Ceremony 23

October 25, 2009


You are the most precious possession you have.



Tonight’s ceremony started off different than any other time that I can recall… After drinking my ‘dose’ I lay back in the rocker and drifted in Luco’s icaros, letting it ‘hold me’ and allow space for meandering too… The evening was very still; it was the last ceremony for three other attending tonight.

I deliberately kept the entryway into tonight’s journey ‘simple’, wishing Aya (Ayahuasca) to bring those lessons and revelations it wished.

Opening my eyes I could feel a slight breeze and distinctly heard the sound of wings flapping in front of me; it was dark, a slight light in the sky could be seen from the C.H. though none of it filtered in… Later Aya would tell me that the winged sounds were her.

Much of this ceremony involved my being-state of consciousness merging with the icaros; also learning/practicing more and more how to apply humility and gratefulness to my present perceptions, no matter the dimension it’s ‘in’.

The external visions were minimal due to the blackness of night, too, the electric realm had not manifested itself as intense as other nights…


Poems


Tonight I purged ‘Selfishness,’ and Aya told me that she would (this night) return me to writing poetry, to always keep her in mind/heart while writing: That the poems did not have to be about her, only that I honor her relationship with me.

She told me tonight that there were no longer any “big dangers” in me and recapped points concerning being her son, protected by her being in me and that she wanted me back here in Peru “as quick as possible.” Following this were details alluding to the fact that things would unfold and work their way out once I am back in CA. I briefly asked about my new friend and she replied that I was doing well with the friendship, i.e., she gave me an affirmative sense concerning this… She also outlined various ‘appropriate’ guidelines to follow.


Bee-medicine


Towards the middle of the ceremony Aya called upon me to send “honey” from my heart to one of the attendees who was having a difficult night; while in a state-of-being that I sensed was connected to the Bee-medicine, I made narrow squeezing gestures with a prayer-hand posture placed in front of my heart and directed the ‘flow’ towards her… Several times I experienced dark thoughts/energies; Aya told me that these were those of the person purging.

Allot of sweating towards the end of the ceremony and deep yawns… [Again, no dry heaves; she told me tonight that I was “clean” and that I’d have no more dry heaves.]

Throughout the night I sent Love and Acceptance towards my parents, friends and those who have hurt me, forgiving them.

Note: On purging ‘Selfishness’ I experienced a state of consciousness where I was taken back (or deeper presently arrived) to a state of utter awe and precious dedication to myself, this existence, body and mind: I was told by a voice that, “You are your most precious possession.” It was here that I sensed the renunciation of external objects/possessions as affirmations/projections of me, i.e., types of needs, etc. Then followed the deep, lengthy yawn-purge of Selfishness.

Near the middle of this evening Yage thanked me and quietly commended me on being ‘careful’ with her temple, etc. She continued and said, “You are my most precious heart possession.” and that she had “billions of billions of hearts.”


Heart thrones


I experienced, alongside returning to this extraordinary state of selfhood/sensing my clear-conscience-self as my most prized possession, that Aya was courting me: Soon she would say, “Let’s make love inside your heart.”

As I was already laying down on my right side, a strange phenomenon then occurred, my head and neck started to convulse and shake deeply in a muscular way that I’ve never experienced in my life. As this was occurring a state of utter beholding and awe flooded over me; her voice told me that this would finish and complete the protection of my crown chakra; there may have been something concerning the finishing of some kind of armor as well (?)

Aya added after the heart-love-making that I was both “son and lover.” For a brief flash I understood this in the context revealed, i.e., that she (Yage) belonged to a sort of uncategorized-able feminine, omni-feminine, an All roles at once-Being.


One thousand years


At some point in the ceremony (after the heart-love) my left side was hurting: my hand involuntarily went there and began massaging it deeply, delicately; once again she told me that I’d heal people with my hands with her help and that I was born a healer (something to this effect).

She also told me that I should never massage anyone voluntarily, that I had absorbed allot of negative energies of others by voluntarily touching/massaging them…

She continued to say that the mild pain at my left side was now a psychic wound from a battle injury a thousand years ago… She concluded by saying that in the next ceremony we’d travel in Space, that she would teach me more, show me gifts (?) and finalize the healing of this wound.

Note: I briefly experienced 3-4 times the headdress manifestation of/on me, i.e., the headdress of the Goddess of Love.

This night Luco did a healing ventiata over me; as this was happening Aya told me to give/express my gratitude to him… As she said this I bowed my head as low as it could go and entered a deep state of emptying myself of all mind, all contrast, all expectation and commentary, expressing quiet, a most inner, inner humility and gratitude, that mind could not go here with me.

As he began to do this ventiata Aya told me that he would be clearing the rest of a mind-residue via the love-making that triggered a type of mind-purge; this purge continued well into the afternoon of the following day, and finally seemed to end once I went down to the river for the third time that day: Paul and I first went there around 1AM…
Additionally, there was a message that he was clearing away “ghosts from my past.”

Note: Paul’s ceremony vision of me sitting down on the ground in a market surrounded by Peruvian women; he said that I was “drunk with ecstasy and had a very big smile.” I also had a beautiful dream of holding my father and coming home inside his heart-field.


Bee


I sent heart-honey several times to the attendee this night; while this took place Aya was subtly teaching me about when and when not to ‘get closer’, ‘involve’ deeper and to not engage the person’s energy field-open-purge, i.e., to allow her to work solely at this/that stage, etc.

Again, I was reminded to be very careful, that all my actions were alive, to be cautious with choice and patient with evil/darkness.

Towards the beginning of the ceremony I felt that the bee-medicine was some how ‘open’, various vague gestures, sensations and partial visions hinted at it, though it seemed to stay at my peripheral (?) Later my hands would involuntarily draw antennae at either side of my head and I would enter a deep, inexplicable trance state that I simply cannot describe with words…

I sense that this was some sort of entry or standing at the doorway of some ‘connection’ (?)

During this hive mind trance a spot in the middle of my chest started aching; I massaged this with a sort of acupressure and it seemed to unlock a deeper state of trance connection; the ‘connection’ did seem shared by ‘so much’ that ‘sense of one’ made no play within ‘me.’ I was it and ‘it’ was indistinct, blank, awesome…

Note: Allot of hand and arm gestures throughout the night as Luco sang the icaros and I hummed, silently whistled and pronounced along with him… Beautiful! (Similar ones to those I have occur with the Indian music.)

There was a point where I envisioned ‘clear skulls’ or at least the sensing of the subject matter of them in my consciousness… And a connection with fellow Paul: Deeper consideration for him inside unconditional friendship of soul evolution and taking Ayahuasca… To (for all those I experience) let go of knit-picky nesses, small details, expectation and comparing.


Mind is your original friend.


Note: The clearing out of my mind: the thoughts coming to me that ‘Mind is your original friend. It is not mind, it is its diapers needing to be changed.’

Shamanic moderation… Aya told me that I was suffering for my father and my family generations too; that he (my father) was growing too through these ceremonies…

The time spent at the dining table in the Main House after ceremony: my eyes were very sensitive and the body very weak in the morning/early afternoon via the effects of Sanango… Deep contemplation of Contemplation while at the table.


Suns


Aya told me that she’d “provide a vehicle” for the birth of my son… It was on this night that I sensed that I was ready to have a child in my life, yet I cannot see this unfolding presently (?) A deep mystery is building…

As I was thinking about sending healing towards my mother and father, Aya told me to relax, that tonight the healing was for me; deep gratitude! Embracing of myself and extraordinary blissful-joy! At one point towards the end of the ceremony I experienced what seemed like the beginnings of the formation of my own icaros, though made totally of sounds, no phrases/words.

While Paul was receiving his ventiata from Luco, my right hand was following/imitating the shaking rhythm of the leaf fan and going over my chest and chakra areas.

There were several sessions tonight where I lay making hand and arm gestures, pulling energies/bridging the sex chakra with the crown chakra, clearing, sending out positive/healing energies, hearts, etc. A first; to be prompted to send healing from the bathroom…

Aya saying at the beginning, middle and end of ceremony,
“I am not Ayahuasca, I am Ayahuasca; love them both.”

Aya told me that, “This is your last incarnation, you will not have to do this again.” (?)

Ayahuasca also recapped the ‘caffeine question’ (although I did not ask it on this night) by gently saying, “I am the only caffeine you need.”