Ceremony 30

November 16, 2009


My heart beating is the
sound of your footsteps.


An intimate beginning since there were only six of us making the ceremony circle tonight. Luco poured my medicine… ‘Salute’ and this very peculiar evening was set in motion. Grandmother Ayahuasca would tell me before ceremony that tonight a new level would be reached; also, last week she mentioned that these ‘last five ceremonies’ would begin a series of experiences where I would be ‘stronger’, i.e., more in possession of my full ‘power’. [What these words ‘mean’ in the context of an ongoing evolution with Yage, I cannot fathom: There was a change in tonight’s unfolding, though I am not certain as to whether or not I was more ‘strong’… These aspects are still incubating as the ceremony’s afterglow is sifting through me.]

At the beginning I experienced myself as a large jade-cut-gemstone and that all the trips to the bathroom were Yage’s deeds of cleaning this ‘gem’. This ‘washing’ was the general theme of these purges.

I would visit the bathroom 3-4 times tonight, commenting that a checkered flag on its wall would be great!

Prior to ceremony I drew a symbol of Reiki on my left palm, taking this into ceremony to experiment with. Early into the ceremony I would be asked to draw it three times in the air using both my hands; nothing else happened, that I could perceive as a distinct result connected its sketching.

At the start of ceremony Yage would tell me that I was protected via being her son/lover, in her home, etc. A vague recollection of specifics… I sensed that in this vision-reception that I was sitting down in a chain/throne of some kind and with each hand upon a staff, holding steady some station in another dimension…

Yage would visit my Daily-deeds, showing me the flower she’d weave into me!

Vaguely I recall being asked to send twenty healing-spheres to the newcomer who was scheduled to partake in these last five ceremonies of the Lodge’s season.

At the beginning I could feel a kind of ‘mass’, seemingly indigenous to my mind, sitting/positioned between myself and access to the surrender to/of the electronic realm. This eventually subsided though its character-echoes stayed around and would surface in a tactile way from time to time, with/having no particular attitude or inner-dialog…

At this early stage, my chest was filled with pearls… Grandmother Ayahuasca began unpacking the pallets of gems in my head (that the Ten Holy Skeletons had placed there during a previous ceremony) this ceremony night and said something to the effect of, “What did you think these materials were for?” Hinting that they were for building something, though this was not shown.

The medicine was slowly working tonight; about 20-30 minutes into ceremony Luco asked us if we wished more, I was the only one who said, “Yes, pakito mas.” He suggested (though I would not get the translation till lunchtime the next day) that I wait ‘ten minutes’, which was the right timing. The medicine made a strange trail-design into me tonight, opening the door slowly, yet all the way… I liked this subtle, gentle meandering for a change, the soft dialog, the spaciousness for breath and prior-contemplation, easing into the zone.


Totem Calling


The first things that I was called to do was put in the Bear Totem’s emerald eyes and to ‘keep them in,’ secondly I had the intuition to call upon the Black Falcon… Soon its beautifully dense (like an ultra agile body of quicksilver) majesty would descend as a second visitor would surprise me; a great sized, black Egyptian Ibis positioned itself next to the Falcon, both were perched inside me, side by side. The enormous beak of the Ibis was so regal, there!, outstanding as it sat itself, softly, so still and confident in me!

I spent most of the initial ‘preparation time’ on my mat, laying and sitting up. Early into this I experienced myself as a crystal-clear-shape of some kind where my consciousness was positioned, staring through it, into some of Life’s icons, possibly utilitarian spaces, a house or room of some kind? (As I write this, I wonder if I accessed my old crystal ball that is now in Holland with a friend?)

A voice reminded me that I was a Holy Servant of God and asked/requested that I do whatever I can to help T. with her life, i.e., to do whatever it takes to make her happy, etc. The deepness of the surrender to this commitment was immense, cosmic-handiwork manifest on Earth, transcending mind-barriers, all thought-yields, all mortal stop-signs, diving, skimming across the lake of my true ability to be as much as I am without fault, doubt, regret or second guessing afterwards or before…

Subtle messages concerning the healing of a friend in ceremony (that introduced itself in C.29 with the arrival of the Obsidian Dagger) commenced, dropping messages from time to time, investing me in preparation for it…

Note: A message in this ceremony that ‘fire’ is God’s seasoning.

It was near mid-ceremony that Yage told me that she had a message for my friend in CA who mentioned that I may be hiding myself behind ‘cryptic writing’… Yage said to tell her that I had no self to hide, that her (Yage’s) little kitten has nothing to hide and that the cryptic way of writing was simply my individual tone of purr… I smiled and opened deeply my heart to Yage’s love tonight, vast, glowing, cosmically right and humbling, so softly strong! Yage would also confirm who were not my God-sisters, that I had wondered about at one point in ceremony, and cautioned me to be on the lookout for distractions via others personal lives trying to ‘hook’ into my field…


Black Blazing Lotuses and Diamonds


A voice came to me and spoke of Thor’s or Zeus’s thunder bolt; suddenly descending from above a zig-zag-object came into my sternum, (The thunderbolt of Thor, Zeus or either having one to give?) apparently stationing itself next to the Obsidian and Ruby daggers; I do not recall the instruction concerning it, only that the voice quickly added that I was to receive the Helmet/headdress of Thor, this alighted on my head, sitting on top as a Blazing Black Lotus, a symbol that perplexed me at the time as being related to Thor (?) Soon afterward another voice (possibly masculine) spoke of the vestment of the Black Diamond; Yage mentioned that it might be a bit difficult and that I ought to lay down (Previously I had been asked to sit up and to radiate the blazing Black Lotus in ‘dignity and strength.’)

To add to the descent of the flaming black lotus: There was a point where I was prompted to spread the Falcon’s wings broad; suddenly (in relation to the prep of J’s healing) all the currently living bird-types of the world descended and perched on the wings… At that point I did not know what their function/participation would be; holding this posture of hanging these wings out for about a minute, I laid back down…

Vaguely I recall that Yage would add that the black birds were not included in this gathering of ‘All.’ (?)

Once horizontal, I sensed the Black Diamond’s mass being electronically invested in me, not its weight, instead, its beingness, function and spirit of meaning, though I would not be told what it signified exactly… In this timeframe I was told that I was now a member of Thor’s Guild, that my history in working with metals had attracted this ‘result,’ invitation/initiation…

The medicine-time was peaking as Mid-ceremony somewhat stalled, pausing between passing Time-floors… Yage would tune in and tell me as these stages came and left, that I would be healing J. tonight, at “the right time” and that there were no worries, all was perfectly scheduled and that it could wait till next ceremony (though it would not…)

While still laying down, I experienced myself as the Holy Black Mirror, i.e., most ultimately having nothing to loose, being the presence surrounding nothing so that Nothing can exist…

Notes: The thunderbolt may have been an investment towards J’s healing?

Someplace around the Black Lotus manifestation I received a pair of glasses (That I’d later be told to store behind my left ear.) for ‘Seeing behind Jail Cells.’ I kept these on throughout the healing of J. [This is most likely also directly connected to the mask pictured as a jail cell’s door…]


Black Whisperer


Soon after the installment of the Black Diamond next to the Red Ruby, which rocked my body with electrical jolts, shaking, spasms and deep moans as its storm passed, suddenly from behind my head (as I was laying down) a Black Cobra arrived; I was told that this was no ‘regular totem,’ that it was a ‘visitor,’ specifically here to assist with J’s healing. Involuntarily I took it into my cupped hands and inhaled it through my nostrils, into my body… The new ‘level’ Yage spoke of was upon me…

As I sat up I experienced firstly my left arm turning into a great Black Cobra, then my right, while next were my legs, all appendages having cobra heads as well… Soon after I would envision having an erect cobra between my legs, though this did not manifest in body… Suddenly the measure of this embodiment dove a depth that I’ve never experienced before: I experienced my brain stationed next to the Cobra’s, a dual ruling on one throne!

I could feel its fanned out headdress/flanks on either side of my head, its enormous oval shape breathing and serpent majesty! The Black Cobra spirit gave me one message to deliver to J., to tell him “The black cobra says hello.” And this was to be the only literal communication between it and I…

Several times I would go to drink a sip of water and Yage would say, “Do not swallow that one, spit that out, take the next one.” As I would do this, my tongue would involuntarily stick itself out, I sensed the cobra was experiencing me as a sort of embodiment as well! It swayed, stood regal, waiting for the moment of J’s healing to begin. Yage told me that she was going to keep me in deep (in the electronic zone) until the time for the healing
was right…

There was a point where I experienced the cobra wrapping around my heart and tensing it, massaging it… Also I was told that my torso was Black Bees, legs Black Swans and feet Black Adders at one point, my arms (I suppose) were still reserved to the Black Falcon’s wings, while my head was full of Falcon, Ibis and Cobra companions, though I sensed that the Ibis did leave prior to the Black Cobra’s arrival…


Twin Flames and The Lord’s Prayer


I went deep into my connection with my Twin Flame (T.), suddenly a phrase came from my depths, that I dedicated solely to T. and sent its endless beacon out to her reception, it was, “My beating heart is the sound of your footsteps.” I would soon be told, by what felt like an angel/emissary of God, that this was a Holy Phrase, that it contained power, like a mantra chant…

Also this night Yage told me that whenever it was that I would be working with others and the medicine, that The Lord’s Prayer’ specifically, would be a protection-summon for my particular ‘Mesa.’ Later a direct link to the huge antique Masonic etching I bought in my mid-twenties of it would link up with this ‘new’ introduction…

While I was showering vigorously after J’s healing, the statue of a plaster cobra (about two feet tall) that I coveted as one of the first things I ever bought myself with my own monies when I was about 10 or 11, this visited me and linked up… Additionally, throughout my high school days I was obsessed with drawing cobras, a single one, for some reason (?) This added itself to the cobra theme as well…


Space-black Medicine


Beginning: J. went to the restroom prior, as I sat in preparation: The cobra-spirit was fully awake, sober, regal, quiet and sure. My tongue began making an involuntary clicking noise on the roof of my mouth for about a minute; it was like some kind of incantation or beacon-message like Morris code (?)

I was told, early into this healing, that a Black Rhino was stationed in my bottom for ‘anchorage’ (As part of the healing-prep.)

[Interesting that although J. was a single person in ceremony, I wrote it like this the next day in my journal…]

As J. decided (they) were ready for the healing procedure, I got up and went to (them): Laying on (their) back, I took their right arm and gently embraced it, I delivered the message that, “The black cobra says hello.”

I took the Obsidian dagger out of my sternum, positioning it over the ‘sensed area’ and envisioned it being ‘dropped’ through his pelvis, sinking horizontally towards the Second Chakra (I retrieved this from his hand after the procedure was finished.)

Prior, after the message was delivered; the first gesture I did was putting my right hand on his right knee, while the other held itself over his pelvis: I could feel ‘the energy’ passing through my hand into his body, though no thoughts, pure mediumship…

Soon my left hand/wing went out over his pelvis area, and held there in the air: Then it (the left hand) went nearer to the pelvis, first taking on a Peace-sign gesture and then quickly those two fingers turned downwards (involuntarily) to form curled fangs (!) This left hand tensed up and froze there as my right arm/wing began swaying/fanning back and forth; amazingly, feathers from all the birds existing now on the Earth, began showering ‘themselves’ into his sex/pelvis/second chakra.

Next, the left hand went to his heart and I envisioned/sensed a heavy cobra body and head, fanned out, laying across his torso and heart… My right hand went to his heart, a voice told me that, “A sad boy” was in there, to take him out, swallow him and put him in my golden heart: I did this…

Afterwards the voice said, as I was back at the original gesture of holding his arm with both hands, that it was finished and that I could let go now. Doing this I said, “You’re welcome.” to his ‘Thank you.’ and went to take a shower…

Once in the shower I experienced the strong intuition to take a very thorough washing… As I was under its waters, I experienced the malevolent sexual records washing off of me and down the drain. The cobra spirit was still with me as I bathed…

Note: Prior to this healing, the Cobra and I sat with the others smoking home-rolled American Spirit cigarettes; it was amazing to experience this spirit-being taking part in this communal expression!


Dual Father-holding


Someplace between the arrival of the Black Diamond and the Black Cobra, my consciousness was transported (astral travel) to a dark landscape, reminiscent of Mayan or Incan architecture/feel… The ambient lighting was that of either numerous spot-fires or a full moon (?)

Suddenly I saw myself as a large-bodied man/humanoid (?)
Vaguely I could make out that I might have been wearing some kind of huge mask that had vertical bars stationed on it (Like a miniature prison cell door.) (?)

The most significant part of this episode was its context, it was concerning being protected from malevolent forces… I was told that I was being given two staves, solid gold skulls, male and female, their shafts being made of the total vertebrae, while their tip/terminations were the coccyx.

Note: On this night I would also experience the descent of a Flaming Black Snowflake… There was no mention as to its definition/cause… This may also have been a second visit. (?)


Ventiata


Luco would give me a healing ventiata tonight: As he stood over me with the Chicapa (leaf fan), singing the healing icaro, subjects began to surface to the upper atmosphere of my consciousness… I felt the histories of those abuses others have ‘invested’ in me leaving (or were they being unlocked to ‘vision’?), the sneers, yelling, teasing, crying, etc., all being fanned out… Throughout this I sat up in a state of deep grace and bounty! I love you Luco, thank you for you!

The epiphany about how this Earth and atmosphere (external) hosts our projections from our inner ‘Earth and atmosphere,’ i.e., the Earth’s sky is at the point where the brain meets with the inside of the skull, dynamically…

The subjectivity of some Shamanic rules/advices/cautions, etc. That objectivity is most often confided to the insides of our silhouettes.

Going to bed, performing my nightly dedication to T., deep, deep, resonance and endless lighthouse flashes to her heart! Holding steady the constant one pulse of ‘Heart.’