have as my sacred ‘unit.’ The second involved a method of showing affection, i.e., to give no kisses on the lips of any who have present-commitments or ‘connections’ (This was a double promise), and the triple-kiss-promise was to only write love poetry…


Galactic Guardian Totem


As I dove deeper I suddenly found myself in Space: A voice came to me saying that my Galactic Guardian Totem was about to greet me: From above I saw a great sized Grizzly Bear dressed in some sort of ornaments/garb (?) It possessed enormous white angel-wings…

It descended upon me and instructed that I take its emerald eyes and swallow them; I did so and found myself sitting in my ceremony-rocking chair, while the bear-spirit being manifested in me… I could sense its paws superimposed over the tops of my hands, its broad body radiating through the parameters of mine and its head surrounding mine. Sensing that this was too intense for my beingness to sustain, I took the emeralds out of my mouth and stored them once again in my right eyebrow…

The quiet grandeur of this being!

Tonight I do not recall that the totem said anything else, other than the request to swallow its emerald eyes. To add: Peering through the emerald eyes, i.e., with the grizzly-spirit presence cloaked over me, saturating, I saw multiple transparent layers of Shipibo designs! (A first) I could feel my eyes quivering with electricity…


Glowing god-toys


Near mid-ceremony I found myself in some sort of semi-dark grove/a clearing near a forest… Vaguely I remember that the cape may have been connected to this new introduction/scene (?)

A voice came and told me that I would/was being initiated/given the gift to heal/work with Chakras…

Suddenly this dark clearing lit up with a most incredible group! There were giant, bright, rainbow hued chakra entities; it was as if these were the mothers/fathers of our body chakras (?) They floated about, semi-mingling with one another… Standing there I was so overwhelmed by their beauty that (even in astral form!) I turned away. The voice continued to tell me to read/study about chakras… [There were several places in this ceremony where voices (incognito seemingly) would narrate such scenes…]

(I recall that these mother/father hovering chakras had complex bodies filled with geometric designs/structures; as I write this they remind me a little of something between exotic cactus and orchid blossoms and complex jellyfish combined and semi-transparent.)

I believe there was at least once tonight that I called up all my totems to ‘equip me’ with themselves to assist with the immensities felt; and these arrived, though in subtle ways.

A sudden revelation came to me, it said, “All churches on Earth are spaceships doing divine work for the soul’s evolution, no matter the surface drama judged by the mind; that this context was on the scale of Eternity.”

[We see/judge phenomenon through the filters of human-body-mortality years, i.e., a predisposed lifespan/mind expectation/opinion of Time and expression; the ‘conspiracy theory’ is the unrecognized theorizer within.]


Filth surrounding lotus roots


I quickly entered an incredible emotional spaciousness; here I fell in love with those efforts that my Mother and Father made to bring me into the world. I also connected celestially to the body of the Earth, all of my friends, my own body, etc. Here the ecstatic tempo dropped so deep that my physical body-mind could not take it, i.e., produce enough expression to stay aligned with the enormous ecstasy depth occurring, demanding its birth and expression…

The aspect of gratefulness/thankfulness erupted in me, while my cries of the immense acceptance of my utter dependence on God and all creation drove my soul out of my body…

It was also at this stage that I began to perceive the Holy love vibration within me for ‘the filth of the world’. The process of falling in love with ‘the filth’ took place here as I knelt down and kissed the grainy CH floor…

I found myself in Space, looking down at what I sensed was the dark half of the Earth; a voice told me, “You are done with the mortal coil.” (There may have been an additional sentence here.)

There was a distinct implication that I was obliged not to ever turn my back (Period!) on anything involving God’s Holy Mandala, i.e., this Earth-space (The life coating of living Earth).


God’s field of eggs


Suddenly my body began to shake, immense streams of energy were shooting through me, I felt that there were fusions taking place between my second chakra and third eye: Soon these torrents of convulsions and fusions were so numerous I relinquished, and gave way to experiencing my body’s reaction to it on Earth…

I was returned to Space where a Galactic Birth took place; it felt as if there was a rift, i.e., a sort of vaginal opening in the fabric of Space, then a bursting, dual fanning out of white hot light; a voice sounded inside me, saying, “You have arrived, you are as you have always been, a god!”

My presence emerged from some sort of God-field of eggs (?) The moment is indescribable…


Cradle-watch


Soon I found my Galactic-beingness witnessing the origin-story about the birth of human beings! I could intuit the meanings, hearing them, though not audibly, it was as if the story spoke to my pure knowing, though not through sound waves… [I had entered through some kind of Galactic information pane.]

It explained that the God-seed split; one half became man and the other woman, that their union (procreation) was the sprout, the vehicle of God’s immortality, i.e., a division of the soul-god-seed, union, birth, division, union, birth and so on, God’s cells dividing eternally!


Twin flames


It was here that an immense revelation took place: In the context of this story of the birth of humans, the wisdom field dove somewhat sideways; I heard a voice tell me that my current friend Tobie, here in Peru, was my “Original Best Friend”, that she was ‘that other’ who was produced at the time of ‘that’ God-seed’s division which produced me… I, incarnated in the role of its male half and she in its female half… The sensation was that we had not met since this event, possibly for eons.

The immense emotion of finding her, my original best friend: The vision of her dancing jubilation as a young girl coming towards me, smiling, laughing, full of the Positive-Eternal! And an extraordinary celebration of innocence, our sharing of company, to just know another, to be blessed by company!! The aspect of knowing someone different than my ‘I AM.’ A whole new vision of others was born here.


Fulcrum love


This process continued; I saw myself in Space, deep Galactic-space, beyond context and specific expressing… In one hand I was holding extreme poverty, in another I grasped wealth and abundance: I experienced myself as stationed there, an eternally fused linkage of love, as a kind of permanent position, as a sort of fulcrum point…


God speaks


This scene changed and I experienced myself back on Earth, sitting near the Ceremony House’s screened wall, yet my consciousness was somewhere else, at a sort of duplicate ‘fascia’… I saw/experienced myself kneeling down at a fence line and voice said, “Welcome to my kingdom’s gates.” This was God’s voice…

I saw myself as a solid titanium skeleton that was covered in all kinds of runes, some kind of celestial language riddled over my entire skeletal body like hieroglyphs on an Egyptian temple…

God said, “Your choices and actions will become your organs and muscles.”

I knelt as the titanium skeleton and kissed the dirt and debris outside God’s kingdom’s walls: It was also here that I experienced the crying of a kitten that I’ve recently found here in Peru and experienced it in this God-dimension as being on the inside of the fence line…

I lived in this moment as a brand new Galactic god-birth, a baby of god as a god with the body of a hieroglyphic titanium smiling skeleton. Additionally God revealed to me that the only organ/muscle that I would possess in its fullness was a red beating heart, stationed/hanging suspended inside this skeleton…


Second hero birth


I returned to the CH; in my human body-shell I experienced a major surge of energy and a kind of second manifestation of a birth, the Birth of the Hero (though not the affirmative Hero-mythic, a reality) and while now continuing to hear the kitten crying outside the CH, I also experienced two dimensions at the same time; in this galactic consciousness, peering out, sensing my new body within the human coat, I looked towards where I sensed the cat was and whispered to him that he’d be ok/alright… I also sent him a Sphere of Care, Warmth, etc. Simultaneously I experienced my consciousness in Space looking out to the stars with the same care and will-wishes, as if they too were my ‘kittens’.
[It was also here that a quickening of the aspect of dignity took place.]

The hero-stage was a brief scene (I believe that it was connected to the image/being of myself in Space as the fulcrum, a hero-balance of poverty and prosperity.)


Ruby roots


While coming out of the Hero-birth/manifestation, I suddenly heard God’s voice say, “And to you I give the red ruby.” In a flash my head and neck/upper back began convulsing deeply; I saw the ruby as a huge elongated oval or rectangle dangling in my skull, towards its forefront, fusing, electric, so, so intense! I do not recall any purpose/meaning being disclosed about it (?) Possibly this was connected to Dignity or prior to the Hero-birth (?)


God’s emerald forest


Coming ‘out’ of the Galactic birth, while laying on my mat, I suddenly found myself standing in a deep, dark, massive forest: God’s voice said, “Welcome to my emerald forest.”

I faintly saw huge, dark gem clusters, similar to stalactites, hanging down like Spanish moss from the tree canopies (Trees that I could not discern in detail). The immensity was similar to the ‘Chakra Garden’ (Too much to behold and hold steady with). I quickly found myself back in my body on the mat…


God-child


Another incredible surge of boundless energy washed over me: I recall Yage saying, “Now you have the strength and dignity to get up.” I tried this several times, partially rising up from my mat, taking water to wet my mouth and spitting it out in my bucket…

My consciousness was radiating inside this new body, a sense of myself as a Galactic-god-child was/is the most immense event/feeling I have ever experienced so far in my life…

My human consciousness was gone, pure cosmic beholding took front and back row seats, while my human ‘connections’ were being ‘taught’ by my newborn Galactic-sense(s) somewhere in the middle…


I am welcome in Life


I noticed that I had run out of water and looked to Paul, who was sitting to my left; a shyness to ask happened inside me and then a pause occurred within the omni-presence of my consciousness, as if it were a sort of meteor or single asteroid-echo suspended in Space…

A new sort of dignity rose up in me, a kind of fearlessness and trust that I am welcome in Life… I asked him if I could have a drink of his water and he said, “Sure.” Kneeling down, he picked it up and said, “Actually, you can have it all.”

Deeply immersed, bound inside the resonance of this titanium body-skeleton I looked to him and graciously thanked him for his generosity and willingness to share…
I ‘entered’ the inside of the CH as if I (my consciousness) was radiating out, pulsating through my human-shell…

I got up and went to sit on the rocking chair, which was directly in front of my mat… When sitting down I could discern my body with my inner-eyes. (Before getting up to sit down, it is here that Yage told me that I could drink a little sip of water.)


Neptune filled


As I sat there, my consciousness embodied in the resonating field of the titanium skeleton’s presence, my presence left and went to a sort of in between space (?) [Between Time, Physical and Outer Space (?)]

It is vague at this one scene how I reached from the Ceremony House to Outer Space… Nonetheless, I took hold of the planet Neptune and while holding it in my left hand, I leaned over and taking my cup of water, put Neptune in my mouth like a pill and swallowed it: I could feel it suddenly expand inside me to a much larger size…

The voice of God came to me and said, “The planets are my candies and Pluto is my favorite chocolate.”


Holy Choice


When sitting in the chair as the god-skeleton, I found myself making sweeping vertical loop to loop gestures with my arms and hands in full orchestrations straight down my torso, balancing, moving rhythmically to the icaros…

It is here that I sensed the holy division line down my center, a possible ‘birthmark’ from the division and the opening of the Galactic-rift birth-portal (?)

A sensation of Holy Choice = Holy Creation, etc. That all I do from this point forwards will manifest in the actual Galactic-space-living-field…


The Holy Empty Church


Mid-ceremony, possibly towards the end, witnessing myself as the Holy Empty Church. Experiencing the slight introduction to conscious-creation and sending out to a vision of a temple in the CH various ‘personal’ touches, etc.


God’s Holy Mandala Part 2


While I was still seated, a voice asked me to kneel down on the floor; there were other subtle implications of expressing thankfulness, etc., here… I got up and knelt down, my hands took on the gesture of an empty bowl resting in my lap and I stayed there in full mercy.

Soon the revelation came that all the filth, poverty and suffering of this world was/is a Holy Mandala (A field where god-plants roamed and propagated, to someday reconcile the recorded suffering of the original separation and be born as Galactic-beings. (?) )

I kissed the ground again and re-fell in love with the depravity-film of the Earth aspect (a second time). It was here that I committed myself to serve this Holy Mandala of Suffering…

Yage would come to me and ask if I was ready to commit entirely to being here in Peru and to serve Luco unconditionally… I agreed to this and she told me to make him an offer of my services…

As I stood up I experienced myself as several feet taller than my physical human form and sensed that I was standing up for the first time (Or at least a sense that I had not done this for eons.)

At this point I entered that ‘in between realm’ again and while standing, took on the visual likeness and spontaneous pose of an Egyptian statue stepping forwards with one foot forward. My body was shown as a glowing white form radiating in the darkness…


Mary’s golden eye


From this pose, I turned around and sat down; while seated and looking out there suddenly entered my body a vast presence: My/an inner voice introduced it as the Virgin Mary…

Suddenly my left hand involuntarily went out, a blazing golden eye opened up in it and I began slowly fanning this back and forth (with my hand held straight up/at a right angle), blanketing all those attending with Virgin Mary Medicine: This was an incredible event!

This presence in me was living and cosmically breathing, embodying itself inside my titanium skeleton… As I moved my hand slowly to the left and right I could discern small hearts, the sensation of kisses and gentle caresses going out in wave upon wave-forms, saturating all, like ripples in a pond… This lasted for 5-10 minutes.

It was at this point that I looked over and saw a shadow on the wall that I sensed depicted a friend’s suffering pose, a massive collection of sexual dark energies; I began sending all my healing energies/intentions to ‘it’. Within several minutes the shadow had slightly changed and I sensed that the tormented feminine had been healed to a degree that it was now reclining not through burden, rather in the ease of breathing with the personal power of an inner maiden-doctor/nurse…


Notes


We are the medicine boiling in the pot.

Note: Today, November 7; it is difficult to process myself through my mind: Experiencing my brain with wings…

In relation to my original best friend;
‘I was in love with you before Love was a word.’
Envisioning us walking on lotuses.
My being a column of fire holding the hands of a river (her).

Possible repeat? ~ The issue with my step-brother, to support him; making a commitment to do this…

Thank you God, thank you for my friends.

The deaf person singing Luco’s icaros, i.e., humming its tune. The threshold revelation (?)

The aspect of trusting Meghan; a beautiful birth of connection, surrender and annihilation of the aspect, Demonstration-drama-devices.

The Medicine’s effects and the integration of this Galactic-birth-state lasts still into this morning of November 8, though I feel more balanced, my sense of self does not work!

While still deeply in the zone and sharing with Paul and Jeff after the main part of the ceremony was over, I experienced Paul as the talking young Buddha. Embracing Jeff and welcoming one another home. The light Paul and I saw in the trees while sitting in the CH.